mindfulness ego and pride
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 11:46 am
Hi I'm new to this forum but here is my story , I have been always someone with a lot of self esteem alot of pride and very ccompetitive I'm an intern doctor ,the first I experienced anxiety was when I got sick badely last year , somehow my mind kstarted to work like crazy at the time trying to find solutions to be well again wich didint really help it just started to analyse everything leading to over thinking a lot of sleepless night, anyways after I got better the surprising thing is that he didint stop I was rumuniating about the past why did it happen to me its like my mind or my ego to be precise didint like the weakness and kept fighting what happen at the time i wasant aware that I was putting gas on fire by following this thoughts searching for pride again .
Reading about mindfulness led to give it a try and boy it was shocking how my brain would literally refuse to stay still I would even say trying to meditate made me a lot more anxious by bringing those suffering moments and I started to notice how my reflex was to fight those memories making things a lot worse , and how my mind would immediately go to the mode of flee or fight especially the fight mode and just resist all the way
The funny thing is when I stop fighting it change come I just observe my mind working and trying to help and I just feel appreciation and compassion toward it , all I do is to **Gently ** move my attention to my breath and the fact that I'm alive only than you would see ur mind as a llittle scared child , your child and you can calm him just the same way you made him think in the first place just observe it don't judge and boy its very hard no to judge theese days and watch everything rise and fade and be glad your here monitoring dont engage ... So yea mindfulness work give it a try ...
Reading about mindfulness led to give it a try and boy it was shocking how my brain would literally refuse to stay still I would even say trying to meditate made me a lot more anxious by bringing those suffering moments and I started to notice how my reflex was to fight those memories making things a lot worse , and how my mind would immediately go to the mode of flee or fight especially the fight mode and just resist all the way
The funny thing is when I stop fighting it change come I just observe my mind working and trying to help and I just feel appreciation and compassion toward it , all I do is to **Gently ** move my attention to my breath and the fact that I'm alive only than you would see ur mind as a llittle scared child , your child and you can calm him just the same way you made him think in the first place just observe it don't judge and boy its very hard no to judge theese days and watch everything rise and fade and be glad your here monitoring dont engage ... So yea mindfulness work give it a try ...