Anger feels good?

[Ich]

Hello everyone!

I have a few questions regarding anger or any other emotion.
A few days ago I went to work and realized that someone hadn't done what they were supposed to. There was a lot of work to do that day as well. In that moment I noticed I was starting to get angry and almost ready to start cussing and complaining in my mind about the workplace when I reminded myself that I had to be mindful and there was no reason for me to get angry. It wasn't such a big deal and the guy who messed things up was still there and willing to help me with it for a short while. However, after about a minute I felt like I was suppressing that anger rather than letting go of it, so I allowed myself to mindfully get angry for a while. I might have let out a "god damn this thing!" and it felt so good!

That short moment of anger didn't cause me any harm so I am wondering:
What should we do with emotions? Should we let them run their course or stop them whenever we notice them?

PS: I am completely new to mindful meditation. I mostly know what it is about, but I still have plenty of questions and I am not sure what category to place them in. Is this the right place for asking questions?

[JonW]

Hi Ich,
Yes, you've come to the right place to ask questions.
You ask, "What should we do with emotions? Should we let them run their course or stop them whenever we notice them?"
You could say that, when we're being mindful, we're allowing a space around thoughts, feelings etc. So, when anger is noticed, where is it located in the body? Is the jaw clenched? Is the chest tight? Are our hands balled into fists? We simply notice and we're curious. We're not trying to stop the feeling of anger, nor are we actually trying to change it. Can we allow it to rest in awareness?
In my opinion, the body scan is very useful in terms of developing this skill of simply noticing. As we move through the body, we zoom in on the tiniest physical sensations and we simply become aware of those. We're not looking for anything special to happen. We're not trying to change anything. We're simply being with what is.
The same applies to the feeling of anger. If we catch it in time (before we yell at someone or bury a hatchet in their head ), perhaps we can be curious about it, rather than allowing it to spiral out of control.
I hope this is of some help.
Best wishes,
Jon

[Happyogababe]

Hi Ich,

It's nice to meet you. What JonW has said about 'allowing space' around feelings and thoughts etc really does make sense, it's as though you stand back and think 'oh hello, what's this then.' I know it's not that easy, especially in the midst of red mist. I have found that by doing the body scan daily I do experience what JonW describes (not always, but I'm still a beginner really) about noticing tension or if I'm holding an area in my body and I don't fight so much with thoughts, I seem to be able to look at them and choose if I attach to them, or not.

[Gareth]

when I reminded myself that I had to be mindful and there was no reason for me to get angry.

Just be careful of this. I don't think it's ever any good to suppress our emotions, or to tell ourselves that we 'shouldn't be feeling a certain way.

Like the others have said, it's through the noticing that mindfulness really holds its power. You notice the anger, so instead of reacting to it and doing something you really regret, you notice the anger building and act more intelligently. Maybe you could start getting curious about its manifestation in your body. Maybe you could start doing some mindful breathing. Maybe you could just go and sit in another room for a while. Much better to respond when the adrenalin has left your system.

[JonW]

To clarify my point about creating space around thoughts and feelings, I'll quote Victor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist/psychiatrist who chronicled his experiences as a concentration camp inmate in the astonishing book Man’s Search For Meaning. One thing Frankl wrote was, “In between stimulus and response, there is a space; in that space lies our power to choose our response – there lies freedom.”
As Elisha Goldstein adds, "In essence, the practice is to notice when the judging is happening so we can recognise the space in between what we’re judging (the stimulus) and the judging itself (the reaction) and choose to make a change. The power to choose our responses comes with an awareness of that space."
Eventually, at least in my experience, this noticing becomes second nature. That realisation that I actually have a choice in how I respond to thoughts and feelings has been life-changing for me.
Jon

[Happyogababe]

To clarify my point about creating space around thoughts and feelings, I'll quote Victor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist/psychiatrist who chronicled his experiences as a concentration camp inmate in the astonishing book Man’s Search For Meaning. One thing Frankl wrote was, “In between stimulus and response, there is a space; in that space lies our power to choose our response – there lies freedom.”
As Elisha Goldstein adds, "In essence, the practice is to notice when the judging is happening so we can recognise the space in between what we’re judging (the stimulus) and the judging itself (the reaction) and choose to make a change. The power to choose our responses comes with an awareness of that space."
Eventually, at least in my experience, this noticing becomes second nature. That realisation that I actually have a choice in how I respond to thoughts and feelings has been life-changing for me.
Jon

Those quotes really make sense, as my practice develops I feel Aha moments and it feels good.

[Peter]

To continue along those lines:

It is a chain reaction. First there's 'the' thought, then there's the anger, then one usually feeds that anger with new thoughts, so it becomes bigger and bigger.

The sooner you become aware of an event in that chain, the better. If you notice that first thought (eg about the work that hasn't been done), you could realize that it is how it is, and you accept that situation and go from there; the anger has no purpose. (that's that space that Jon was talking about). So you let it be, before you're getting angry.

Once you're already angry, and you notice that, accept that that is how you feel right now; it's okay, then realize that the anger serves no purpose, and let go of it.

The most crucial event in this chain is the last one: try not to feed the anger with new thoughts. The more you do that, the more you identify with these thoughts and the truer they feel, and the more difficult it will become to let go of it.

Peter

[Ich]

Thanks guys! I will do more body scans. They're actually quite pleasant.

[Matt Y]

Great responses from everyone regarding anger and emotions in general. It's so pleasing to be in a space (forum) where emotions aren't getting demonised.