Mindfulness and changing thought processes

[ADropOffTime]

How can you tell when to change them and when not to? I've read in a book about mindfulness of a story where a boy's father would stop people from making him laugh or other ways to cheer him up. The father only told the boy somewhere in the lines of, "Yes, you are sad.", teaching him not to push away his emotions. While on the other hand, in Frantic World, they mention things like trying to be more grateful. I've heard from a youtuber that taught mindfulness that gratitude can be used to cheer you up when you're sad but isn't that the opposite of the story above? Even in the same book, they mentioned a man who became aware of his emotions of fear in his body and reacted to it by changing it to be more positive.

I noticed when I try to be grateful, there might come a time when no feelings of happiness come at all. I used to be frustrated at this but somehow being mindful of this frustration made it better, sometimes I fail but there are still times where it completely disappears. Is this the answer? It's okay to try to change your thought process as long as you're mindful of it? If it doesn't work, do you simply give up, wait for next time and be mindful of you're failure? Again, when do you know when to change it or simply accept it?

I've been thinking of changing my thought processes lately. Many are from the attitudes of mindfulness like non-judging and non-striving. Others are things like curiosity or having a sense of humor. Any tips on how to carry out this process? I'm having trouble with this, considering I have so many attitudes I'd like to have at the same time. Whenever I try it, it seems hard to do it along with my everyday mindfulness strategies. When do you be mindful of your surroundings and when exactly do you carry out one of the behaviors? I'm overthinking it maybe?

[Judymac]

Being mindful is not about blocking emotions, but understanding them. I have found that when I am experiencing fear, worry or any other strong negative emotion, I can move to gratitude and peacefulness much quicker once I understand where I have gone temporarily and why I have gone there. This links into my values and beliefs a great deal. Suppression of emotions is dangerous as they just pop up somewhere else.

[healthyhappymind]

Interesting post. It reminds me of how much I over-thought my mindfulness practice. Being a "thinker" I found that I was judging, or analysing my thoughts. My practice of mindfulness became a practice of being present with judgement. If that makes sense?

I tried to change that by noticing and releasing. I would notice a particular feeling I had, and then I would let it go and return to my breath/activity/or whatever or mindfulness practice I was doing. It took a bit of practice. I didn't try to avoid any emotion, just the analysing part of it.

Hope I made sense here

[piedwagtail91]

Just notice thoughts and let them go. No need to change them.
If they're thoughts that are with emotions then notice them, let them go and bring awareness to the sensations of that emotion, noticing where they are in your body. Really experience and feel it.
Even strong emotions can fade in about 90 seconds by letting go off the thoughts and being in your body.

[JonW]

In Opening The Hand Of Thought, Kosho Uchiyama writes, "During zazen (sitting meditation) we open the hand of thought that is trying to grasp something, and simply refrain from grasping."
We learn not to grasp at thoughts. Keeping the metaphorical hand open, rather than clenched, the thoughts just come and go. Works for me.
Jon, Hove