JOT Week 1 - Be For Yourself

[FeeHutch]

As we are now into the second of two weeks spent on week 1... that made sense in my head.. anyway, as we are I thought I'd start the new thread.

So, be for yourself. I get the idea of being my own best friend, having compassion for myself rather than being very self critical. I am not quite sure how best to use the cue sheets and wondered if anyone else minds sharing their thoughts?

Are you noting down when you do each thing, using them to meditate on, ticking each thing off?

[Cori]

Cue Sheets? what are these? I Have downloaded the kindle version cant see any work sheets

[FeeHutch]

Cue Sheets? what are these? I Have downloaded the kindle version cant see any work sheets

There was a link on the first page of the original thread. The cue sheets can be found here http://media.rickhanson.net/files/JOT_Cue_Sheets.pdf

And here is the little video for week 1. http://justoneminute.net/be-for-yourself/

Hope that helps.

[Vicky67]

Well, regarding the cue sheets, I don't think I've made good use of the first one! I found myself ticking boxes or giving one or two word entries. I'm guessing that I'll get more value from the exercise by taking more care to reflect on how I've brought the exercise to bear on my day's experience & writing a (will-have-to-be-given-space) short entry. This is going to help 'hard-wire' those new neural pathways...

That said, I have used the cue sheet as a 'prompt'; anything - video, app, book, forum, cue sheet... - to keep the week's goal in my conscious toolkit. I've also shared its theme with some friends (we share affirmations), turning it into an active affirmation.

I have liked the extended focus on the goal and practising feeling/visualising being on my side, even when I've had no pressing need to act on it.

[FeeHutch]

I am using them in the same way so it sounds like a very good way to use them to me

[Steve]

I've managed to get mobile internet access on my laptop so i am back in the online world

"Being for myself" is what we are concentrating on this week. It has been interesting reading the chapter, the suggestions RH makes, the cue sheets and all the comments on here so far. As the introduction to the book suggests, for many of us it may be best to select one or two simple ideas that seem particularly meaningful to us individually for reminding ourselves to be on our own side and to help us do this. For me, the most useful point have been to to stand up for myself (both physically standing tall and strong and emotionally by not letting criticism from others knock me down - or at least not for long). Linked with this is thinking about how a best friend would support me if they were aware of things that happen to me and realising that I can be my own best friend. So, if I am hurt by someone's comments, rather than adopting a victim role and going off in a sulk, I reflect on the situation (like sharing it with a friend) off myself support and sympathy and advise myself to stand back up, feel the hurt and then as best I can let it go. Hope this makes sense to others!

Steve

PS I don't seem to have been getting email alerts for this new thread (probably because this is my first post in this thread). I will therefore put a post in the initial thread to direct those who rely on email alerts (rather than browsing the boards) to this new thread.

[Christobel]

I am finding this very hard and it is only the first week!
As a therapist/mother/carer, I spend most of my life caring/thinking of others.
This year things need to change!

The Cue Sheet quotes letting your own sorrows, needs and dreams matter to you.
? One question I have regarding meditation -
being mindful can mean letting go of desires and being free of ego.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[JonW]

"Being mindful can mean letting go of desires and being free of ego.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?"
To my mind, it's not so much about letting go of desires and being free of ego, but rather being less attached to those things. Desires will always arise. The ego (the self) is inescapable. It's a question of how we relate to those things.
Mindfulness teaches us that, with practice, we can create a spaciousness around desire and ego, much like we can create a spaciousness around thoughts.
The key is practice.
All best, Jon

[Christobel]

Thank you.
A spaciousness - sounds good.
And observing how procrastination limits that spaciousness.

[FeeHutch]

Thats a good way to put it Jon. I also think of that space as meaning I don't have to instantly react to or accept thoughts as fact. I think a lot of my difficulties have sprung from often responding with a knee jerk reaction that was very easily triggered.