How to Train an Elephant (book)

[Steve]

I've just bought this book and am looking forward to trying the practices (1 per week) it sets out. As recommended in the book, I'm looking for some mindfulness 'buddies' to provide mutual support, discussion etc to increase the benefit (and enjoyment) of the practices. I think it should be possible to do this perfectly well online.

Does anyone wish to join me in this? It would be great to get a small group of us sharing the practices.

I'm aiming to start the weekly process on Mon 31 Dec (although I couldn't resist starting the first a few days early: using your non-dominant hand instead of the other - cleaning your teeth with the other hand is quite messy and amusing!)

Steve

PS for those with ebook readers, you can download the ebook version for a few £s.

[FeeHutch]

I have just bought a copy on my kindle so I shall get reading and start tomorrow too.

Shall we try and post at the end of each week to update on how our weeks has gone, what we have noticed etc? If anyone else wants to join that would be great

[Steve]

Yes, that sounds good - or I'm happy to use email or whatever suits you.

Anyone else want to join in? I'm already learning how to brush my teeth left handed without ending up with toothpaste all over my face

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Happy New Year Everyone

Yes, I am having the same problem Steve I also have to keep remembering to eat left handed, I have a post it note in the bathroom to remind me then at least!

If we keep chatting here then hopefully others will join in, share their thoughts and experiences too. The book was very easy to get into and the section about mindfulness before the weekly chapters is quite short. I really feel hopeful that by committing to this for a year it will help fully cement my mindfulness practice.

[Steve]

Yes, remembering is a challenge - I remember when brushing teeth but not at other times of day. I wonder about putting a plaster on my hand - but then others will ask why!

So far, I have tried: brushing teeth, shaving, drinking tea, washing up, eating (with spoon/fork), spreading butter, putting in contact lenses, eating with chopsticks (just a couple of easy things) and writing a (very) short note. Any other ideas?

Even after a couple of days, some things are getting easier to do left-handed.

Practising mindfulness regularly is the biggest challenge. Like you, I hope this will help provide a focus to do it more regularly. I'm also hoping having a meditation 'buddy' will also provide encouragement.

Lets keep posting here, others can join in at any time.

Steve

[Steve]

Review of the first week (using non-dominant hand)

I found that I was quite clumsy using my left hand as it doesn't have the fine control or the strength of the right hand - sometimes this was amusing (brushing teeth) other times it was frustrating (when trying to get washing up done quickly). I am quite good at remembering to use left hand during morning routines (washing, shaving, eating breakfast etc) but tended to then forget for most of the rest of the day until coming back to a task like washing up (which seems to be a never ending task!).

There was a very noticeable temptation to switch hands and let the right hand takeover especially when in a hurry or due to desire to do a job properly. Sometimes I could resist this but other times i seem to be able to justify to myself a reason for giving in to the temptation.

My left hand skills improved over the week in some tasks, eg teeth cleaning, eating with left hand. i think it would be worth continuing to use left hand for things just for a bit of variety (and so I am more mindful rather than being on automatic pilot). I wonder if there is any advantage in doing some things left handed - eg if the left hand is controlled more by the right side of the brain.

Using my left hand makes me more appreciative of having the use of both hands and good motor skills - rather than taking this for granted. It also makes you realise that many things are set up to be more convenient for right handed people.

I noticed that when doing two-handed symmetrical tasks (like massaging shampoo into hair) both hands were equally capable.

What else have I learnt: I need more determination to keep practising things and not give in to temptation to fall back into the usual way of doing something. I need to find more ways of being mindful on more occasions during the day. I should accept (and even enjoy) starting at a low level of skill (like a child) and being willing to make the effort to keep practising to improve my skills. This is hard when you want to get on with things and/or are under time pressure. However, i wonder how much of this 'pressure' is a self induced attitude?

Next week its 'leaving no trace' - choosing a room in which you tidy up completely after use so it is the same as before you used it.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Hi Steve
Well, week 1 is done! I found using the none dominant hand a challenge.

Since my haemorrhage I have had weakness in the right side of my body and also have issues with very fine motor controls and I struggle sometimes to do things as it is. What I found was that actually there is less difference between my hands than I expected which was interesting for me.

The only things I really tried to mindfully swap hands for were brushing my teeth, cleaning my face and eating. I can't really write with my right hand now for example so I didn't try that. It was a very useful exercise for reminding me to be mindful and found it achieved that really well and I am going to continue practicing for that reason alone. Over many months of rehab I have worked a lot of accepting things taking longer, being harder and considered a lot the idea of rushing and self inflicted expectations. But this task has made me think about these things again and realise that unless I am more conscious of what I am doing it is still very easy to mindlessly go back to unhelpful thoughts.

So week 2 is leaving no trace. When I read this to start with I thought u-oh! I have 2 small daughters and they leave plenty of traces where ever they go! Then as I read on the suggestion to choose 1 room I thought, OK that is doable and also I love turtles and tortoises (since the hare and the tortoise turns out to be a very good metaphor for my life) so I have plenty of turtle pictures and models I can leave out to remind me this week. I am going to really challenge myself and go for leaving no trace in the kitchen this week. I really connect with the passage in the book about leaving things until we can't stand the mess anymore and then feeling angry about others not pulling their weight when I am not pulling mine either.

[Steve]

Sounds like you did well and you have good reason to practice being able to use either hand for a given task. I found it surprising how fast the 'other' hand can learn how to do thinks OK. Yes, it take practice as well as an acceptance that it is a gradual process, but progress is a lot faster than it is for a toddler.

I try to persuade myself to do things one at a time, slowly and well rather than trying to rush several things at once and not really concentrating on any of them (very unmindful!). One of my favourite quotes is "Smile, breathe and go slowly.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh. Doing things left handed is one way of forcing myself to slow down.

Next week will be another interesting challenge. We have stuff everywhere and struggle to just keep a space clear to do stuff in, particularly the kitchen. Trying to keep most rooms tidy would require a major sort out (and co-operation from rest of family). I therefore plan to start with a small area - my bedroom. I aim to get this tidy and to keep it that way so that it remains a haven of peace and tranquillity - and no clutter - it can then double as a quiet, calm and tidy refuge I can meditate in. I'll have to hunt out a turtle!

Steve

[Steve]

Progress report on week 2 so far (leave no trace)

I've tidied my room and made my bed and folded my clothes each day. This has made my room a nicer place to meditate in after I've had my morning shower - a good start to the day. It's also made me think about what other tasks I leave unfinished (like filing paperwork, completing one job before moving on to the next, tidying up one file on my desk before moving on the the next and not having a pile of unfinished items mounting up in the corner).

I spotted a book on procrastination in the library and that seemed to fit with this weeks theme (finishing or at least 'tidying up' each task before moving on to the next and not putting off all those little things that build up to stress me out).

Its strange but I am feeling calmer and more organised this week - a tidy environment helps the mind feel tidy too.

Steve

PS I'm still cleaning my teeth and doing the washing up left-handed from last week!

[FeeHutch]

I am struggling more this week, maybe trying to leave no trace in the kitchen was too optimistic!

Like you Steve I am still trying to use my none dominant hand when I remember too and I will carry on trying to be mindful of how I leave any space from now on as well. I've not read what week 3 will bring yet