Feeling subdued

[star]

Hi all, this is my first posting, forgive me if this is a FAQ. I am currently on week 4 of the 8 week 'Finding peace in a frantic world' course, and coming from a state of bad incident/depression i am finding it both easy ( which is worrying lol) and very helpfull indeed, mainly in that it has stopped damn thoughts going round and round, not sure if that is from addressing them or blocking them, but i have another question. I am not an overworked or actively stressed person, i am a calm worrier, since doing this i have found my state of mind to be even more subdued, i'm not sure if my lack of 'joy' is due to the depression (not yet had therapy) or if the constant reflection and wrestling with thoughts is inhibiting my ability to feel joyfull or happy, am i overdoing it or getting it all wrong i wonder? Thanks all, sorry if this is a bit vague.

[JonW]

Hi Star,
Welcome to the forum.
I'm about to sign off for the night so just to say I'll have a think about those questions you raise and get back to you on the morrow.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[KathleenH]

Hi Star

I think I know what you mean as I went through a period of this when I started, I then sat with this feeling for a bit and realised that I was actually calm and contented.

You say you are a worrier, which I have called myself in the past. I was so used to constant worrying and fretting that when these feelings subsided I was not used to the calm which was left and confused it for 'subdued'. The constant brain fuzz had been turned down. Once I realised what it was and stopped worrying about this new emotion, through mindful meditation, I relaxed into it and welcomed it.

Joy does not have to be a big emotion or one full of fireworks, it can be the calm, quietness of sitting and listening. Try to stop labelling emotions so much and just sit with feelings without names.

I hope that makes sense.

Good luck with your continuing practice

Kx

[star]

Thank you for your reply Kathleen, and yes your right, the brain fuzz has been turned down, and maybe i'm mistaking the calm for numbness, and i could be practicing a bit too hard maybe lol, but i shall continue and see what happens in the next 4 lessons.

[JonW]

Hi star,
KathleenH's advice is spot on.
I would add that it's worth bearing in mind that the intention here is not to block thoughts in any way, nor are we trying to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. We're simply noticing the thoughts that arise without getting hooked on the content of them.
It takes a while to get grounded in mindfulness practice so do be patient and, most importantly of all, be compassionate towards yourself.
Any questions, we'll do our best to answer them here on the forum.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[star]

Thank you Jon, yes i think initailley i was blocking the thoughts, but now i am at the stage of observing the feelings they generate and just allowing them to be what they are till they calmly subside. I have a long way to go with this, but it has been a great help to me so far, even at this early stage, and as a bonus, i seem to sleep so much better too : )

[MrBlueSky]

You will work through layer upon layer of feelings, emotions, thoughts and bodily sensations. This continues for quite a while (like years:). Approach the 'subdued' feeling using the same mindfulness approach you have learned in the book. Certainly approach it with a curiosity, openness and acceptance in whatever way makes sense to you at this point. Keep moving forward...

[star]

Thank you Mr BlueSky, i think trying to be mindfull all day is maybe a bit too much for me at this stage, i will have to let my mind have 'time off' now and then lol : )

[JonW]

"I think trying to be mindful all day is maybe a bit too much for me at this stage."

Nor should being mindful all day long be something to strive for. With practice and time, you might well find your mind being much stiller. You might well find yourself relating to thoughts and feelings in a different way. You might experience a lot more space in your life, space in which to respond mindfully to situations, rather than react. And you might find that you're able to catch yourself when you're not being mindful.
That's been my experience.
Also, it's worth bearing in mind that we're not practicing mindfulness to get anywhere - a better place, a happier place. Mindfulness is about being with what is, right now. The practice might take us to a better place, a more contented place. But we won't get there by striving. That's what most of us have spent most of our lives doing, and it doesn't work.
("Breathe, and let be." Jon Kabat-Zinn)
All best wishes,
Jon, Hove