Starting to do meditation again but still have troubles with the randomness of thought

[JonW]

Yes. I agree with Peter. Good advice.
All best,
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

Yes. I agree with Peter. Good advice.
All best,
Jon

Not going to lie...but a bit disappointed about this haha. I can understand where you and peter are coming from in finding a practice that will be enjoyable – but unfortunately there are not many things that I find enjoyable because of my depression. So I kinda accepted for now that a lot of things will not be enjoyable including these meditations.

What I do experience in my last few meditations that I can get pretty decent amounts of not being in thought which is of course a good sign. but at the same time I feel like I’m also a bit disappointed in those sessions that I do not feel better while I’m mindful.

[Matt Y]

There's a saying: "Mindfulness is not about feeling better. It's about getting better at feeling."
It's a bit cryptic, but there's wisdom in those words.
They suggest that there's a certain cruelty in trying to feel better — because the effort to feel better denies the reality of how you are feeling in the moment.
Perhaps trying to feel better is the problem?
It seems you came to this conclusion yourself Spikey? I would agree that accepting your depression may be the path to take, rather than fighting with it, which can be exhausting.

In my experience, there's a wisdom even in these intense discomforting emotions; so it pays to give them some respect.
Any form of sadness (including depression) asks us to slow down and take stock, to reflect on our values and behaviours and to let go of those things that aren't working.

Anyway, I hope there's something of value in these words.