I decided that I start a journal where I record my daily meditation experience every night. I don't hope to start feeling anything profound too soon, just a daily update on how long I practiced, whether I sat at all, etc.
Today I proceeded to meditate for 10 minutes, after a work out and shower in the afternoon. I had just done neck bridges, so when I did sit down my thighs and back were quivering. I sit on a small cushion in the Burmese position, a peculiar combination of thick thighs and big feet prevents me from assuming the Lotus (tried before too) .
Fidgeted for quite a while then readjusted my sitting. This time too I was feeling uneasy, but I decided to ignore it, and focused on calming myself down. I seemed to relax into a comfortably erect posture, and attained very deep calm. Almost sleep like, could be because of the cold shower, then the alarm rang. 5 minutes.
My meditation journal
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watson2182
- Posts: 39
it is good to have a daily progress in your daily living. keep it up good work.
Yeah, consistency is key to anything, and it's the sticking point for most people (including me). Journaling is great for that.
I found myself struggling today. Couldn't go into "observer mode" and was getting swept away by my thoughts and feelings repeatedly. I shot for 10 minutes, but gave up at 7. My breathing was tight. My back was aching. I kept stressing on my posture being improper and not being able to calm down. I tried again, made it 9 minutes and 40 seconds before giving up. Oh well. I'll experiement with my posture a bit before sitting again tomorrow.
I found myself struggling today. Couldn't go into "observer mode" and was getting swept away by my thoughts and feelings repeatedly. I shot for 10 minutes, but gave up at 7. My breathing was tight. My back was aching. I kept stressing on my posture being improper and not being able to calm down. I tried again, made it 9 minutes and 40 seconds before giving up. Oh well. I'll experiement with my posture a bit before sitting again tomorrow.
mickeytee wrote:Oh well. I'll experiement with my posture a bit before sitting again tomorrow.
A great attitude; it will serve you well. I started at 5 minutes per day and built my practice from there.
Thanks for the encouragement Gareth.
I made a really poor decision today, I didn't meditate in the afternoon after showering. Instead I was trying to pointlessly format books so that I could print them at 50 pages per page.
I meditated after my pre bed shower a while ago for 8 minutes. I sat in a room in the dark where it gets filed with mosquitoes if you leave the door open. So there were a couple of them biting me. It acted as a point of concentration however, and it got a lot easier to meditate. I just focused on the sensation of the biting. That was cheating in a way though.
Have you guys heard of a tale about Vivekananda? When he was young they were playing hide and seek and he sat down to meditate instead. His chest was filled with mosquitoes till it looked like hair, but he didn't get up. Crazy.
I kinda dwelled now and then while meditating on how I'd journal it, that's definitely something to watch out for. It'll go with time.
I made a really poor decision today, I didn't meditate in the afternoon after showering. Instead I was trying to pointlessly format books so that I could print them at 50 pages per page.
I meditated after my pre bed shower a while ago for 8 minutes. I sat in a room in the dark where it gets filed with mosquitoes if you leave the door open. So there were a couple of them biting me. It acted as a point of concentration however, and it got a lot easier to meditate. I just focused on the sensation of the biting. That was cheating in a way though.
Have you guys heard of a tale about Vivekananda? When he was young they were playing hide and seek and he sat down to meditate instead. His chest was filled with mosquitoes till it looked like hair, but he didn't get up. Crazy.
I kinda dwelled now and then while meditating on how I'd journal it, that's definitely something to watch out for. It'll go with time.
Keep us posted on your journals. We'll try to share them somehow.
Being aware of the sensations of mosquitoes biting you is absolutely not cheating. Mindfulness is just about being aware of your experience, and that was absolutely part of your experience.
Being aware of the sensations of mosquitoes biting you is absolutely not cheating. Mindfulness is just about being aware of your experience, and that was absolutely part of your experience.
Yes but, pain is still an easier sensation to focus on. It's much harder for me at the moment, to maintain a "diffused awareness" of all the subtle things happening in my consciousness when it's relatively quiet.
Today I meditated for 11 minutes. I have a habit of controlling my breaths because of respiratiry problems and mouth breathing growing up. I've read it's better to let the breath flow while meditating, and that it'll slow down on its own.
Other than that, it was a cyclical process of associating with thoughts, snapping out of it, brief clarity and repeat. It got less severe towards the end of the session however.
I'm mostly unhassled by obligations at the moment, but it won't last. So I have to solidify the habit. Make it more time and cue bound. Longest recent streak I've had with any new habit was 12 days.
Today I meditated for 11 minutes. I have a habit of controlling my breaths because of respiratiry problems and mouth breathing growing up. I've read it's better to let the breath flow while meditating, and that it'll slow down on its own.
Other than that, it was a cyclical process of associating with thoughts, snapping out of it, brief clarity and repeat. It got less severe towards the end of the session however.
I'm mostly unhassled by obligations at the moment, but it won't last. So I have to solidify the habit. Make it more time and cue bound. Longest recent streak I've had with any new habit was 12 days.
Sat for 15 minutes.
Initially it was difficult to let go of thoughts, but last few minutes were the deepest I've experienced sitting so far (the deepest experiences I've had were while commuting by train; reading Ken Wilber's description of non-duality; while having a really good batch of curd
)
However, I can only achieve this calm when I sort of help myself along by changing my thoughts. Asking questions like "What is this feeling?" or "What is this Sound?" "Who is feeling this?". Only then can I view all of it from far away. Today after getting up, the feeling of gravity was gone for a while (not from poor blood circulation) which is an indication that I had gone somewhat deep. I could feel gravity, but it felt like the room was a box. I don't know what that means.
I can't seem to go too deep yet. My first few experiences were ones of pure joy (even came to tears twice, once on the back of my father's bike looking up at a cloudy sky, and once reading Denial of Death). Maybe it's because I know what I'm supposed to feel, and am unconsciously trying to induce it, that I can't have it.
Apparently there's a technique called NDSI, but I don't want to read anything instructional about meditation just yet.
Initially it was difficult to let go of thoughts, but last few minutes were the deepest I've experienced sitting so far (the deepest experiences I've had were while commuting by train; reading Ken Wilber's description of non-duality; while having a really good batch of curd
) However, I can only achieve this calm when I sort of help myself along by changing my thoughts. Asking questions like "What is this feeling?" or "What is this Sound?" "Who is feeling this?". Only then can I view all of it from far away. Today after getting up, the feeling of gravity was gone for a while (not from poor blood circulation) which is an indication that I had gone somewhat deep. I could feel gravity, but it felt like the room was a box. I don't know what that means.
I can't seem to go too deep yet. My first few experiences were ones of pure joy (even came to tears twice, once on the back of my father's bike looking up at a cloudy sky, and once reading Denial of Death). Maybe it's because I know what I'm supposed to feel, and am unconsciously trying to induce it, that I can't have it.
Apparently there's a technique called NDSI, but I don't want to read anything instructional about meditation just yet.
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