Hello Everyone!

[Peter]

Thanks for your story, Ann. You obviously had a difficult time. Great to see that mindfulness has been of much help to you. Since you've talked about school a few times, my guess is that you might be quite young. Is this true?

[BronteFan]

You're welcome, Peter. I did have a hard time & mindfulness helped me a great deal. Thank you very much. Not really. I just have a good memory & know that that's where things stemmed from as well as how things have affected me. I'm 37.

[JonW]

37 is very young from where I'm standing.
Jon (57 1/2)

[BronteFan]

37 is middle-aged to me. Very young to quite young is 0-25 in my books but as this is a topic which has no solid right answer & no solid wrong answers (within reason of course) everyone has a different opinion which they're entitled to have & air as long as they respect other people's rights to do the same & show that respect in the way they express their opinion. I can see where you think 37 is very young relative to your reference point due to what we've said but we could get into a very long & complex conversation if relativity comes into the equation properly. We only understand what is going on in the world around us due to what's going on in our heads & we all see things relative to our own reference points. Relativity is relatively speaking always relevant to the conversation though. Lol. :0)

[BronteFan]

I've had a brilliant day today. The sun was shining & I've really enjoyed myself. I've done what I needed to do & got a lot of reading done too.

I'm very sorry for the recent rants, guys. I was just telling the truth & explained myself too much because I felt the need to explain fully instead of keeping things succinct. I've been venting poetically recently but as I couldn't rhyme spontaneously like I normally do & don't really like blank verse, everything just came out like a big, unstructured rant. Mind you, I've realised recently that my poetic rants end up like songs & as the line-lengths are uneven I'd need to work out key/note/word holds. When I'm in my dreamy & imaginative state my poems come out with even line-lengths. I didn't make clear the main point I was trying to make which is the main 1 everyone is interested in here. That point is that although I'd tried everything before exploring mindfulness & that different methods had differing results for me, it was mindfulness that got the best results & moved me from moderate-severe depression to normal in 4 months which I got told is amazing. I got told I shouldn't have seen results that quickly. I've only had a couple of relapses since which were caused by me noticing I wasn't even 1/2 as sensitive as I used to be & taking advantage of that fact but over-doing it. As I'd been depressed for so long I had to look through books I got & take & rate the depression tests to see whether I'd gone back into depression so I knew whether I needed to get help or not. I got the result "These ups & downs are considered normal" which I'm pleased about as it means I can get back on track myself as I've got all the paperwork & books & other resources available & don't have to answer initial assessment questions which you get when you ask for help as I find them patronising & all the help available is guided self-help anyway so if I'm going to be helping myself & I've got paperwork & books at home & I know what works for me & what websites are used I may as well help myself. I need to carry on doing what I am doing but learn to go slow, pace myself & give myself a break so I'm not pushing myself too far too soon & I keep the momentum going instead of doing very well, enjoying myself, feeling much better, upsetting & exhausting myself & starting all over again. I can do it.

The songs "Top of the world" by the Carpenters & "Wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong explain how I felt today.

[JonW]

For long-term sufferers of depression, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy For Depression by Segal, Williams and Teasdale is highly recommended. A wonderful book.
Cheers,
Jon

[BronteFan]

Thank you very much for the recommendation. I'll see if I can get my hands on a copy in case of a relapse.

I got over my anxiety & depression 7 months ago now although I've had a couple of slight relapses caused by me trying to get too far too soon. I've just signed up for a scheme for highly sensitive people to build their confidence & get them back to normal. I had my initial assessment today & I managed to stop myself from crying while discussing my circumstances although I got flustered. From the information I've been given to read through it seems to be just what I need. I've got another appointment next week for an action plan to be drawn up.

Ann.

[BronteFan]

I'm very sorry, guys. I expressed how I felt & why & I'm sure that many people have felt the same way as me including some people who didn't go for the help they needed because they knew that's how they'd have been seen. However, I realise that I didn't have to justify myself & be so defensive. I also realise that my comments could have been misconstrued & I could have been seen as critical & judgemental of anxious & depressed people as well as the people who help them which wasn't my intention at all & I didn't mean to be critical or judgemental. I realise that they're there to help. I personally fought against being labelled & some of the questions I got asked. I'd only accept help if either forced or being referred to as having emotional difficulties which I found easier to accept than being labelled mentally ill & I admitted to that. At the time I thought "how on earth are you going to make me feel better about myself when labelling me that way? & I've been through all this & just because I'm suffering from emotional difficulties now I'm off my head". I realise now that the questions I objected to are what everyone is asked because some people do hear voices other than when speaking or listening to someone, listening to music or watching T.V., some people have memory & concentration problems & some people have problems reading & writing. There are anxious & depressed people who don't know why they're that way. Everyone has their story. The way society sees things makes things hard for some people though. Most of society but not all see mentally ill people as totally off their heads which isn't completely true. Creative people are more susceptible to these conditions. Very intelligent people with mental health conditions include Albert Einstein, Charlotte Bronte, Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens & John Nash. I wouldn't even begin to be able to do what these people did. I'm very sorry I was out of order.

[BronteFan]

I went on a 4 hr. mindfulness course yesterday which consisted of meditation, breathing exercises & making a hush journal. I had a good time. It was fun. I loved painting on the back of card shapes with negative thoughts on so they could no longer be seen & writing positive poems about what I love on the pages surrounding them. (I could have just written about things I loved or was grateful for normally but I was thinking in rhyme yesterday so I wrote about things I love poetically.) I love painting & find it relaxing.

[JonW]

Great stuff, Ann.
It sounds like your practice is flourishing.