New to Mindfulness and a bit concerned

[Paqman]

Greetings everyone.

I'm a 42 years old male from Québec/Canada.

I just got into mindfulness a few weeks ago after doing a lot of researches on my current situation (General Anxiety Disorder). This situation came to me all of a sudden and I've very distressed for a few months. But since I am the kind of person that gets obsessive (another of my personal traits) on finding solutions to my trouble, I finally ended up reading about Mindfulness and Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

I have been practicing progressive muscle relaxation (from jackobson) for the last 6 weeks. This is starting to be effective and provides me with moments that I look forward to every days. I usually do between 30 to 45 minutes each day.

While doing that, I started reading the "Full Catastrophe Living" as well as "Where ever you go, there you are". I started practicing the 45 minutes body scan (from the official audio CDs) and the 10 minutes breathing meditation every day for the last 10 days. I usually do the meditation when I wake up in the morning before going to work, and the relaxation after my day of work.

What concerns me right now is that, even though I saw in the books that my mind would wonder off from time to time while meditating, I was not expecting my mind to become a full on electric storms of thoughts and ideas bombarding me constantly. So I try to acknowledge the ideas and let them go, but as soon as I return to the body scan, bang, another thing that my brain wanted to tell me appears. This goes on for the full 45 minutes. So I usually loose track of the body scan (even with the audio cds playing in earphones) while my mind is in full hyper active mode. I know that JKS's teaching is to accept the situation as it is and not try to force anything on my mind and not to have specific expectations.

All I am wondering is if its something that should be expected, from someone suffering from anxiety, after 10 days of practice?

-Paqman

[JonW]

Hi Paqman,
Welcome to the forum.
I know nothing about Progressive Muscle Relaxation so I can't comment on that.
With regards to the proliferation of thoughts that you're noticing, that's far from unusual.
Someone once made the following observation. For years you've been driving up and down a busy motorway every day, not really noticing how busy and hectic it is, as you've been concentrating on your driving, listening to the radio etc. One day, you decide to stop the car and stand in the middle of the motorway as cars whizz by you in both directions. Suddenly you're overwhelmed by the speed of everything around you.
Starting mindfulness practice can be a little like that. Maybe for the first time you're starting to notice how busy your mind is.
I asked a friend last week how many thoughts did he think the average person has per day. His answer: around 40. The actual answer is something like 76,000. He almost fell off his bar-stool when I told him that.
So, at this stage, I wouldn't worry about the number of thoughts you're having. Just keep noticing them and return to the breath, or whatever you're using as an anchor. And quietly congratulate yourself every time you notice your mind wandering. That's mindfulness in motion.
We're a friendly bunch here on the forum and will always try our best to help or advise. So please feel free to fire any questions at us, or to join any of the other conversational threads on the forum.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[Paqman]

Hello Jon

The observation you wrote makes a huge lot of sense to me! What a nice way of imagining about what I currently experience.

I will do as you say and congratulate myself when I return to the breath or body scan.

The number of thought we have each day is huge! Wow, impressive.

Thank you very much for the time you took to write this, I appreciate it a lot.
I also noticed that you seemed a friendly group by what I've read today.

-Paqman

[Bethany]

Anxiety is caused by an overactive fight-or-flight response. This has its roots in the subconscious mind. Your mind's job is to keep you safe. When sees something that even has a remote connection to the past, it sounds an "alarm." This alarm is the fight-or-flight response. And that is what is leading to your anxiety and wandering mind.

Relaxing is the first step in stopping this response. The progressive relaxation is a wonderful tool. But now you need to start observing your thoughts. Let your mind wander, but be curious about your thoughts. Ask "Why do I think this?" If the thought doesn't feel good, it is probably fear-based and can be redefined.

This process of questioning is the next step and will do a lot of help your mind feel safe.

[Paqman]

Thank you Bethany, I will keep this in mind.

I Can't wait for my next meditation. I think I will do both relaxation and meditation tonight to practice what you and Jon just wrote to me.

I'm happy that I've found this forum.

[Gareth]

I've been meditating for five years now, and my mind is still incredibly busy.

It's the minds job to think; it generates thousands of thoughts every day. Some of them useful, most of them pointless, sometimes they're even downright nasty.

Over time, practising mindfulness taught me a new relationship with my thoughts. This has been nothing short of life-changing. But it does take time, patience and self-compassion, so hang in there.

[JonW]

My pleasure, Paqman.
Like Gareth, my mind is still busy. I've been meditating daily now for almost three years.
I'll say this though. My mind is a lot less busy than it used to be and I've learned to relate to my thoughts in a different way. I have learned to differentiate between practical, useful thoughts ("I must remember to buy new toothpaste. That bill needs paying") and thoughts based around rumination (on past events) and nagging worries (about things that are probably never going to happen).
The practical thoughts I'm able to note and act upon, without dwelling on them. The ruminations and worries I simply notice, accepting that they are passing mental events and not facts.
The difference this has made to my life is enormous.
Mindfulness takes practice and it requires a lot of patience. The most important thing is to be compassionate towards yourself. The second most important thing is to be wary of turning mindfulness into another form of striving. Especially at the beginning, it is tempting to compare today's meditation with yesterday's and find yourself wanting. It's worth bearing in mind that meditation is a way of checking in with yourself, being with what is in the moment. If you find it difficult to meditate on a certain day, that isn't a failure. Being with that difficulty is being mindful.
I hope you stick around here on the forum. Also, you might like to check out the main site: http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org
Loads of great stuff there.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[Paqman]

Gareth and Jon,

I see what you mean: The thoughts will always be there. It will never be a complete silence.

I have read that in Zin's book but I guess that it didn't totally register until now. Its very interesting what you have written and it will help me in my future meditations.

I think that I was expecting to see a progression, but now I know where the progression needs to be. Its how in interract with my thoughts.

Patience and dedication are traits that I have so I will see in time what mindfulness will bring to me.

Another question, I am starting all this on my own with books, youtube videos I found on this site and now with your help. Is it really better to start mindfulness in a teaching center? (I don't see a lot of them where I live)

[JonW]

"I am starting all this on my own with books, youtube videos I found on this site and now with your help. Is it really better to start mindfulness in a teaching center? (I don't see a lot of them where I live)"

Good question.
My opinion is that there's no substitute for a good teacher who can guide you through the 8-week course and give you a firm grounding in the practice. So it's well worth checking out if courses are available in your area.
If they are, don't rush into it. Check out the teacher's credentials, testimonials etc. And talk to him or her before you commit. Ask questions. Make sure you're comfortable with the approach they offer. Take your time on this.
I know people who've been taught purely through book. Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Williams & Penman seems to be a popular recommendation.
I would say this though. When grounding yourself in the practice, try not to take too many different voices on. Choose an approach that you feel comfortable with and stick with that. If it starts feeling complicated, then it might not be the right approach for you.
As Kabat-Zinn says, it's simple, but it's not easy.
The challenging part is sustaining the practice.
All best,
Jon

[Paqman]

Thank you Jon.
I will check again in my area and look up the book you mentionned.

Thanks all to be so newbe friendly. I really appreciate it.

Btw everyone, I had my first meditation after our discussion. Your insights were very helpful. It helped me approach each thoughts with a different perspective.

Thank you.