Started off well. Now struggling.

[not_neo]

It's been a few good months since I've been practicing. I'd kept my routine pretty simple so far. Normally a mix between a guided meditation with my teacher, focusing on my breath and focusing on day-to-day activities like walking, eating, etc.

To be honest, I started meditation because of my anxiety issues. And focusing on breath seemed to do wonders for me. I had even started to distinguish between my thoughts and myself. I could recognize anxious thoughts as thoughts and they'd lose their power.

Lately though, when I focus on my breath, I can also still get lost in thoughts. It's not that I'm not paying attention on my breath. Every time I used to have a straying thought, I'd bring my attention back to my breathing. But now, I know I'm aware of my breathing and still having other thoughts too. While I still look at them in the same non-judgmental fashion, I really miss the sort of clarity I'd get when I could focus purely on my breath.

I know meditation isn't about the absence of thought. But the breath would help me sort of center and then start off you know. It's kinda throwing my off track to be honest. Is this normal?

[Gareth]

Lately though, when I focus on my breath, I can also still get lost in thoughts.

I've been meditating for nearly five years, and I still get lost in thoughts sometimes. About a year into my practice, I had a meditation where my attention was near-perfect, staying on my breath throughout. I remember thinking that I had cracked this meditation thing. I can't believe just how wrongheaded that was. Sometimes the mind is quiet, sometimes it is busy; this will never change.

See this topic I wrote about a year ago: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3717&p=7494&hilit=changing#p7494. A time when it felt like the mindfulness rug had been pulled from beneath my feet, all the peace it had given me seemed to have disappeared.

[paulpsych]

I second what Gareth says. I think I expected that my meditation would continue to deepen and "improve" over time; but it's not like that. I see it now as a lifetime process which - like other aspects in my life - will wax and wane.
I think the trick is to avoid seeing individual meditations as "good" or "bad", but to view meditation as part of what you do which gives you (and others around you) a benefit over time.
I hope that helps

[Matt Y]

Maybe you could look at your experience in a slightly different light?
Perhaps your awareness has developed, and now you are able to observe thoughts even as you focus on the breath, whereas before you couldn't?

The sort of clarity you used to get through focusing on the breath is also available through focusing on thought.

You may like to practice for a while without always returning to the breath. That kind of 'anchor' is really only needed when you are unable to tolerate something (e.g. anxious feelings). Otherwise, you can focus on anything at all.

For some ideas on developing your practice beyond the breath, you may like to check out the meditations on thoughts and / or emotions, half way down the page here: http://melbournemeditationcentre.com.au ... ditations/

If you do, please feel free to report back on how you went.

[not_neo]

@Gareth, @paulpsych, @Matt Y:

Thank you for your quick responses. And sorry I took so long to acknowledge. I actually took time off from informative resources on meditation and got back to just enjoying the process.

Yes the practice feels different now. No I no longer have breath as an anchor. Yes I occassionally worry if my practice is effective. But ever so often I catch myself catching myself getting carried away with thoughts. Those moments have significantly increased. And to a nervous guy like me, taking a moment to say 'Hey man, you're just dreaming this up' is huge improvement.

Thanks again

[piedwagtail91]

maybe not what you're looking for but this happens, i still seldom get beyond 4 or 5 breaths before my mind wanders off.
when i began i thought that number of breaths would increase and i'd be able to sit for longer before my thoughts followed their own agenda.
but in my case it didn't.
my ability or awareness to recognise when my mind wandered has improved so that i'm not lost in thought quite so long.
when i began i feel my mind wandering lasted quite some time, now most of the time i'm right on it.
mind wander is just that , an occupational hazard.
for me lots of mind wander is a good practice, lots of opportunity to develop your awareness.

[Matt Y]

Maybe not what you're looking for but this happens, i still seldom get beyond 4 or 5 breaths before my mind wanders off.

I think this kind of down-to-earth honesty is just what the meditation and mindfulness communities need more of. Too many teachers seem to be happy perpetuating the view that they have rock solid concentration skills and perpetual calm.

The mind is actually hard wired to wander - and it's a damn good thing it does. If we could concentrate perfectly, we wouldn't even be able to cross the street safely!

[piedwagtail91]

thanks matt.
i found honesty the best policy when i taught mindfulness to a couple of my friends mates.

[watson2182]

Mat y is right.

[Gareth]

I think this kind of down-to-earth honesty is just what the meditation and mindfulness communities need more of. Too many teachers seem to be happy perpetuating the view that they have rock solid concentration skills and perpetual calm.

Here here.