What does letting go mean?

[niroxki]

In mindfulness meditation we are told to "let go" of thoughts, intentions, etc. But what is letting go exactly? How does it happen? When we are letting go, what are we exactly doing? What is the change that is happening in a person who is letting go? During meditation there are times that one can let go of his or her thoughts and urges easily and there are times that it is more difficult, what causes the difference?

Excuse me if my question seems to be too basic, but I think letting go is an important part of practice and it is important to understand and do it as good as possible. I have thought on these questions and I have some answers, though not that clear, for myself. I would be very grateful if you share your experience with me.

[JonW]

Hi niroxki,
Welcome to Everyday Mindfulness.
Great question.
In my view it's all in the noticing. If I simply notice a thought arising and allow it to pass, rather than be caught up in its content, that's a letting go. Similarly, with a difficult emotion. In simply noticing it being felt rather than allowing it to trigger a chain of thought, that's a letting go.
It's very much about realising that, in the moment, there is a space which allows us a choice in the way we respond.
All good things,
Jon

[arguseyed]

Hi Jon,

Can you please elaborate on the noticing thoughts part? I always struggle to understand how to do that. When I first started meditation, thoughts used to bounce off me. They would come and disappear as soon as they came. Is that what noticing is?

Thanks

[niroxki]

Hi Jon,
Thanks for your reply. I specially liked the last line of your response:

It's very much about realising that, in the moment, there is a space which allows us a choice in the way we respond.

I'll wait to see if I can get more views from others and then I'll share my own view to learn from your feedback. arguseyed's question about noticing is also interesting.

Thanks again

[JonW]

'In essence, the practice is to notice when the judging is happening so we can recognise the space in between what we’re judging (the stimulus) and the judging itself (the reaction) and choose to make a change. The power to choose our responses comes with an awareness of that space.'
(Elisha Goldstein)

[niroxki]

Hi All,
I wanted to post how I think about letting go here but had a few mood swings and I couldn't organize myself to do so. However these mood swings encouraged me to pursue meditation more seriously. Now this is how I generally think about "what letting go is", but may be I see it differently if I practice more. I will be thankful if you correct my misconceptions or add other things that you find missing. So here it is:

I think letting go means "not reacting habitually" or "not reacting just out of habit".
A thought arises and we habitually follow it, whether it is useful or not. Anger arises and we habitually want to fight. Fear arises and we habitually want to run away. Some pleasant feeling arises and we habitually want to have more and more of it.

Now there is nothing wrong with habits per se, in fact in mindfulness practice may be we are developing some useful habits. However, and quite frequently, our habits put us on courses of action that are not suitable or sustainable, and are possibly harmful. We in these habitual responses, ignore or forget or miss what's really important, or what's really useful, in what context we are acting, and what the consequences of our actions are. In meditation we practice to first slow down and then look carefully at how our default habits(good or bad) work, hoping that we may find some space to look at what we are doing and stop the unskillful ones.

So to slow down our minds and also those habits we try to develop our concentration skills. Also we try to pay attention to the phenomena from different non-habitual points of view. (e.g. Looking at how does the thought feel instead of just following it habitually, how does my mind feel, how does the water feel on my skin.)

And finally, the most fundamental letting go comes not wanting to react mindlessly. Our meditation practice helps us in being so. Finding a new way of looking at our conscious experience and seeing it from a different perspective now we see there is no need to follow unskillful habits. So we very naturally don't want to follow them and so they are let gone!