Ignoring past problems?

Post here if you are just starting out with your mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a really difficult concept to get your head around at first, and it might be that you would benefit from some help from others.
Linden62
Posts: 3
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Aug 2017

Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:32 pm  

Hi im new here, can anyone advise? I've been using mindfulness to help try and break worrying about one thing after the next, ocd and what could be false memories. It's recently occurred to me though, am I not just ignoring the past rather than dealing with it by being mindful and present? I feel as though I should be dealing with the memories and issues of the past?

Thanks

Linden62
Posts: 3
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Aug 2017

Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:50 pm  

Anyone?

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Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:22 pm  

Welcome Linden,

You can also think of something of the past you'd like to 'deal with', and notice what it does to you in the present moment. Bodily sensations and such.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask.

Peter

Linden62
Posts: 3
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Aug 2017

Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:03 pm  

I appreciate the reply. I wouldn't say that answers the question however but thank you none the less

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Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:38 am  

Maybe you could clarify your question then, Linden.

What I'm trying to make clear is that, one lives in the now. Not in the past.

Mindfulness is about being aware of what is going on in this present moment. So also about sensing what it is one needs in this present moment.

Your idea of dealing with past problems and memories seems to be, thinking about them. You assume that you are ignoring them if you are present, but you have to realize that you 'have to' deal with them now. You have no other moment to deal with them. So being mindful in this present moment is really all you can do.

Maybe you have the wrong impression about what mindfulness is, or how you practice it. As Jon always wisely asks, what is your mindfulness-background and what does your current practice look like?

Peter

JonW
Team Member
Posts: 2897
Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:23 am  

I agree with what Peter says here.
You write, 'I feel as though I should be dealing with the memories and issues of the past?'
If that's what you need to do, then some kind of therapy might be a better option for you. Or maybe you could find a psychotherapist who weaves mindfulness into their practice.
All best,
Jon
Jon leads the Everyday Mindfulness group meditation on Zoom every Monday/Friday, 6pm London-time. FREE.
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leosmith
Posts: 29
Practice Mindfulness Since: 03 Feb 2017

Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:29 am  

Hi Linden! I can't speak for others, but here's my take on that. I used to worry a lot about many past problems, and I wondered if I should seek professional help and more aggressively confront these. In fact the thing that got me to start meditation were panic attacks caused by worrying too much about past events.

So I started meditating, and learned that there's no way to stop thinking about stuff, but it is possible to develop the skill to stop, or greatly reduce, worrying and obsessing over those thoughts. After a couple months I started noticing the difference, and realized I was developing that skill. So what happened to this idea about seeking professional help? Well first, since my worrying has decreased quite a bit, it doesn't seem critical. But here's the thing that really changed my mind - if I had a close friend or family member make the same mistakes, or experience the same issues that I had in my past life, I would "forgive" them, or tell them that these things are in the past, everybody makes mistakes, etc. After consideration, I didn't feel I needed to say - "wow, that's messed up. you better turn yourself into the police; you better get some help and work on that; you better find that person and beg for forgiveness" etc.

Now everyone is different, your issues might be more serious, or you might just disagree with my opinion that if you'd forgive a friend, you should forgive yourself and handle your anxiety with meditation only. So do what you see fit, but I wanted to add one more thing. Doing metta (loving kindness) has helped me become nicer and more forgiving not only to others, but to myself. Maybe this is the reason why I've gotten better at letting myself off the hook. Good luck!

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