quality of meditation

[Cheesus]

Hi Folks

Does anyone else notice that the quality of their meditation goes through phases? For perhaps 3 or 4 days, for instance, I will find that my meditation might be quite deep, relaxed and centred. Following that, I find that I might be quite distracted and continuously have to drag my attention back to my anchor. Yet again, another phase might pop up whereby I can concentrate fairly well but I notice a bubbling of tension and anxiety rather than relaxation.

I am not making a complaint, of course, as I know it is all just part of the practice. I was just curious if anyone has made similar observations in their own practice?

I guess it is a reflexive response to the ongoings in your day/week, however I also like to think of it as the mind slowly having a good clear out. It's like practice is slowly unclogging the backed-up drain that is my mind

[JonW]

Hi Cheesus.
I think of it more like "checking in with myself" than "having a good clear out".
Also, I think of my meditations as being different from day to day rather than assessing their quality, which might lead one into judgmental thoughts ("Hmm. That meditation wasn't so good today.")
I never know how it's going to go until I sit. There are times when I feel quite calm. Then I sit and I realise that my mind is all over the place. Other times I feel tense. Then I sit and enjoy a very relaxed meditation.
It's all OK because it's all what is happening to me at that particular time, that particular moment.
There might be good jazz (most stuff up to 1969) and there might be bad jazz (most stuff after '69 although Miles did some good things in the 70s). But there's no such thing as a good meditation and a bad meditation. There's just meditation. No goal to reach. No judgements to make. Just what is.
Whereas, in jazz, fusion is just a terrible din.

[Cheesus]

Haha, as a young whipper-snapper I'll have to take your word on the state of post-1969 Jazz

I didn't mean quality as in 'this one is good, this one is bad'. I meant quality as in the qualities it possesses. I tend to notice a pattern occurring over time to the certain qualities. No meditation is just like the last, but these two are likely to be more similar than to a couple I did last week. Do you get my meaning?

[FeeHutch]

Jon, you made me think of this

Nice

I have got to a point in my practice where I feel more at ease with the fact that in the same way no moment is ever repeated neither is any meditation. I struggled for a while after finishing the initial 8 week course because I felt like I wasn't focusing as 'easily' or 'well' as I had done. This experience was valuable because over time I could see that I was striving and that was making me anxious and unhappy.

I also realised that sometimes the quality of the meditations I thought were somehow unsuccessful was just the opposite. I was actually aware very vividly of what I was feeling and experiencing. When I was experiencing calm the meditation felt calm but if I was anxious, angry or sad I was experiencing and paying attention to those feelings.

[JonW]

Avoid pretty much any jazz after '69. Miles' In A Silent Way is, for my money, the last truly great jazz album. Very meditative, as it happens.
Thanks for the pic of John Thompson, Fee!
I do get your meaning, Cheesus. Every meditation seems to have its own "qualities". I guess I was reflecting on some posts that have appeared in the beginners section where some people have struggled at first with the idea that, say, Monday's meditation was more like a tranquil pond and Tuesday's would be a cause for the lifeboat men to be drafted in.
As Ed Halliwell discusses in my interview with him (see main forum), Kabat-Zinn recommends 45 minutes per day during the 8-week course as he feels it's important for people to stick with a meditation when boredom, frustration or plain physical pain kick in. There's something particularly satisfying about a meditation that starts off all choppy and relaxes into itself so that, by the end, the anxiety is all but forgotten.
I'm heading off to Detroit this week so I'm going to attempt to meditate on a plane for the first time. I'll let you know how I get on.
Have a lovely Sunday,
Cheers, Jon

[FeeHutch]

Safe travels Jon

[Cheesus]

You might irritate a few air hostesses as they bump up against you sitting cross legged in the aisle

[rara]

The universe is forever changing. The moment you have right now is already in the past. Did you see that? Gone in a flash!

Things will come and go that will affect "you" all the time. If it happens (and you notice it's not quite what you had in mind) then oh well.

The fact that you "know yourself" is the important part.

[rara]

No meditation is just like the last, but these two are likely to be more similar than to a couple I did last week. Do you get my meaning?

Oh, and why compare to the last? Whatever happened in the past is irrelevant. If you focus on the past, all you have is expectations for the future. And if you don't meet those expectations, you'll feel disappointment.

[rara]

I'm heading off to Detroit this week so I'm going to attempt to meditate on a plane for the first time. I'll let you know how I get on.
Have a lovely Sunday,
Cheers, Jon

Last time I went on a plane, I did this on take off. I visualised actually being outside the plane and watching it from there. My "fear" of heights wasn't there that day, funnily enough