No to be conscious

[andrea90]

Hello everyone, I'm not A mother english language, excuse me if sometimes I will make grammatical errors. Since tree years I practice meditation and recently during my work I realize not to be conscious. I think about the future or I get angry about the other person although there would be no reason to do so. I try to focus on the present moment classifyng these type of thoughs as something that distracts me from the real reason to be, but doing so I seems to give it greater force. I tried to take a position as observer but with few results. Maybe I apply a harsh attitude towards them. Maybe I'm wrong to try to cancel them doggedly focusing on the present moment. Do you have any advice for me? I hope that I have succeeded to make myself understood.
Soon.
Andrea.

[JonW]

Hi Andrea,
What kind of regular meditation practice do you have? How long do you practice for? Do you use body scans as well as sitting practices? Do you practice mindful movement? How long have you practiced for?
All best wishes,
Jon

[Peter]

Welcome Andrea,

What is your native language?

For future reference (for anybody):

If it is any easier, maybe someone can translate for you.
I, for instance can translate from Dutch and German to English. And chances are that others are willing to help with other languages!

Peter

[JonW]

I can translate from Welsh to English. That's it.
Jon

[andrea90]

Hi, I'm italian. I practice a receptive meditation, I'm looking trough the breath voluntarily to direct my attention towards the complete absence of thoughts, I help me with some mantra. During day I'm looking to do the same think with my thoughts when I recognize their as deviant about what I'm doing in that moment. I wonder if this is a correct atteggiament or if I must to limit myself to do it only during meditative practices leaving free expression to my thoughs.
Soon
Andrea

[JonW]

Hi Andrea.
I think I understand you.
The aim of mindfulness is not to stop unwelcome thoughts. It's more about noticing our thinking patterns and not judging them as good, bad or indifferent. Also, in mindfulness practice, we tend not to use mantras. And mindfulness is as much about body awareness as mental awareness.
If it's another form of meditation practice you follow, this may not be the right site for you. If, however, you are interested in establishing a mindfulness practice, we'll do our best to help and advise.
All best,
Jon

[andrea90]

Hi Jon, sorry for my later response. I didn't realize what kind of awakeness you practiced in this forum. But I'm interested in establishing a mindfulness practice. If you want you can explain me something about this.
Soon

[JonW]

Hi andrea90,
The mindfulness practice we follow here is the Jon Kabat-Zinn model. You might want to investigate some of Kabat-Zinn's books. Alternatively, he can be checked out on YouTube etc.
If you have any specific questions, we'll do our best to answer them.
All best wishes,
Jon