The breathing space: advice please!

[monkey]

Hello everyone. I hope you're all having good days. I wanted to ask for some advice about practising the breathing space in FPIAFW please.

I've been practising from the book for a few months but did meditate for some years on and off before that. I really like the breathing space but I'm finding I get hung up on the sequence and I lose focus. I'm ok with the focused and general breathing, but during the first stage it says to bring awareness to what's there in terms of sensations, thoughts and emotions. How do people do that?

Sometimes I do a little body scan but it feels a bit structured for such a short practice and then I worry I haven't focused on thoughts or emotions. Sometimes I try to have a general awareness of my body but it's often not specific enough to be able to sustain it. If I do body, thoughts, emotions separately it starts to feel like a checklist, and I rarely am able to discern much for the last two. Do people focus on their body in some way and just observe what thoughts and emotions come up during that? Or just focus on what seems strongest, eg if you are feeling very angry perhaps that's what you start with?

All advice or perspectives welcome! I often have a little 'you're not doing this right' or 'next it's this stage' thing running in my head, so the simpler I can make it, while still having some structure, the better, I think. Thank you!

[JonW]

Hi monkey,
I treat the breathing spaces as mini-meditations so whatever arises in terms of thoughts and feelings, I gently notice, then return to my breath as anchor.
If I take a breathing space on a train or bus, I tend to meditate on the raw sensation of sounds around me.
Whatever feels right for you, basically. Nothing more complicated than that.
Do let us know how you get along.
Good things,
Jon, Hove

[piedwagtail91]

I don't practice this one that much. ThoughI had to practice when I taught it..
I noticed and let go of my thoughts first then let my awareness move down my body noticing the sensations and linking them to emotions.
Then letting go of the emotion label and staying with the body sensations. Then it was on to stage 2.

[Matt Y]

Hi Monkey,

What you are doing sounds fine. You might find that if your focus on the body is good, then you won't notice many thoughts and emotions, especially as you become calmer.

It sounds like you might be holding the instructions a bit too tightly, and that you might benefit from taking a more relaxed approach. Think of the instructions as guidelines or suggestions rather than rules you must follow. Feel free to experiment and do what seems right for you.

And when those specific thoughts you mentioned arise: (you're not doing this right or next it's this stage), recognise them as anxiety driven concerns that you can question, keeping in mind that there is not really a right or wrong way to practice, nor a specific series of steps you must follow.

[francogrex]

...Do people focus on their body in some way and just observe what thoughts and emotions come up during that? Or just focus on what seems strongest, e.g. if you are feeling very angry perhaps that's what you start with?...

The latter for me seems more natural: focus on what is most salient in that specific moment. Do not get trapped into rigid sequences of instructions, for your meditation could turn into something mechanical, rote and generally ineffective.

[piedwagtail91]

this is a breathing space script that i wrote for one of the group, sometimes it's easier to read the words and then pick bits you want. this lasts around three minutes, depending on pauses. the (p) is a pause.
it's not entirely mine, it's my version of my mentors (and Mark Williams)

Beginning this breathing space by making a definite change in posture so that it embodies a sense of dignity (p) a sense of being awake (p) with the back erect but not stiff and allowing the shoulders to be dropped and relaxed and opening the chest.
And beginning Step One- Becoming Aware (p) really aware of your experience in both mind and body in this moment (p)
What thoughts are here? (p)
As best you can acknowledging them as passing mental events (p3)
Perhaps putting them into words.
What feelings or emotions are you aware of? (p)
Turning towards any sense of emotional discomfort or unpleasant feelings (p)
Acknowledging feelings and emotions and as best you can accepting that's how it is right now in this moment (p3)
What sensations in the body are you aware of (p)
Perhaps scanning the body to become aware of any tightness or bracing (p)
Seeing what's going on right now in this moment and stepping out of autopilot. (p)
And now Step Two- Gathering
Where we narrow the focus of attention down to the sensations of the breath in the belly (p)
Feeling the sensations of stretching as the belly rises with the in-breath and the sensations of relaxing as it falls with the out-breath (p)
Letting the awareness rest gently on the breath (P)
Feeling the sensations of the in-breath for its full duration and the sensations of out-breath for its full duration (P2)
And whenever the attention wanders bringing it gently back to the breath
Using the breath as an anchor to the present moment (P4)
And now in Step Three-Expanding the focus of awareness around the breath to take in the whole body (p)
As if the whole body were breathing now (p3)
Aware of your posture (p2)
Your facial expression (p2)
Sensations on the skin and from right inside the body (p7)
Holding in awareness all the sensations in your body right now just as they are (p7)
And if there are particular parts of the body where there’s any tensing or bracing (P)
Gently opening yourself to them (P)
Perhaps breathing into them on the in-breath and softening and letting them go on the out breath (P3)
Ending this breathing space by bringing this sense of expanded more spacious awareness into the next moments of your day.

[monkey]

Thank you everyone. I think that you are right, Matt and Franco - I think I'm getting too hung up on the sequence as written and feeling that if I'm not managing to focus then I'm failing. I've tried to relax my grip a bit and just see what's there rather than being too prescriptive about that first stage.

Thank you Piedwagtail, that's a nice script, and nicely non prescriptive as well.

I think this is one of the blips after the initial change of starting the practice in earnest. It's very very helpful to have this forum to discuss and ask questions, thank you all!