JOT Week 3 - Have Compassion For Yourself

[betty.etal]

Hi Janey

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my posting. :0)

I've actually just been sitting with the intro to JOT to decide what to do. When I read the following, the way forward was very clear for me:

Rick writes: "There are three fundamental phases to psychological and spiritual growth: being with difficult material (eg old wounds, anger); releasing it; and replacing it with something more beneficial."

He goes on to say that while there are some from each of the three, most of what is in JOT is from the third type.

I've realised that after having lived the illusion of a happy childhood and denied everything that needs resolving in me for so long, my learning to be with difficult material is at a stage that is too fragile to spend much time focusing on the third stage - because I was brought up to ignore all the problems and just "focus on the positive". So in accordance with this week's theme of having compassion for myself, I've decided to wish everyone the best with JOT and not continue to work with it for now for myself, because I feel that it's diluting my much needed practice of learning to simply be with whatever is arising. I've made a note in my diary to revisit whether it's time to work with JOT on a six monthly basis - I'm sure the time will come, but it's not here yet.

The best analogy I can find is that I was taught to wallpaper over huge cracks in the wall, and I know now that I have to sit with the cracks in the wall and heal them, before deciding on the new wallpaper.

So all the best for your JOT journey everyone, and thanks for the opportunity to be a part of it for the first few weeks.

Betty

[Steve]

I agree, it would be very interesting to have his input on the points raised. I wonder how we might pursue that. Anyone any ideas?

Steve

[Gareth]

P.S. I remember someone suggesting in the first thread, I think it was, that we should/ could get Rick Hanson's feedback on our joint JOT practice... I'd love to get that feedback now, on whether his book *is* a mindfulness book, or not, haha

I keep messaging him on Twitter, but so far nothing.

[Metaphysical Me]

Hey Betty, yep, I *totally* get what you've written - good call!

Gareth, I know from experience that it's relatively easy to get a response by someone from his team by commenting on one of the posts on his Facebook site (I think for Buddha's Brain) - might be an alternative to Twitter? If you can't find the site, let me know and I'll see if I can track it down again.

But I guess what Betty wrote/ cited from the book's introduction does clarify that the JOT book *is* about exercises in positivity, rather than in "neutral" mindfulness.

[JonW]

"Rick writes: 'There are three fundamental phases to psychological and spiritual growth: being with difficult material (eg old wounds, anger); releasing it; and replacing it with something more beneficial.'
Rick's entitled to his views. However, that is not mindfulness practice. That is positive psychology, something else entirely.
Just saying.

[Steve]

It seems that quite a few people feel that the focus of this book is too far removed from mindfulness for them and/or (for the same reason) may not be as good a choice as we hoped for this forum.

I have mixed views but what do others think? Do you want to continue, is it an appropriate topic for this forum or should we look for something else?

Steve

[Metaphysical Me]

Well, I've "found my approach" to dealing with the book in a mindful way. And I'm finding it useful and would like to continue with it, now that I've made my peace with it.

I think most of the people that came here via Twitter have dropped off because they're just busy with other stuff - not so much because JOT is possibly not strictly a mindfulness book.

I guess I don't mind if we switch to a different weekly mindfulness focus tho - whether it's the "Elephant" book, or something else.

What do you think, Steve?

[FeeHutch]

I am happy to continue because although I have found compassion a bit of a challenge this week I am getting a lot from the practice. I do feel that I can approach it from a mindful perspective

[Metaphysical Me]

Well, I would say that we 3 plough on then

If the others want to re-start the Elephant book, or try another book, I don't see why that couldn't just happen parallel...

I've also asked my best friend to join the JOT book exercise, so hopefully she'll sign up in the next few days...? She says she's keen, so maybe we'll be 4 at minimum, then...

[Steve]

Sounds good to me. It might be useful to highlight ways of linking the exercises with mindfulness, especially for anyone following who is new to mindfulness. In many cases, I think this should be pretty easy as there seems to be much overlap between mindfulness and other approaches. Week 4 seems to provide an opportunity for this and I'll post on there a bit later on.

I've been able to show myself compassion during the week. Whenever I noticed I was feeling under attack or hurt by the actions/words of others, I tried to step back mentally and metaphorically hold my own hand to support myself in trying not to take things too personally.

Steve