panic attack/anxiety

[noproblem]

hello folks

For 2 years ago i presented myself for my colleagues and at the same time i got panic attack from nowhere. back then i had lack of knowledge about panic attacks and anxiety, didnt knew how to handle it and vicious circle was the upcoming consequence of my thinking. i remember those days i woke up and shook every morning because of fear. i was scared of meetings, talking to my colleagues and specially presentations, and i am working as engineer. before that particular day, i had no trouble for presentation, it was quite normal for me, but after that evil day, i am totally crushed. but today i have some control of my emotions and know how to deal with, still i need to get rid of it for ever and thats why i want som help from u guys. How and what should i do to start with meditation. I resist medicin and i rather die then taking medicins

[JonW]

Hi noproblem,
Welcome to the forum.
I suffered from panic attacks through my teens and into my twenties. I wish I'd known about mindfulness then.
I'd say the best way into mindfulness is to do an 8-week course, which should provide you with a firm grounding in the practice.
If there are no group or 1-2-1 courses available in your local area, you might like to do the course via a book. The one I usually recommend is Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Mark Williams & Danny Penman. It comes with a CD of guided meditations.
Alternatively, you might like to check out the following site which offers a free online MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) course.
http://palousemindfulness.com/index.html
In the meantime, please feel free to post any questions here on the forum. We'll do our best to answer them.
All best wishes,
Jon, Hove

[noproblem]

good to hear that mindfulness is that good i will give the free website a try first, have been looking for some courses here in my city and it seems to be quite normal here, will go one after summer vacation. but how long does it take before i get some result?

[JonW]

"how long does it take before i get some result?"

There's no easy answer to that.
In simple terms, mindfulness is not about striving for a particular result.
It's not about getting anywhere.
It's about being with what is.
All this becomes clear as one progresses through the 8-week course.
Jon

[noproblem]

i will do as u say and will ask if there is anything i want to know

[JonW]

Hi there.
To clarify a little…
Most of us come to mindfulness with a specific goal in mind. We want to feel happier, less anxious, less depressed etc.
As we begin to practice mindfulness, those goals tend to drop away as we realise that mindfulness is not about striving for change. It's more about cultivating an awareness of what is already here.
For instance, mindfulness doesn't teach us how to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts. It doesn't teach us to stop thoughts or ignore thoughts. It teaches us to simply notice what is happening in our minds. Simply by noticing and gently turning towards, we learn to undo patterns of thinking that have been established over a lifetime.
It takes time, it takes patience, it takes self-compassion and it takes committed practice. A regular meditation practice is essential.
Here's the paradox. When I came to mindfulness three years ago, I longed to feel less anxious and to avoid depression. Three years on, I rarely get anxious and I haven't suffered a single spell of depression in that time. But I didn't get to this point by striving to feel less anxious or battling with my depression.
Mindfulness is an extremely subtle process. Again, it takes time, patience, self-compassion and a commitment to regular practice.
Mindfulness keeps its own hours. It will not be rushed.
All best wishes,
Jon, Hove

[KathleenH]

Hi Noproblem,

I also experienced terrible anxiety in the past. I found that once I stopped fighting and accepted the feelings for what they are...just 'feelings' I felt much better. It's the constant fighting which wears you out and causes the problems, the thoughts and feelings, left to their own devices will just wash in and wash out of your head like waves. Once you try to control them and get rid of them they have a habit of sticking around. Don't be afraid of them, sit with them and observe without engaging and you will find that they just fade.
All of this is covered in the Palouse online course which is fantastic.

As Jon said, results are very subtle, don't expect overnight, miracle changes. With regular practice you will slowly start to see changes. You get out what you put in.

Good luck with the course

K

[noproblem]

guys! u are giving me hope and I appreciate that. I will try not to meditate for some goals to achieve. today I am reading books about selfesteem and try to affirm a lot, believe me or not, it actually helps. Meditation is not only for anxiety, it`s much more and I really need it. I am going to begin with 8 weeks online meditation, will start in 2 weeks, have some trips to make and that´s why I cannot begin already.

[James123]

NP, I had virtually the same experience as you so please don't worry and ruminate about your anxiety. I was in a sales meeting, it was my time to speak (admittedly I had a terrible hangover, but this had been coming to a head for a long time) and I got about halfway through my first sentence, went bright red, thought I was going to cry, got up and pretended to be sick in the waste bin, went to the sales floor, grabbed my cars keys and drove to my mums. I had NO idea what was going on. Sure I'd suffered from anxiety/PA's in the past, but this was what I referred to as a 'new breed' of anxiety. Much more intense and full of emotions.

I only ever went back to that place of work once after being signed off for 6 weeks. I drove in to the car park, opened the rear door of my car to get my suit jacket (I had been full of angst all morning) and as I was putting my jacket on I looked up at the office and about 3 or 4 my colleagues were all looking out the window, staring at me. Boom, another massive wave of adrenalin. I got straight back in my car, drove off and never went back. Even after all this time I still look back at the point in time and think "Jesus, what must they have thought about me" as they saw me get out, get back in and drive out of the carpark.

Point is, this was 15 years ago. Hardly anyone talked about depression let alone anxiety and there was virtually no one. No one or group or professional team to turn to. I thought I was having some sort of breakdown and being someone who never shared his emotions or allowed people to see anyone other than confident James, it was a very lonely place indeed. Like Jon, if only I had known about mindfulness from the outset, my life would have made a lot more sense. It took nearly 20 years just to learn that these thoughts and feelings are just that. Thoughts and feelings. So simple yet no bugger told me that. At the time the meant the world.

Point is, you're lucky. You're not alone. There are hundreds of thousands the world over, just like you. And the vast majority of them in a worse place then you are right now.

So you're not alone. In fact you're very lucky believe it or not. You've made the first step and you have all the necessary tools in various guises in order ensure you know exactly what is happening and what you need in order to learn and grow.