Newbie questions

[Diesel14a]

Hey guys,

I've recently started practicing mindfulness meditation about a month ago and I'm also trying to incorporate daily mindfulness aswell. I've been doing 15 minutes of seated mindful meditation in the morning upon waking and before going to sleep at night, and trying to be generally more mindful during other tasks too.

The reason I have started practicing is due to the fact I have anxiety and depression and I thought that it may be of some benefit. I have noticed even after a month of practice that it has been beneficial for me, I feel generally less stressed and more positive to some degree.

I am confused about a few things though, and I feel they are holding me back.

First of all, I find mindfulness to be quite exhausting due to the fact I am constantly trying to focus and bring my attention back to the present moment when all my mind wants to do is go back to its habitual ways of rumination. Is it normal for mindfulness to make the mind tired, and if so will this get better as time goes on? Will mindfulness get easier in general as time goes on? Or am I just trying to hard too fast?

Secondly, is mindfulness about trying to become a non judgemental person? For example, I have certain hobbies like sports cars, action movies and Asian food. If I practice mindfulness, is the goal of mindfulness to remove all judgements about everything and make everything equal? Is it about removing ones desires, likes and dislikes, attachments, and the need for self improvement?

For example I would love a nice new sports car, and I am saving up for one at the moment. Is that wrong from a mindfulness perspective, because it's a form of "like", attachment, desire, self improvement etc.?

At the end of the day I don't want to become someone that walks around and looks at objects/people and has absolutely no opinion about anything at all. Likes, dislikes, desires and attachments make up someone's personality. Without them, wouldn't you just become a thoughtless and opinion-less living organism?

I hope these questions make sense.

[Matt Y]

Yes, mindfulness will get easier over time; and yes, you are probably trying a bit too hard. Mindfulness will get easier if you don't try so hard. Go easy on yourself. Think of it like learning to walk. That probably took you about a year. And you weren't in any hurry. Just one little step at time. You'll get there almost without trying if you don't make mindfulness a goal. Just let it be a gentle learning process.

Secondly, is mindfulness about trying to become a non judgemental person?

No. I think that's probably not very useful, nor even possible. The idea is just to become a bit more aware of the habitual judgments you make. Like the one about thinking that you are not mindful / present enough! With mindfulness the aim is to become less judgmental, but more discerning. That is, instead of evaluating things on the basis of knee-jerk, automatic reactions, you think them through in a considered fashion, looking at any subject from various perspectives in order to make wise decisions.

[Sensi]

I don't want to become someone that walks around and looks at objects/people and has absolutely no opinion about anything at all. Likes, dislikes, desires and attachments make up someone's personality. Without them, wouldn't you just become a thoughtless and opinion-less living organism?

Hi

I used to worry about this alot too, since I've been told I can be very opinionated

Somone real smart once told me: ''It's OK not to have an opinion sometimes'' Along with mindfulness, that little sentence has avoided many an argument.

Like Matt said, I think mindfulness simply helps to make you aware of how many opinions and judgements we automatically have, sometimes without even realizing it.

[Diesel14a]

Thanks guys

[Gareth]

Just to remember that it's only your opinion or your judgement is a powerful act.

[FeeHutch]

Just to remember that it's only your opinion or your judgement is a powerful act.

Gareth is absolutely right. I also find it helpful not to have any goals or things I want to get from my practice. I practice mindfulness to be more in the moment and to accept what I find there. I'd say I am more aware of the difference between what I think and what are facts and don't assume they're the same any more but I didn't aim for that I think it's just a natural part of the practice

Plus you can think too much. To start with I seemed to spend a lot of brain power wondering if I was being mindful and then panic that wondering if I was being mindful meant I wasn't being mindful at all! It is tiring. Once I started trusting my practice more it made a big difference