Just want to say Hi !

[JonW]

"But I also feel - the first time in my life - that I found a way to see all my emotions without surpressing them.'
That's great to hear Susi. Sounds like a true mindfulness breakthrough, right there.
As for the bubbles, do remember that big bubbles are as easy to "pop" as small bubbles. Big ones and small ones have the same power and that power is illusory. Our thoughts only have power over us if we believe them. And, as the mighty Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds us, thoughts are mere secretions of the mind. There's nothing solid about them at all. They arise and they disappear, just like bubbles blown from a child's bottle. Once we learn to stop fighting them/pushing them away and start to gently observe them/accept them (without getting tangled up in them), we gradually get into the habit of not feeling overpowered by them. That makes for a far more peaceful way of living.
Recommended reading:
Coming To Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
At Home In The Muddy Water by Ezra Bayda
Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck
Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Richard Gilpin: Mindfulness For Black Dogs & Blue Days

[BioSattva]

Especially emotions are still difficult for me. @Bio: I like the picture of the bubble. But my bubbels seem to be so big.

For example: I feel sadness. I try to just see it, be with it. While doing so I'm getting afraid that the sadness will overwhelm me (because of my experience of depression), so I try to be with sadness AND fear. Then I notice I get very anxieous. So I try to be with sadness, fear, anxiety....

Too many bubbels . It is still much fighting going on there.
Sometimes I feel like some artist who tries to keep many balls in the air...

But I also feel -the first time in my life- that I found a way to see all my emotinons without surpressing them: the Full catastrophy . I'm so thankfull

I think your situation is something that needs a lot of support from a professional. I have my own ideas, but they are from my own partial experience on the topic.

The space one gets from just noticing gives one the chance to make more decisions about how one is going to feel. It's like being in a tough yoga stretch - there is a choice - to either say "Ouch, I hate this" and tense up even more and trigger more discomfort, or say "relax like a tight lotus bud opening" and allow the body to move away from reacting to the tension and into a more accepting and peaceful state.

[BioSattva]

Brilliant, Bio. Made me roar with laughter. Jon Kabat-Zinn never quite put it like that.

I'm glad it amused.

[Susi]

Thanks so much for your ideas.
I started to focus on my emotions during the day and try to notice (and accept) even the tiny ones.

I did much "thinking and working with the past" (Selfexperience ? - don't know the word in english) in my life. Psychotherapy and -as I am a Familie therapist myself- a lot exploring in my education. I think I could write a whole book about WHY I feel like I feel, and why I have the urge to keep emotions at bay ect. It's perfectly clear for me .

But with mindfulnes it's the first time someone "showed" me what to DO with these emotions.

Thanks for the book list.
I am reading "Everyday Zen" and the "Wild elephant". I found both books in the forum and I Love them. Especially everyday Zen.

Have a nice mindful day

Susi

Ps: On Sunday we will have our mindful day....completly in silence. I am a bit scared....

[BioSattva]

I am reading "Everyday Zen" and the "Wild elephant". I found both books in the forum and I Love them. Especially everyday Zen.

One of my all-time favs - I find myself coming back to "It's OK" time and time again in my practice - I say it to myself (in my mind of course) when I notice my mind has wandered and I return to the anchor.

[Susi]

Today is the big day: mindfulness day - I'm exited

[FeeHutch]

Let us know how you get on, to quote Depeche Mode, enjoy the silence

[Susi]

Mindfulnes day was some kind of strange: In the beginning I had loads of thoughts: "Am I doing right" "Will I manage the day.....". Around lunchtime I came to myself and then I felt really slowed down. When we could talk again, I had absolutly no desire to talk.

But when I was back at home I felt full of energy. I walked with the dog, cleaned the kitchen, did some laundry.....

It felt like experience of two engergies.....really slow and really active....

(I Hope you understand a singel word: It's really difficult in English for me )

[FeeHutch]

Yes you describe it really well

[Cheesus]

Hi Susi

I am currently working through a lot of health difficulties, both mental and physical. I have found that Metta (lovingkindness) meditation has been a very powerful accompaniment to mindfulness. When I practise Metta in addition to mindfulness, I begin to see that all the parts of me that are in pain are actually in need of my care. I slowly came to realise that I had been scalding and pushing away all those painful aspects, even when practising mindfulness. However, through Metta I have come to see these bits of me as I would a crying child: I want the pain to go away, but I will do it through lovingkindness rather than frustration and resistance.

If you're interested in Metta, check out a book by Sharon Salzberg called Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

Cheesus