both at a beginning and not...

[quirky_friend]

In one way I'm very new to this. On the other hand I'm a Quaker so I'm used to still waiting from 25 years in meeting for worship.
I picked up Mark Williams book on mindfulness and depression just before a really severe acute depression with added anxiety for variety, just over 10 weeks ago. I've had a pretty rough time getting on to the med that works for me...so I'm only just getting level enough to move beyond a most days practice of the body scan, which I've found to be a real anchor in my recovery.
Our local community mental health service is offering a 5 week 2 hours a week course of mindfulness with an accredited trainer, who normally only delivers in private practice. My biggest challenge will be that I work with the second facilitator in a professional capacity nd I'm a bit uncertain about her.
Why am I making a commitment to learning this and regular practice? I'm by nature a human doing rather than a human being, but I'm now having to reassess my priorities. I have a significant number of life stressors above and beyond the recent illness, much of which are not about to change any time soon. My partner and his 14 & 18 year old daughters and my 79 year old Mum are all important to me and in return I need to be taking better care of myself so I can care for them in return.

[JonW]

"My biggest challenge will be that I work with the second facilitator in a professional capacity nd I'm a bit uncertain about her."

That in itself will be a mindfulness exercise.
I wish you all happiness on your course. It sounds like you are good and ready.
If you need any support with mindfulness, you'll find it here. I trust you'll find us to be a friendly bunch.
All best wishes,
Jon, Hove

[quirky_friend]

Thanks.
I think the whole issue of the second facilitator is my brain trying to be avoidant of change rather than a legitimate issue ...I've been trying to work out why we don't relate easily and I suspect we both react to each other from a place of being reminded of other people.
I need to remember this

[JonW]

On Tuesday, I begin co-facilitating an eight-week course as part of my mindfulness teacher training. Now you've got me thinking…"Will I remind someone in the group of someone they feel uneasy about?…
It's funny how the mind works.
Cheers,
Jon

[quirky_friend]

I use transactional analysis alongside CBT in my clinical practice because I find it helps people to have a schema for naming their internal voices and to understand there are both roles we play and scripts we follow (when we are not mindful).
My elder sister was a big childhood influence and was very much part of my internalized critical Parent narrative voice. I'm reasonably certain I'm reacting from my natural Child to this second facilitator and giving her critical Parent attributes. As mindfulness is an Adult function, I need to be aware of the fact my natural Child is going to be a bit more prone to being reactive and throwing feelings around.
If you'd like to learn more TA in a very profound and simple way there is a book published in the 1970s that was recently reprinted called TA for kids. It is pitched at about 10 years old but covers the topic very well.
One way we can break scripts and roles is choosing not to play. That again requires a mindful decision and also clear communication. It is hard work!