Hello there!

[fabiG]

Good morning everyone,

my name is Fabian, I'm from Germany and encountered mindfulness when I studied in the UK in the lovely city that is Canterbury, Kent. Through various factors last summer I find myself now really anxious, basically an end result of many years in the past...

I think that for me, mindfulness provides a different approach to everything that I had learned earlier, especially as I tried to flee from my negative thoughts and emotions. Turning towards them is a central concept of mindfulness, but still for me it is very difficult to turn towards difficulties in specific but also being mindful in general.

I really like the idea of a forum for an exchange of thoughts/opinions about mindfulness, so I thought I gave it a try and register. Although each person has its unique way of cherishing the present, I think it can't be too bad listening to other people and their views and experiences of mindfulness. In addition, it is fantastic to read some positive stories, which certainly makes me feel encouraged to stay committed to my practices.

Lovely wishes from Germany

[Peter]

Welcome to the forum Fabi,
Thank you very much for your introduction!
If you've any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
Good luck!
Peter

[JonW]

Hi fabiG,
Welcome to Everyday Mindfulness. Please feel free to make yourself at home here.
To begin with, you say, "Turning towards them (difficulties) is a central concept of mindfulness, but still for me it is very difficult to turn towards difficulties in specific but also being mindful in general."
Would you care to expand on that? I'm not quite sure what you mean.
Cheers,
Jon

[fabiG]

Thank you for your welcome!

I just wanted to highlight that - for me personally - it takes courage to actually focus on these difficulties, to actually welcome them because so far I simply, well I don't know how to describe this exactly really, kind of wanted to suppress them. I feel I am not accepting them, not wanting them to be there, and not bringing enough kindness to me. And so sometimes I feel that I could need some "practice" but eventually do nothing really, because turning to difficulties would mean accepting them (which I really want, I want to be the person I know I am) but something is hindering me sometimes...

I hope it has become more clearer :) As I'm a starter, I might have missed a point here but that is just how I feel currently...

[Peter]

When you notice that it is difficult for you to focus on difficulties, that you want to suppress them, that is being mindful in itself. You're noticing what is! That's great! Just keep doing that. Maybe you can try to turn towards difficulties just a little bit every time, and observe what it does to you. Dip your toe in the water, if you will.

Good luck!
Peter

[JonW]

Thanks for clarifying, fabiG.
Turning towards difficulties does take courage. We are conditioned to turn away from them, distract ourselves from them, do anything but actually notice and accept that they are part of our present-moment experience.
Peter makes a very good point about turning towards difficulties just a little bit every time, and observing what it does to you. If something is too painful to look square in the face, can we explore the edges of it? Can we be curious about how it feels to face that difficulty for just one moment? In that looking, however brief and tentative it is, there can be a kind of dissolving.
I like the analogy of turning to face a phantom in one's dreams. As we dream, the phantom is built up in our sleepy imaginations as the most terrifying thing ever. If we summon up the courage to turn and face it, we see it for what it is - something that has no substance.
That's not to suggest that all the troubles we face in life have no substance. Only that there is a difference between the difficulty we face in life (that bill we can't pay, that woman who won't return our love, that friend who is not behaving like a friend) and the narrative we spin around it.
The truth is that very few things in life are as painful/embarrassing/awkward/impossible as we tell ourselves they are.
To see that, we need to turn in the direction of the difficulty. But gently.
All best,
Jon

[fabiG]

Thank you both very much!

[fabiG]

Hey guys,

after practicing mindfulness for quite half a near now, I thought I'd give you a shout how things are at the moment.

It's really been an interesting story so far. In the first 4 months or so, after having completed the Finding Peace book, I did struggle a bit to practice constantly. At the beginning of June, however, something profound seemed to change. Suddenly I found myself observing my thoughts, constantly getting my attention back to the present even when doing normal things in daily life and these two changes that were so simple yet incredibly powerful. I've found myself smiling when I noticed that I was day-dreaming, it suddenly happened automatically, that was very encouraging! I have become more non-judgemental towards me and other persons, I've been very compassionate with my loved ones and also with me when I was feeling not very good, so the past month was quite a revelation for me. Since then, I have established a mindfulness practice routine, I normally meditate in the morning and in the evening for approx. 15-20 minutes (so 30-40 mins. total per day), first concentrating on sounds, then on my thoughts (going into my cinema, where I try to be a spectator rather than the actor if you get what I mean) and finally on my breath to ground myself. Additionally, I listen mindfully to music especially in the afternoons, when I'm tired and run risk of sleeping in when meditating, as I'm mostly closing my eyes whilst meditation.

However, as happened last weekend, sometimes my emotions, feelings and thoughts gain the upper hand. Often enough, I know that they are present, even when I'm feeling good, but with meditating I can accept them better, see them as thoughts in my cinema and enjoy life more than if everything completely overwhelms me. When this happens, I'm finding it extremely difficult to meditate. I just can't do it. I loose the role of the observer in the cinema but am playing right in the scenes that are created by my mind, my autopilot is overtaking me and it's just frightening how big of a difference this really is!.... And finding back to my "normal" state usually doesn't include meditating, but just waiting for the storm to end...it's really hard and I wish I could go mindfully through this periods.

Hearing the different sounds that are created by the motorway implies to me that my mindful mind is back and my monkey mind has calmed a bit;

in this sense a bon voyage to you all,

Fabian

[Peter]

Hi Fabian,
Thanks for your post. What a great story!
When you feel overwhelmed, as you write in the end, maybe you could just try to focus on the breath. I recommend this exercise. Click here

You're saying 'bon voyage' ? I hope this isn't meant as a goodbye?
Peter

[fabiG]

No, no, I'm sticking around! :) It was just meant to wish a good journey as the cars are traveling on the motorway, and I think each of us is on a journey with mindfulness. and of course I want my journey to last!!! ;;)