Do we choose our thoughts?

[JonW]

...'it feels as if I'm played out automatically as the negative patterns.'

Those patterns are deeply etched in behaviour. As much as anything, mindfulness enables those habitual patterns to be undone. The first step involves the acceptance of what you are experiencing right now - good, bad or indifferent. We can only be mindful in the moment. Wishing the moment away is not going to help. Set aside thoughts about how you want to feel in the future - an hour from now, a week from now, a year from now...and be with what is arising right now. That is what we are practicing when we sit or do a body scan.
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

Thanks john, I hope you're right. I still only.do it 5-10 min 5 times a week. Maybe I could try increase it slowly by time.

[JonW]

'Maybe I could try increase it slowly by time.'

I would recommend that, very much so.
Cheers,
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

'Maybe I could try increase it slowly by time.'

I would recommend that, very much so.
Cheers,
Jon

Hi John what do you think about her point in this movie?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9mzJFUwTCo&t=7s

And can you relate to this in your own mindful practices?

[JonW]

Good stuff. Very sound concepts. But it's worth remembering that they are concepts.
Concepts are notoriously difficult to stick without also embodying a practice such as mindfulness. It's easy to grasp most concepts. It's even easier to forget about them.
I see nothing wrong in reading or listening to the likes of Teal Swan or Byron Katie. But I'd advise that their teachings are consumed in conjunction with a daily meditation practice - preferably a minimum of 20 minutes a day.
Again, this boils down to getting a firm grounding in practice. Reading books or listening to podcasts will only take us so far.
Cheers,
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

Good stuff. Very sound concepts. But it's worth remembering that they are concepts.
Concepts are notoriously difficult to stick without also embodying a practice such as mindfulness. It's easy to grasp most concepts. It's even easier to forget about them.
I see nothing wrong in reading or listening to the likes of Teal Swan or Byron Katie. But I'd advise that their teachings are consumed in conjunction with a daily meditation practice - preferably a minimum of 20 minutes a day.
Again, this boils down to getting a firm grounding in practice. Reading books or listening to podcasts will only take us so far.
Cheers,
Jon

Hi John,

The reason why I showed you this movie is that it is also a bit of an contradiction to mindfulness in my perception. Because if the mind shapes our reality - which I believe is true by jugding my own experiences. Doesn't mindfulness do to the oppesite by focussing away from that experience that the mind creates at that moment? Or is it more that you take your focus out of your automatic pilot, so that you can made a conscious (better) choice istead of living on the automatic pilot which might have bad patterns from the past?

[JonW]

Yes, by being mindful, by paying attention, we simply acknowledge the actuality of our situation, without immediately being hooked into automatic tendencies to judge, fix or want things to be other than they are.
That's one thing.
But also, we can all too easily become absorbed in the story of our lives the way we become absorbed in a movie. There’s no harm in watching a movie and losing ourselves in the dramatic ups and downs of the various characters. When the hero dies at the end, we don’t lose sleep over it. We might suspend disbelief for the duration of the film and lose ourselves in the twists and turns of the narrative but, when the credits roll, we are aware that we’ve been watching characters played by professional actors.
Often though, we forget that the mind is spinning us a story that can be as remote from actuality as any Hollywood movie. Furthermore, the way we interpret events often influences our feelings and determines our reactions more than the actual situation.
Imagine the following scenario. You attend the annual office party. Halfway through the evening, perhaps after a drink or two have been consumed, you spot Nigel from accounts across the room. You wave at him but he doesn’t wave back. Instantly, your mind swarms with thoughts about the situation. Nigel obviously doesn’t like me. I wonder how many people in the office don’t like me? I never felt particularly liked at school. That’s why I was so miserable as a teenager. Why is my life never easy? Why aren’t I more likeable? Why…?
Consider how you would feel with all those thoughts racing through your mind?
Now consider the following scenario.
On the Monday following the party, when everybody has recovered from their stinking hangovers, you find yourself standing next to Nigel from accounts in the queue at the office canteen. Nigel seems friendly enough. The conversation turns to the party. Nigel mentions that he didn’t particularly enjoy himself and you ask why. He tells you that he left his contact lenses at home and found it difficult to see properly. ‘I barely recognized people when they were right in front of me,’ he laughs.
Consider how you would feel upon hearing this.
So here's the thing - thoughts are not facts. So much of our suffering is caused not by what is actually happening to us but by the belief that what we are thinking is the truth. Mindfulness practice provides a release from this unconscious tyranny. With practice we are able to be mindful of thoughts as they happen, from moment to moment. We begin to see how thoughts colour our reality.
Our minds are naturally scattered. With thoughts running on auto-pilot, we veer from preoccupation with the past to preoccupation with the future, rarely showing up in the present moment. If we wake up with thoughts about the vast potential of a spring day, those thoughts will affect the quality of that day. If we are consumed with fearful, anxious thoughts about what might happen to us during the course of the day, that line of thinking will most likely impact on our experience.
Thoughts seem to have a life of their own, but you are not your thoughts. You may think continually but you are not your thinking any more than seeing means that you are an eye. Thoughts are things you have, just as growing your hair is something that you do.
Think about this. If you are able to aware of your thoughts, then you cannot be your thoughts.
Your thoughts do not define you, as you might realize when you begin to be mindfully attentive towards the thinking process. When thoughts are held in awareness, they tend to lose their hold over us and so we are able to emerge from the trance of thinking.
Cheers,
Jon

[Gareth]

Powerful stuff, Jon.

[Spikeycloud]

Hey guys how are you doing?

Even though I'm practicing mindfulness for some time now. The over extensive mindchatter seem to go on and on. I can barely focus on things like poker or other stuff. Sometimes the chatter is so severe that I get dizzy and a headache and it gives me very negative emotions and anxiety.

As you know, I decided to stop with stimulants because I thought they might had something to do with it. But even though not taking them anymore, my situation has not been improved. If any it even got worse. Because I hoped that when I stopped them things would get better but they don’t. And that is an extremely hard pill to swallow for me.

Maybe I mentioned this before, but it seems that there is no difference between my thoughts and me. And therefore it kinda feels that they create me than the other way around.
I’m thinking of doing a ayahuasca retreat soon. Because I’m not be able to tackle this problem myself, or the regular health care so far. It will be a difficult experience but I heard a lot of positive stories about it.

[JonW]

'I’m thinking of doing a ayahuasca retreat soon. Because I’m not be able to tackle this problem myself, or the regular health care so far. It will be a difficult experience but I heard a lot of positive stories about it.'

That is not something I'd recommend if you are feeling fragile in any way. Ayahuasca, so I've heard, can be a very positive experience but I know people who have had utterly terrifying experiences on it.
It's definitely not the kind of thing you plunge into in the hope that it will alleviate extreme anxiety.
Jon