Fear of losing control

Post here if you are just starting out with your mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a really difficult concept to get your head around at first, and it might be that you would benefit from some help from others.
Magicmads
Posts: 3
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark.

Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:35 pm  

Hi Everybody,

Thanks for a great and informative forum. Many of the posts have been very helpful for me. I am quite new to mindfulness and got introduces to meditation due to my anxiety and OCD.

I have now been practicing mindfulness for a couple of weeks, and I have noticed a little stroke of anxiety every time I leave a thought and return to the breath or body scan. I think this is related to a fear of losing control, but I am not sure how to handle this? I would be grateful for any advice.

Light and kind regards Magicmads

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FeeHutch
Posts: 1010
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Mar 2012
Location: Steel City
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Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:08 pm  

Welcome to the community magicmeds.

I think changing the way we experience our thoughts can be challenging and even more so when you are also dealing with anxiety and ocd. Do you have anyone like a doctor, counsellor or mindfulness teacher supporting you?
“Being mindful means that we take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams

http://adlibbed.blogspot.co.uk/p/mindfulness-me-enjoy-silence.html
Find me on twitter - @feehutch

Magicmads
Posts: 3
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark.

Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:25 pm  

Hi Feehutch,

Yes, I am seeing a counselor, but we have not spoken about this problem. Right now I just notice and accept the small stroke, but it is difficult.

JonW
Team Member
Posts: 2897
Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:52 pm  

Hi Magicmads.
Welcome to a very friendly forum.
I would gently suggest practicing daily at your own sweet pace, not judging yourself if the meditation is in any way a challenge. A little anxiety is perfectly normal when leaving a thought and returning to breath or body scan. Even the master, Jon Kabat-Zinn, by his own admission, still experiences that anxiety. That's human.
It sounds to me that you are making great progress in mindfulness. The fact that you are noting your anxiety when returning to breath or body scan is mindfulness in motion. By noticing that little stroke, you are being mindful. From what I've learned already from the teachings of Kabat-Zinn, Mark Williams and others, those early steps are very sound foundations.
Jon leads the Everyday Mindfulness group meditation on Zoom every Monday/Friday, 6pm London-time. FREE.
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Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:47 am  

Hi Magicmads, welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you are doing really well with the start of your practice, because it seems to me like you are doing exactly the right thing. Just notice that spike in anxiety, allow it to be. When you are able, return to the focus of your meditation.

It takes time but eventually you will come to realise that this anxiety, these thoughts are not you. I think I read somewhere once that "you don't have to enjoy it, you just need to do it," that about sums it up really.

Magicmads
Posts: 3
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark.

Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:11 am  

Thanks for your reply Jon and Gareth. I’m grateful for your encouragement and knowledge.
I will continue my practice with an open mind and heart.

Light and Regards Magicmads

“There is no path, the path is made by walking.”

JonW
Team Member
Posts: 2897
Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:57 am  

"You don't have to enjoy it, you just need to do it."
Yes, that's what Jon Kabat-Zinn tells his patients at the stress clinic.
Jon leads the Everyday Mindfulness group meditation on Zoom every Monday/Friday, 6pm London-time. FREE.
Follow this link to join the WhatsApp group and receive notifications: https://chat.whatsapp.com/K5j5deTvIHVD7z71H3RIIk

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larorra
Posts: 152

Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:00 pm  

Hi Magicmads,

just try to stay with it and don't be put off, it takes time but the benefits are worth the perseverance. Might take awhile but you'll notice it subtly.
Jackie

You can find me on Twitter @larorra08

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Medway Tai Chi
Posts: 26

Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:45 pm  

Magicmads wrote: I think this is related to a fear of losing control, but I am not sure how to handle this? I would be grateful for any advice.


Would it help if I point out that 'control' is an illusion, and it's not something you've got, so you can't 'lose' it? :shock:
Free Tai Chi Classes in Kent ~ http://www.medwaytaichisociety.tk ~

~One must know the fundamentals to reveal the essence~

~Fears that never manifest can still drain our energy~

mindfulnessforall
Posts: 20
Practice Mindfulness Since: 05 Jun 2002
Location: London
Contact:

Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:37 pm  

Everyone has given great advice here - good to see so my supportive folk around : )

I'd say each time you notice the little stroke of anxiety, just bring a friendly curiosity to it. Where can you feel the anxiety in your body? Does it move around? Can you give it a shape or colour? Does it change in intensity? Be as precise as you can. If you notice the anxiety becomes more intense that's ok, you can always move away again.

If you feel uncomfortable focusing on your breath maybe try focusing on your feet or hands?

You could also try meditating with your eyes open and see how that goes. Something to remember is that you don't need to get rid of the anxiety. Experiment will letting it be there - maybe say 'here it is again, let me feel it' (JKZ tip : )

Play around and just notice what happens. The good news is that you are in control as far as you're a constant awareness witnessing the moment unfolding.

I hope that helps and give me a shout if anything doesn't make sense.

Best of luck and remember to be kind to yourself. There is no good or bad meditation....only what arises.

Andy : )
“Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804 – 1864)

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