Lovingkindness

[Cheesus]

Hey folks,

I noticed recent discussion which articulated the parameters of discussion on the forum. In this discussion Jon and and pied essentially reiterated what has been said before about the forum principally being confined to discussions of MBSR.

With this in mind, I was wondering what the general feeling is about lovingkindness meditation? I am one of those who has used mindfulness as a springboard into an interest in Buddhism, and lovingkindness is as important in my meditative practice and spiritual philosophy as mindfulness. Do others practice lovingkindness? Is it okay to discuss it here on the forum? Mindfulness itself is imbued with an implicit practice of lovingkindness, so where does the actual practice of lovingkindness itself stand in relation to the forum and/or MBSR?

Hope you guys had a nice christmas and new year
Alex

[piedwagtail91]

i don't know , but i'll put my neck in the noose and say yes i use it a lot.
someone sneaked it into a mbsr/mbct day retreat a few months ago.
it was the first 'live' one i've ever been in, made my day, not too sure what the others thought!
good job it was silent
it didn't make me think of buddhism as it did with the others, i just got as far as thinking of kristin neff and her version.
i did a lot of compassion therapy after mindfulness so i switch between the two all the time.
i use whatever i feel is best for me.
not sure if it should be on the forum but at least this is in experienced and not beginners!
it is implied in mbct though not mentioned by name from what i've seen.
i did sneak a few minutes of it into a meditation i led on a day of mindfulness mid course and it went down well, though i got moved to leading kindness and acceptance for the next one!!
which to be honest is roundabout the same without the metta.
our course doesn't use it though the mark williams cd does have a track .
whether this makes it ok i've no idea.
mick

[JonW]

Hi Alex.
Lovingkindness meditation was referred to and practiced on the 8-week course I took and, if memory serves, Kabat-Zinn discusses it in some of his books. So it would appear to be an accepted part of mindfulness practice.
Cheers, JW

[piedwagtail91]

thanks jon.
i know some people can really struggle with loving kindness or any form of kindness after spending most of their life beating themselves up for what's really no good reason.
if it had been in my course i wouldn't have coped , it took me around 12 months to be able to practice it.
i think experienced practitioners is the right place for it, then those new to mindfulness don't find it confusing if it's not part of their course.

[FeeHutch]

Yep lovingkindness was part of the 8 week course I followed too and is a fundamental part of my practice. it was a lack of lovingkindness towards myself that directly lead to so many of the things I struggled with. It also forms a part of week 1 of JOT too I think.

My interest in mindfulness has lead me to investigate more about Buddhism too but it is something I keep away from the forum. Partly because I have no clear thoughts on it yet and partly because I don't want to confuse the issue

[Gareth]

I think that all polite and respectful discussion is welcome on this forum.

I confess to knowing nothing about lovingkindness. I am aware of it's existence; is it called metta?

[Cheesus]

Oh that sounds cool. I had no idea it was so common in MBSR. I don't recall exactly when I came across it but I think it was in the context of my interest in buddhism rather than via mindfulness directly.

Gareth, it is indeed known as metta. It is one of the four brahmaviharas (A.K.A divine states, sublime attitudes or, my favourite, heavenly abodes) in buddhism. The others being compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.

As I've mentioned elsewhere on the forum, I don't see it as separate to mindfulness as the two directly compliment and reinforce each other. I also love to spread the love, so I wholeheartedly encourage you to check out Sharon Salzberg's book Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. Salzberg is a buddhist but, as with buddhism in general, it can easily be transferred to a secular practice. It really has opened up my meditative practice immeasurably. It's also enabled me to offer myself kindness and compassion in the darkest moments of my illness.

If I carry on this way I'm gonna have to start charging Salzberg

Alex

[piedwagtail91]

for me it's just blends into my mindfulness.
to be honest i do wonder if we'll end up practicing mindful self compassion, the one kristin neff and christopher germer have developed in america and now seem to be taking around the world.
strange this has just come up.
my mentor has suggested i put self compassion/ loving kindness links on our resource page, so that those from the mindfulness course can check it out! ( and sent me a load of links to check out for suitability.)

[Enigma]

Loving-kindness is a foundational part of the mindfulness I practice. Its inclusion in the MBSR program speaks volumes for its efficacy as a stress-relieving practice.

As alluded to by others in this thread, however, it can be a struggle for some people to cultivate loving-kindness for themselves given extensive negative conditioning via self-criticism. Nonetheless, it is definitely a worthwhile practice for boosting everyday mindfulness, speaking from personal experience.