Holding Anxiety

[DJLSFC]

and while I'm here

I find it a constant struggle to hold on to any anxiety, fear or sadness in the mind and the feelings in the body when i practice working with these emotions. I have suffered from anxiety for a good while and have plenty of events to look back on or to imagine and I can bring to mind some really bad things that could happen. There are certainly some recent events that have caused me to have the worst period of my life so far and most of the time I cant seem to get anxious or sad while practicing, no body sensations and certainly no holding on or growing these. I have managed to get over (for now) my issues with anxiety and am overall really happy in life but I would love to be able work with this practice.

I was thinking of maybe starting again with brief sessions and building from there. Good idea? any other thoughts on this? Thanks, Dave.

[MiM]

I don't have any suggestions for you, but I am experiencing similar difficulties. For me it goes beyond meditation, I cannot really replay any feelings in my mind - ever. I can remember that I have been angry, sad, happy et.c. but I can only weakly connect with how it felt.

[JonW]

Am I right in thinking that these difficulties arise during the 'turning towards difficulty' meditation when we are invited to bring a difficult thought to mind or focus on an unpleasant physical sensation?
If so, I'd suggest leaving that meditation for now. It shouldn't be forced.
I'm not a big fan of the idea of bringing a difficulty to mind. It's always seemed somewhat contrived to me.
Have you tried the four-stage breathing/body/sound/thought meditation over 20 minutes? If that's unfamiliar to you, feel free to pm me and I'll happily talk you through it.
All best,
Jon/Mindful Pilgrim

[DJLSFC]

Hi Jon, yes, the turning towards difficulty. I can get brief moments of anxiety going and sometimes the body sensations, but they are gone in a flash and all the guided practices I've tried seem to assume that you have been successful in feeling these thoughts and sensations. The one I've be trying recently is the Ron Siegel one, and he suggests trying to grow the sensations - I find that impossible and I may well leave it right now as you suggest.

I have tried something very similar to your suggestion below but not over 20 minutes. I assume its 5 minutes on each of the 4 stages?

[MindfulnessJar]

Hi DJLSFC,

Jon's advice to leave this meditation for the moment sounds wise.

What I would say is that through regular meditation practice you become more in tune with your difficult feelings as they arise in your day to day activities. When these difficult feelings arise naturally in the course of everyday life, I have found it useful to take a moment or two to sit with them.

I think the natural reaction is often to turn away from or ignore uncomfortable feelings. By approaching them gently from the edges and learning to sit with them for a short while, we can learn to allow them and accept them little by little.

I hope that makes sense!

Vicky

[DJLSFC]

Thanks for the response Vicky, and yes it makes perfect sense . I've certainly noticed this year since I have been practicing every day for longer and longer periods that I am much more in tune with my thoughts, and in the most part, I am able to stop and observe, and then move on. Its made such a huge difference for me.

I will take your and Jon's advice on this one. Thanks. Dave.

[JonW]

Hi Dave.
I agree. There seems to be a general assumption that we can all bring our attention to, say, the big toe of the left foot, and encounter a world of sensations. Quite often, in my experience, there are no sensations at all being felt in certain parts of the body. I think it's Mark Williams who advises 'Register no sensation' at that point. Which seems to work for me.
Vicky's remarks are spot on in my opinion.
And yes, it's five minutes on each for that meditation.
Cheers,
Jon
mindfulpilgrim.com

[Karen]

Hi. Just chipping in. Yes it is the Proff Mark Willaims body scan where he says register now sensations. We are not try g to make sensations happen, just register what's there right now.

[blloyd]

I'm going to be the party pooper here. Personally I would not recommend meditation as a means of resolving anxiety. It's a bit like using makeup to treat skin cancer.

If we're talking purely about the feeling of anxiety then we are talking about the noticeable presence of adrenaline. Perhaps you'd feel the adrenaline mainly in your gut, chest, body.

We only produce adrenaline for one reason, and that is because we have apprehended a perception of threat. So to be holding on to the anxiety means to be holding on to the threat. Threat can be abstract of physical.

If the feeling of anxiety has passed then the threat is resolved/defused and the adrenaline is back to normal levels.

I can't see why you'd actually want to feel the anxiety. And yes, if the anxiety is there, then please sit with it as the first step toward resolving/defusing the threat.

[JonW]

' Personally I would not recommend meditation as a means of resolving anxiety.'

And yet millions of people have found it to be the best way of resolving anxiety for more than 2500 years.
Sorry to hear it hasn't worked for you.
All best,
Jon