Looking for a way

[Deborah1]

Hi Gareth

Thank you for that link. It was a very good read both from getting an idea of how to proceed and also the 'human interest' element.

[alexcr87]

Expectations has revealed to be one of the main pitfalls for me. For you it might be "meditation will decrease my anxiety", while for others if could be "meditation will make me a better person", "meditation will help me with difficult life choices", etc. I totally understand how it can be problematic.

If you don't mind a little bit of reading, we discussed the topic of expectations towards meditation here :

https://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5046

I think the best route would be to try not to engage in your preconceived ideas about meditation or your expectations towards it. At the same time, when you are "dreaming" about those you're already lost in your thoughts. Just note that, and gently return to your breath. No need to criticize yourself for thinking about that neither.

[Deborah1]

Hi alexcr87

Thanks for your post and the link which I read. Fortunately my expectations don't come up during my meditation and in fact I find the meditation a positive experience. I'm so aware of the non striving approach and self compassion (and I think the Mark Williams meditations are really good at that) it lets me know I can't. get it wrong.

But yes I want to get rid of my need for results. Although I shouldn't speak too soon I think I will be able to maintain regular meditation. From all I've read it is certainly good for the mind. Given how poorly my mind has been and how hard it is for me to maintain a reasonable level of health I believe I have an obligation to commit. to it.

I did an 8 week course about 3 years ago but thought it should show results immediately and so gave up and decided it was overrated.

By being pro-active in my health I am feeling more positive at the moment and that's good.

When it comes to why people give up I found that in our 8 week course where everyone who was asked was suffering from depression or anxiety, about a third dropped out as the course went on. Of the 8 that completed the course 3 of us are continuing. That means that only one quarter are continuing and it could lower again. I don't know how that compares with other groups.

Best wishes
Deb