Grief

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JonW
Team Member
Posts: 2897
Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:21 am  

As some of you already know, my beloved dog Banjo went to sleep for the last time yesterday. He was old and tired. His health was in sharp decline. His time had come.
For more than thirteen years he was my near-constant companion and he was a great friend to me. I loved him dearly, immeasurably. He was, without doubt, one of the joys of my life.
This is a very sad time for me, a time of grief.
This is the first time I've had to deal with grief since taking up mindfulness and it's interesting to notice the difference. In the past (in the midst of a relationship break-up or a bereavement) I would do just about anything to avoid the waves of grief that reared up. There was a lot of drinking. There was a lot of wishing the feelings away. There was a lot of unhelpful narrative swirling around my mInd. There was a lot of stuff that not only didn't work, it prolonged the agony.
Over the past 24 hours I've noticed that I'm able to simply let the feelings and thoughts be. I've noticed that, if I choose not to label my sadness or think of it as something that I want rid of, it simply IS. And, if I can allow myself to be with that feeling, it comes and it goes and that's ok. Recognising it as internal weather and not wishing that it was any different than what it is in the moment, that's ok too. With a nod to Rumi's The Guest House, I'm laying out the welcome mat for my grief at this time. And I know deep in my heart that the healing has begun. There's something beautiful about it.
All good things,
Jon
Jon leads the Everyday Mindfulness group meditation on Zoom every Monday/Friday, 6pm London-time. FREE.
Follow this link to join the WhatsApp group and receive notifications: https://chat.whatsapp.com/K5j5deTvIHVD7z71H3RIIk

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Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:32 am  

My heart goes out to you, Jon!
Your description of how you are coping with this is very beautiful!
I hope you feel better soon!
Peter

JonW
Team Member
Posts: 2897
Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:39 am  

Thanks Peter. Much appreciated.
There's a Thich Nhat Hanh meditation group meeting in Lewes tonight which I'll be attending. It'll be a nice, healing way to spend the evening.
Cheers,
Jon
Jon leads the Everyday Mindfulness group meditation on Zoom every Monday/Friday, 6pm London-time. FREE.
Follow this link to join the WhatsApp group and receive notifications: https://chat.whatsapp.com/K5j5deTvIHVD7z71H3RIIk

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Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Tue Jul 05, 2016 11:09 am  

Sounds like the perfect thing to do, Jon!

MiM
Posts: 122
Practice Mindfulness Since: 0- 5-2015

Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:33 pm  

So sorry to hear about your loss, Jon.
Stands at the sea, wonders at wondering: I a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe.
-Richard Feynman-


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Happyogababe
Posts: 250
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Jan 2008

Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:13 am  

I am so very sorry to hear about Banjo. You have my heartfelt wishes. I hope that the meditation group helped. I agree that your description of how you are coping with this huge loss is beautiful. I hope you are doing OK.

Best wishes,
Happyogababe
'You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf' Jon Kabat Zinn

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