Mindfullness, Sad Feeling, Stress & Anxiety

[Mischa]

Thanks, I get what you are saying.

[mindfull_student]

Hi mindfull_student.
You ask, "Would it not have been more beneficial to push out the negative emotions...?"
I doubt it. That sounds like yet more avoidance. Mindfulness is about paying attention to present moment experience. As you've correctly surmised, the aim of mindfulness is not to clear your cluttered mind of all the anxiety, upsetting thoughts, doubts, and fears. It's not about stopping the mind. Thoughts are not the problem. How we relate to thoughts is often a problem. Mindfulness is not a goal-oriented practice.
I'd be interested to hear how you're going about mindfulness as your interpretation of the practice sounds very different from what I've learned about it. Did you go through the 8-week course with a qualified teacher? Or have you followed the course via a book? Without a structured approach it can be very difficult to ground yourself in the practice.
All best wishes,
Jon

Yes, the course was run by my university so I assume that she would be qualified. I also have a couple friends read mindfulness more extensively via books and other forms of media who I discuss with regularly. The headspace app is also really nice as a 10 day introduction.
I don't think this strategy is avoidance, if I were to focus inwards on every stressful thought that popped into my head and focused on that I would probably explode!
The guided meditations have taught me not to focus on thoughts, but to focus on breath, the feeling of my weight on the chair i am sitting on, or just the sounds which I am hearing.
I agree completely that how we 'relate' to thoughts is very important, we relate to them by hanging onto and over analysing every thought. Would it not be a better strategy to accept the mind with its fleeting emotions as being erratic and instead of focusing on that, to focus on something more grounded, such as the breath?

[mindfull_student]

Is there any school of mindfullness that I can subscribe to which can teach me not how to focus inwards on emotions.

Not that I know of.

Turning towards difficult feelings and emotions is a part of every mindfulness course I've ever seen. As human beings, we are emotional creatures, and the emotions are never going to stop coming. With a solid mindfulness practice though, we can learn to handle these emotions more skillfully. In a way that is more beneficial to our wellbeing.

Ironically the thing that you are seeking i.e being able to move your mind away from distractions and onto the job in hand can certainly be a benefit of the practice. It certainly has for me anyway.

I understand completely what you are saying about humans being emotional creatures, the emotions indeed are not going to stop coming. So why would it be a good strategy to focus on the emotions which are constantly streaming through the mind? Why not focus on something more grounded and stable such as the body or breath?

[mindfull_student]

Hi there

Pushing away negative feelings, and trying to run away from them often makes them stronger. You know what it's like when there is a job that you need to do but you try to avoid doing it, it plays on your mind. But if you turn towards the job and get it done you mind becomes quiet. It's the same with negative emotions, when you push them away they stay there, demanding to be acknowledged but if you turn towards them, feel where the emotion sits, you start to realise that it is powerless, it's not scary, it's just a feeling, after a while it will start to fade.

This understanding and turning towards is not a magic wand, it takes time and sometimes it will be uncomfortable. If you have done the 8 week course this will give you the tools on how to approach this.

I hope this helps and remember to be kind to yourself.

K

Not sure your analogy makes sense, turning inwards towards emotions makes them fade?
Do you have a link to the 8 week course I am interested to know more.

[mindfull_student]

Just a quote which explains better what I mean by 'uncluttering the mind':

You may find that your mind wanders a hundred times, or just a few. It is okay for this to happen and it doesn't mean that you are doing anything wrong, just notice the distractions and gently bring your attention back to the breath.

source: http://www.freemindfulness.org/breath


Just to confirm the course I attended was MBSR, I will probably go through an online MBSR course to supplement the 'real life' course I attended this time last year.

Having said that I have been practising my own version of 'breath focused rather than emotion focused' mindfulness for over a year and it seems to have been working well. But it would be good to understand what you guys mean by 'focusing inwards on emotions'. It sounds like an interesting concept which I am curious about. Feel free to send over any links (I will most likely read everything you send), I tend to ascribe to secular forms of mindfulness as I am not spiritual but i am happy to read any material think may help my practice.

[JonW]

Hi mindfull_student,
In the 8-week course, "turning towards" begins in week five and it's crucial to understanding and embodying mindfulness. Was that a part of your university-run course? Some courses miss out the "turning towards" stage.
This has nothing to do with focussing inwards on every stressful thought that pops into your head. Where was that suggested?
All best,
Jon