Staying 'motivated'

[Vixine]

I was just looking at the Paleo diet post where it was being discussed this change that happens after you meditate regularly for a while, that is becomes integrated into your life more and that the changes are really profound. I wish I could understand this more. I've started and stopped meditation several times but have never gotten that far and I feel myself losing a little motivation right now, only about 4 weeks into regular daily practice and only the 2nd week of the mindfulness program.

I think for me it is kind of like running. For years I wanted to run and I would try, but would never commit enough to get over the hump of running longer than about 30 minutes... once I did, I found that I could continue to add miles each week and ended up running several half marathons. It just took sticking with it at first through the pain.

Not that meditation is painful, but I am starting to struggle with these feelings like "it's not working" or "I'm not actually doing it" even though I know, intellectually, that this is not helpful or true.

I guess I'm just hoping that someone might share a little insight about this. I want to ask how long it's going to get me to the profound effects of mindfulness, but I know that is just more striving. It is so difficult not to be striving for something and still motivate yourself to do it daily. I am trying to keep myself on track just by making it a habit for now, hoping that at some point it will not be just a habit and something on my to-do list, but a way of life... I am not there yet.

[Steve]

Vixine

I have meditated on and off for a number of years, usually returning to it when life's difficulties flare up again.

I liked the idea of having a 'meditation buddy' to provide moral support and to help encourage each other to practice. One way I have pursued this is via the 'How to train an elephant book ' (see topic under same name). This has provided a regular weekly task and the opportunity to share this with one or more people on here.

I have managed to sit to meditate at least a few minutes every day this year and this is at least partly due to the above. I haven't had any 'profound' experience (possibly partly because I do not have any serious physical or mental issues) but, nevertheless, I am able to cope better with my ongoing life problems better than I would otherwise (which is particularly true at the moment ). Meditation provides me with a little source of stability, a quiet place separate from all the issues. Maybe it will provide more in due course but I think I have got past the desire to 'strive' for this.

I think the analogy with getting and maintaining physical fitness or learning to play an instrument by practice, practice, practice are both good. Again this can be hard on your own but is easier when shared in some way with others.

Hope this helps a bit.

Steve

[Gareth]

Mindfulness brings such a clarity to my life and my decision making that I find it difficult not to meditate. I begin to notice when my mind is slipping too much into the past or future, and I recognise the need to meditate. It's rare that I don't manage a half hour meditation in the day, but it's not somethink I really think about any more. It's just a case of: "I don't have anything to do in the next half an hour let's meditate."

Also, as you get further into the practice, the line between formal and informal becomes increasingly blurred. It get's much easier to practice informally, and I find myself practising informally many times in a day. For example I might be looking after my son for an hour, and during that time I try hard to notice thoughts and let them go, returning to play games with him. This informal practice gets piled upon your informal practice, and this really does become a way of being.

[FeeHutch]

What keeps me motivated is the thought that I don't have to go anywhere, do anything I can just take a few moments right here. I might be waiting for the kids to come out of school, in a lift, on a bus and I can take a mindful moment.

I find the thread Steve mentions motivates me too. I feel we have both made a commitment and don't even question the fact that I will find some time every Sunday to reflect on the weeks tasks and share my thoughts. I really look forward to reading how Steve has got on and looking to see if anyone else has shared their thoughts. This weeks task of taking moments through the day to rest and feel our hands is a great example of fitting in mindful moments easily.

Sometimes I do invest more time in my formal practice. I'll ask my husband to give me some time (which means he will play with the girls and try and stop them coming in to chat), I'll spend a few moments deciding whether to sit, lay or use my meditation stool. I'll turn my mobile off, I might light some incense and use a timer to allow me to fully relax and not find the thought of how long I have been meditating becoming to intrusive. I do it because I find the more consistent the formal practice, the easier I find it to be mindful the rest of the time.

I think the way you used running as an example is really apt. I am going to put up posts for each week of the program in Finding Peace In A Frantic World , hopefully in the next few days. If you are on week or starting week 3 at that point maybe those threads, if you want to read or contribute to them, will feel like a useful way to motivate yourself or help embed your practice?

[Vixine]

Thanks for your replies - Steve, I think having a buddy is a good idea - I didn't think to try to get a buddy for my program, but having some support in general is why I joined this forum.

Gareth, what you describe is where I hope I will get with mindfulness practice. I think I will. (Now I'm thinking this is striving... but that is good striving, I think?) For now I have to continue to develop that habit.

Fee- I think that would be great to have some threads specific to the weekly program I'm doing. It would be nice to have a specific place to talk about the week's tasks, like you guys are doing on the elephant thread.

Even though I'm a little nervous about losing motivation to stay regular about it, I am actually noticing some insights I have gained already just a month in. I am more aware of the types of activities I sometimes participate in that are not nourishing for me, and making a decision to cut down on those things. I also am starting to understand some of the common places I get caught in my thinking and specifically the thoughts that are very enticing for me, and that I seem to not want to let go of. This does feel like it's going in the right direction.

[JonW]

"Mindfulness brings such a clarity to my life and my decision making that I find it difficult not to meditate."

Yes, that's exactly how I feel about it.
I started to explore mindfulness last December and I'm comfortable saying that it has had a profound effect on my life.
I feel that my daily practice is key. Working from home and living alone probably gives me an advantage in that I can meditate whenever I feel like doing so. I was also lucky to find a course in Brighton almost as soon as I started reading about mindfulness and following guided meditations. I really lucked out with the teacher too - Nick Diggins was the perfect teacher for me.
I think Fee's idea of returning to the start of the course is an excellent one for anyone who is finding meditation to be a challenge.
One other idea to consider is starting a meet-up group in your area. I've been running one for a couple of months now, with 37 members already joined up - not that they all attend the meet-ups. It's a great way to meet like-minded people, swap ideas, and remain encouraged. Or maybe there's a similar group already operating in your area.
http://www.meetup.com/find/
Wishing you all the best, as always,
Jon

[Vixine]

Thanks Jon. I saw in the other thread that some are going to start the 8-week course on Sunday. Maybe that would be good for me to start it with you all. I have this hesitation about going backwards in some way. That is my darn striving again I think. I bet it would really be helpful to share and have that support. Will be kind of like a meetup group but I don't have to go anywhere!

[Steve]

I think I have overcome any 'striving' to get somewhere with mindfulness by instead simply seeing mindfulness as a way of being (quite literally) - as mentioned by Gareth (and JKZ). It's a simple as that (but not necessarily as easy as that!)

Steve