Everyday Mindfulness

Hi everyone.

I'm new here and I'm new to meditation. In fact, I meditated for the very first time yesterday.

I wore my Series 4 Apple Watch and intentionally tracked my heart rate while meditating to the free session the Headspace app offers.

My heart beat so fast and topped to 132bpm, and I was so out of breathe by the time my mediation was complete.

What's even more interesting is that I felt like I had fallen into a trance-like state. I could feel my body in a way I had never felt before. I could feel my thoughts and consciousness leaving my body and otherwise busy mind. In fact, for the first time in a very long time, my mind was so quiet. I suffer from a number of high anxiety-driven issues, and it felt so incredible to rest my mind to that extent that I started to CRY. Tears literally ran down my face as my breathing seemed controlled. When I looked down at my watch though, I realized that my body had gone through something intense. I felt changed, like I had entered some other realm, spiritually.

I'm scheduled to see a new therapist this week. I'll be sure to share this experience with him and with you all on this forum if anyone reads this and finds it interesting enough to continue learning about it with me.

What could this be? Anyone out there reading this have any experience or insight with this?

I've never really experienced anything like this, but then, I am a very nonspiritual person. I have heard several people describe intense experiences like this, and I've read about it lots too. I think that it's good that you are seeing a therapist soon, where you can talk these things through.

The tears are good in my non expert opinion. Emotions need to be felt, and that includes emotions that we didn't know that we had buried. However if these are intense emotion, then maybe this is something that you need to talk through with a professional. Make sure that your therapist knows what they are talking about when it comes to mindfulness.

When it comes to the heart pounding, my advice is to ignore the watch and whatever it tells you your heart rate is at. That is sure to create a whole cascade of thinking. Try and zoom into the feeling of your heart pounding. Allow it to be exactly as it, and really try to feel it.

I think that you successfully launched yourself into trance mode; how did you feel after that, apart from the questions that you asked yourself? Was it relaxing? Stressing? If you felt better, lighter after that, then you're a lucky guy, you got yourself a way to do free therapy (not that you shouldn't see the therapist, though.)
If that was more of a stressing opinion than anything else, then I think you should mention it to your therapist, maybe you had your body react to a panic attack or something along those lines while your mind was in trance.

Be careful not to get attached to various states reached through meditation. This is not about experiencing a certain state. It's about being with the experience - pleasant, unpleasant or indifferent - that arises in the moment.
Try to approach each meditation with beginner's mind. You are not attempting to replicate what you have experienced previously. You are being with the experience that is arising now.
Let go of expectations. Just be.
Jon

That's a high heart rate. Heart rate typically slows during mindfulness meditation. And a trance like state is also unusual. I'm glad you had that experience, but it's not the usual. Maybe the anxiety affected your meditation. Thats not surprising, but hopefully over time, the anxiety will be mitigated through practice.

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD youre doing it wrong

Try to make your heart beat go higher, you funny man!