Why is it that people stop meditating?

[JonW]

"The point I'm making if that if you sit down with the idea of not getting caught up in thoughts, you are caught up in that thought."

Thoughts are not the problem. How we relate to thoughts, that can be problematic.
But mindfulness is a simple practice. It's best to keep it simple.
Non-duality has its place but probably not here.
All best,
Jon

[HeeelMooi]

Yes I agree, thanks Jon.

[erikleo]

I've been doing zazen for over 30 yrs off and on. As I suffer from depression I can tell you that the experience is the spiritual equivalent of climbing Mt Everest. I cant speak for mindfulness done as simply a secular practice but with any serious meditation you are bound to come up against some very dark places. This is when most people are tempted to stop. I wd recommend anyone starting midfulness meditation to do it with a group and with experienced practitioners. It is a a bit of a fallacy that mindfulness practice is all about peace and light! Be prepared for struggle, challenges and a complete internal revolution. I always said meditation should come with a government (universe!) health warning!

[quirky_friend]

I've been doing zazen for over 30 yrs off and on. As I suffer from depression I can tell you that the experience is the spiritual equivalent of climbing Mt Everest. I cant speak for mindfulness done as simply a secular practice but with any serious meditation you are bound to come up against some very dark places. This is when most people are tempted to stop. I wd recommend anyone starting midfulness meditation to do it with a group and with experienced practitioners. It is a a bit of a fallacy that mindfulness practice is all about peace and light! Be prepared for struggle, challenges and a complete internal revolution. I always said meditation should come with a government (universe!) health warning!

The Christian mystic traditions concur with you that to go on this journey you will find long arid "night-times of the Soul". My own journey has been in the mystic tradition and I can say that I've given up a great many times.
I like your analogy of My Everest. For me, the symbolism " yeh, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear not, for thou rod and staff they comfort me" is a strong touchstone in the dark times. A rod and staff are not soft comfort, they are the discipline of staying present even when there is pain and trouble

[Kevjin]

Hello people,

I was about to create a subject when I saw this post. I have read fast the last page and I come here for a short testimony followed by some questions.

I started the practice of mindfulness 1 year ago for 1 month and half and even if I saw some benefits I stopped. It really helped me to relax on the moment and I was more aware of what was going on in my mind and my body. After 2-3 weeks of practice the sessions became harder and harder at a point where it was really difficult to continue cause it was bringing me a lot of negative emotions and was putting me in anxious and tensed states (I will call it the dark tendency). I know that sometimes it's not all pinky pinky so I continued for 2-3 weeks but I notice this dark tendency to continue at a point where the sessions were too hard to do so I stopped.

I started again mindfulness 3 weeks ago with the MBSR of John Kabat Zin and the dark tendency seems to come back but I have a little more understanding of it and that's why I seek some advice from this community. I have a lot of trouble to understand what he means in bodyscan session when he is saying "breath into your... leg (or foot...)" so I am wondering what should I do to breath into it and how do I know I am doing it and end up obsess by it(cause you are supposed to breath into every parts of your body) that I lose touch with the meditation... It's really tensing me and making me angry and I end up not being relax at the end of my session which is okay sometimes but I am afraid I'm going to the same direction as before.

Another thing is that I have trouble to really understand what should I do when I am supposed to feel some part of my body. Now I'm focusing myself on the part that I should but I don't know if I should or not : Try to name the sensations that I am feeling ; investigate my bodypart actively in order to find a sensation or just let it come ; when I breath into my bodypart, should I feel it's moving at the rhythm ?
Last thing but not least : When I focus on my breathing I have trouble to know if I am observing or controlling my breath... How can I know the difference ? This makes the breathing mediation hard to do because I often lose my breath focusing to much on it... So I guess it means that I'm controlling it..

To link it with this subject I would say that all those little questions that are in my mind or that are in the mind of a person that practice mindfulness, if not answered I think that the incertitude link to the practice can grow at a point where the person doesn't know if it's beneficial for her anymore and the sessions become so hard that they quit.
If anybody could help me with my interrogations, you would help a pal keep the practice going and I would be so great full !

Have a good night !

[JonW]

Hi Kevjin,
Welcome to the forum.
A quick reply for now as I'm about to repair to bed. Hopefully there's no repairing involved.
When we talk about breathing into a body part during a body scan it's a visualisation as much as anything. If it's the foot, imagine the foot to be hollowed out and, on an in-breath, imagine the breath filling that space.
When we're focussing on specific parts of the body, we're being invited to simply notice any sensation that are there. Tingling, irritation, warmth etc. This is simply about noticing. We're not looking for anything special to occur. We're not trying to change anything.
As for the breathing, is it possible to create some space around the thought of whether you're observing or controlling? Is it possible to simply breathe normally and observe that?
I hope you stick around the forum. It's a good place to be. Apologies for the technical difficulties we're experiencing at the moment. Normal service etc.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[elodgins]

I've been practicing for 3 years. In that time, I have lapsed several times. The reasons are varied...but for me, if I look hard enough for root cause, there is a pattern.

I get busy in a project...I love projects. They make me feel good; they make me feel focused, dare I say mindful. Without formally acknowledging it, my meditation sessions wane...the project feels like a good substitute.

Invariably, the project ends, or becomes unruly and symptoms of anxiousness, sleep deprivation (my #1 indicator of monkey brain) and lack of focus creep back into my life. This will prompt me to return to meditation.

Why would I let this happen over and over...I guess I'm a slow learner.

Alas, I've now placed 25 min of meditation into my morning routine. It is now as habitual as brushing my teeth.

Hope my story helps others.

[MiM]

Hi Kevjin,

Welcome here. My single advice to you would be to relax. There is no one way to any of this so you really cannot do it all wrong.

If the "breathing into" visualization doesn't work for you, don't worry. You can very well do meditation and a body scan without that specific tool.

Don't worry about if you are unconsciously/automatically controlling your breath. It isn't dangerous to do so. You can have a perfectly good sitting meditation even though your breathing isn't "free" all the time. And if you stop minding if you control it or not, you will probably soon notice you are not doing it.

You might enjoy a video or two by Ajahn Brahm. He is a Buddhist monk (yes Buddhist, not pure mindfulness!), and he is usually very relaxed in his teaching. I am sorry I cannot point you to any specific talk right now, but there is a bunch of them on youtube.

[Kevjin]

JonW and MiM,

Thanks for the warm welcoming and the specifications. I always been alone in my practice so it's kind of hard to know if I do the thing rightly. I guess I just needed some reassurance.. And guys no need to be sorry for the services or youtube videos, you are really helping me with those lines! So why not stick around.

I'll give some feedback about the videos MiM.

Cheers !

[Pjharii]

I'm another person who had started meditating. But unwillingly i stoped doing it. Bcoz its like forceful -sparing time and doing it. Be it 1min or20 mins. But i dont want to stop. Wanna continue. Lacks motivation. Looking for that secret which makes meditating as a habit to me, which doesn't make it forceful thing to do. Hoping someone give an interesting answer im looking for. TY