Practicing when tired/with emotions?

[gerronwithit]

Hello to everyone. I am on a sedative drug for anxiety so an drowsy most of the time. When I try to practice I find that I am in a semi-dream state a lot of the time and my mind seems to take-off on flights of fancy. I try to bring myself back when I remember to!

But my Q is this: when meditating when tired (or drowsy) are we mindful THROUGH that tired/drowsy feeling or are we aware of the tiredness as a distinct feeling, separate to our attention?

This is hard to explain because it is an experiential thing. I think I am asking, are our tiredness and attention fused or do we have our awareness focused ON the tiredness as well as the breath, as we step-back and de-fuse from it?

The same regarding emotions is something I wonder about. Are we mindful THROUGH our emotions, or when we see them do we de-fuse and look ON them with our mindful attention?

[JonW]

Hi gerronwithit,
Welcome to the forum.
Here's the thing. We are not trying to de-fuse anything. Nor are we attempting to 'go through' emotions. We're simply bringing awareness to our experience in the moment.
We are not looking to change anything.
Change will either happen or it won't.
This is not a goal-oriented practice.
If you are tired, maybe adjust your posture. But the important thing here is acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that you are tired. Being with our experience right now.
If you fall asleep during meditation, try not to be hard on yourself. It happens to the best us.
All good things,
Jon

[gerronwithit]

Thanks, Jon. So we see THROUGH it rather than look ON it?

[JonW]

If, by 'see through' an emotion, you mean that we notice it, recognise it as a passing event and then let go of it, then yes.
'My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items I notice shape my mind.' (William James)
Cheers,
Jon