Meditation Question

[EarthKid]

I'm trying to meditate, but I'm still kind of confused as to what exactly I'm supposed to do.
Some things I've read say that when a thought enters your mind, acknowledge it, and then go back to focus on whatever it is that you were doing. Other sources have said to let your thoughts play out while meditating, and to only actively let them go if you get wrapped up in them. Like it's okay to let your mind wander while listening to meditation music, but if you find yourself replaying conversations in your mind or whatever, then go back to focusing on the music.
So which way works best?

[JonW]

Hi EarthKid,
I'd highly recommend getting some structure to your meditation. It's very difficult to do without some sort of structured approach. Either find a teacher or take a look at a good book - Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman is the one I usually recommend.
Good luck.
Cheers,
Jon

[Matt Y]

Hi EarthKid,

It's okay to be confused about what's 'best' to do in meditation regarding thoughts. What's best is different for different folks, different on different days, and different depending on how long you've been meditating. In other words, there's no 'best' or 'correct' approach'. There is only what seems to be working on any given day. That means you'll have to explore and experiment for yourself.

I advocate exploring your thoughts, rather than anchoring, or focusing the mind. Other people, as you point out, say more or less the opposite.

If you're interested, here are just some of reasons I advocate exploring your thoughts.

1. Trying to continually focus the mind can be very frustrating. It can seem effortful, like hard word and not relaxing at all.

2. In my experience, it's not as important (or useful) to be focused as it is to relate to your thoughts in a kind, curious and accepting manner.

3. Trying to settle the mind is like trying to go to sleep — often counter-productive. You don't make the mind calm, you allow it to be calm.

4. Exploring your thoughts allows you to understand them better. You become more familiar with what fuels them. With this understanding thoughts often subside quite naturally.

5. Thoughts aren't really a problem unless you think they are.

6. If you're trying to be mindful, then letting your thoughts be a part of the meditation makes more sense than dismissing them (by continually refocusing), as you'll lose awareness of the thoughts each time you refocus.