True self

[Spikeycloud]

Great advice from Jon.

You're really overthinking it, Spikey. You're getting in your own way, doing that.
The answers will come to you by experiencing the practice, not by contemplations.

Peter

I know - it is not that I choosing to do so. This has become a very stubborn pattern as well some other patterns that I have that do not serve me. I hope mindfulness takes care that I'm not getting so entangled in them.

Another things that is not very fun is the fact that I can get irritated on very small things like a youtube movie that does not load quickly or someone on the street does something stupid sometimes even before they did even do something I'm already creating the screnario that they do so I can scold them. I don't choose to think that - it just happens and when it happens I completely believe it's me thinking and choosing to think that - while it is not. I try to accept now that these things pop op in my mind and I try to put my attention back (if I do not forget)

And I was an extremely calm person in the past. To get me angry or frustrated was very difficult in the past. Now it seems to be the opposite,

[JonW]

It's an encouraging sign that you are noticing these patterns.
Keep noticing them and keep being mindful about them.
Patience and curiosity to the fore. This stuff takes time.
We can only be mindful in this moment. This moment is the only moment we have. We cannot be mindful about a time in the future. Nor does it do us any good to be impatient about the fact that the process is slower than we would hope.
Cheers,
Jon

[Peter]

I'd recommend that you don't discuss anything more on the forum for a while. Since it will only create more thoughts for you.

Could you get a copy of the book "Finding Peace in a Frantic World: Mindfulness"? My advice would be to try that 'course' , and check in with us midway, and afterwards.

I think this would even be better than a teacher in your particular case, since I think it would be too tempting for you to get involved in more discussions. Of course, always check in if there is a very urgent matter.

What do you think of this idea?

Peter

[Gareth]

Hi Spikey,

You have had great advice from Peter and Jon.

I completely agree with Peter that you are thinking about this issue over and over, and that this forum topic is probably not helping any more. I am going to close it down now.

Please don't take this as a sign that your voice is not welcome here any more - quite the opposite is true. We love to help people with their mindfulness practice, and we will continue to help you; It just may be that you need some time to practise more and reflect on some of these issues.

Continue to practise - it is the key. I would recommend the structure of a mindfulness course - either through a book or with a teacher. Jon himself is a qualified teacher. Alternatively, you can follow the course in a book. FPIAFW is the book that we tend to recommend here.

I wish you every luck on your journey.

[JonW]

Hi Spikey,
Occasionally, threads on this forum tend to wander a little off the beaten track (which is mindfulness) and can be confusing for other members, particularly newcomers.
But, as Peter and Gareth say, you are always welcome here and we'll do our best to answer any questions pertaining to mindfulness practice.
All good things,
Jon