Hello Everyone!

[BronteFan]

Great stuff, Ann.
It sounds like your practice is flourishing.

Thank you very much, Jon.

I really enjoyed myself. I've always loved painting as I find it relaxing. I tried the art side of mindfulness before through the mindfulness colouring books but don't like the uneven patterns that are often in them as they send my eyes crazy & I have no patience to sit & colour. I didn't realise until I went on the course that I was allowed to paint. The fact that I can add writing positive poetry to my practise makes it even better. I've got to finish my book off yet but I can do it in my own time & I know how to make another 1. He said we can make gratitude journals & poetry books the same way. (I guess I'm just a creative person.)

[BronteFan]

Time for more of my story.

I felt the need to explain why I was bullied because some people think that if you've been bullied you're a soft touch which isn't always the case. Sometimes the victim has done all they can to stop it. It isn't always the victim's fault.

I was born with 1 eye weaker than the other & had squint surgery as a child. This doesn't affect my reading when I've got the right spectacles except for when I exhaust myself then I miss things or can't read properly. This makes me feel bad because although I know I'm normally a very good reader I feel bad about myself. My optician is amazed I can see 3D. films & optical illusions properly due to the fact 1 of my eyes does so much more work than the other. (I get head-ache though.) My eye problems affect my co-ordination.

I think I was born in the wrong part of the U.K. Most of my ancestors were from Dunoon in the Highlands of Scotland. I was born in West Yorkshire. I've got Scots Highlander's hair which is much thicker & curlier than English hair & I get picked on about it although I like my hair. I feel as though I fit in, in Scotland more than where I live as I'm accepted more there. I can't even say cheers when I'm there. I've got to say "Slainte mhath" which means good health. I've been mistaken for a local & asked what time buses are due. Then I've said "I don't know. I'll look for you." After that I got told I should think not with that accent but you look like a local with that hair. I've also had a weird experience. I got asked what a blue plaque outside a hotel in Tarbet meant. It was only written in Scots Gaelic & I read it although I don't know Scots Gaelic. I must have translated it right as I got Glaswegian coach drivers saying "I didn't know you spoke Scots Gaelic." I replied with "I didn't either."

I liked & was good at everything everyone hated & was bad at & I hated & was bad at what everyone else was good at, at school so I was bullied for that reason. I was also called French freak because I never got more than 5 questions wrong in French exams. I later found out that I've got 1 lot of Norman-French ancestors which would explain it.

I got picked on in music because I always got put as lead-singer & when we learnt song-writing my songs were always chosen. The instrumentalists hit me at the back of the head with their musical instruments.

While I was at school I used my book as a refuge & it helped me a great deal especially after the 1st time I read Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre" because some things which were written in Jane Eyre expressed how I felt so I realised that I wasn't alone & other people had been through what I'd been through. Chapter 8 of Jane Eyre really expressed how I felt sometimes. This chapter starts with "Why was I always brow-beaten, forever condemned?".

At work I used music as a refuge & singing really helped me feel better. I also found writing helps me a great deal. Poetry, song & story-writing help most. I find painting helps me a lot too.

I got bullied & harassed at work for being as capable as the managers. The bullying & harassment at work was that bad I felt as if I didn't want to be anywhere anymore. That's how my anxiety & depression started & I had to take time out as I didn't feel comfortable with manager's anymore & I physically shook every time a manager approached me. I was worried about what they were going to say or do as I was accused of making mistakes I knew I'd never made & when I asked for proof they got onto me & even put me on a disciplinary saying I had a bad attitude because I wanted to see evidence that I'd made the mistakes they said I'd made. I'm normally someone who notices my mistakes as soon as I make them or shortly afterwards & will admit to them & rectify them.

I thought I'd never get over my anxiety & depression until someone suggested I try mindfulness. Since then I've been depression-free for 7 months except the odd day here & there.

[BronteFan]

I got out of the habit of practising mindfulness as I've been on a scheme to help me answer awkward questions like why did you leave your last job & why have you got gaps in your employment & they set me homework where I had to fill in American forms & do American tests which were very hard as I've got British qualifications not American ones & I don't know how the American money system works & I've just been trying to get my home-work done as well as looking for another job so I haven't had time. I got a head-ache 3 days in 1 week trying to do this home-work. I also got very upset & called myself names.

[BronteFan]

Last week I had an interview for a job in heritage preservation which I'm very passionate about. I only started on Monday in fund-raising but I love it already. Everyone is lovely. I've been told I've got to learn quilting & at 1 point in time crochet so I can both do it & teach it. I'm learning archiving tomorrow & I'm really looking forward to it as it sounds fascinating. I haven't felt this confident for ages. Heritage preservation appears to be boosting my confidence more than confidence-building classes did.

I guess going into the arts & crafts side of mindfulness will help me get back on track with it as arts & crafts are part of my role. For the time being I'm hat-making, embroidering & weaving for the craft side of my role.

[JonW]

That's great news, Ann.
Well done!

[BronteFan]

That's great news, Ann.
Well done!

Thank you very much, Jon.

[Peter]

That's really great, Ann. Thanks for sharing!

[BronteFan]

That's really great, Ann. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you very much, Peter.

[BronteFan]

I'm losing weight & loving my new job. I've managed to fit the arts & crafts side of mindfulness into my schedule but haven't managed to fit any meditation in because I've just been so busy. I've been teaching people how to make arts & do old arts & crafts as well as working in the craft shop at work, archiving, reading up on archiving as I've got to help give a presentation on it in 2 weeks time, working on the museum-floor, planning songs & typing hand-outs for a 1940's sing-song I had to conduct on a 1940's day at work, teaching primary-school children about life in the 1940's, doing pottery, marbling & glass-painting classes at work as well as art-history & quilting classes & I've got a scarf to knit for Xmas. It's fun & fascinating but can be rather full-on at times. During my archiving training meeting I had to read 1000 pages while listening to what was said & joining in. (My average reading speed is 100 pages a day.) I'm loving it but sometimes I come home exhausted & just drop to sleep.

[JonW]

Hi Ann,
Great to hear that things are going well for you.
Maybe ease yourself back into meditation practice with a five minute sit every day and build up from there.
Let us know how you get on.
All good things,
Jon