mindfulness ego and pride

[tunesx9]

Hi I'm new to this forum but here is my story , I have been always someone with a lot of self esteem alot of pride and very ccompetitive I'm an intern doctor ,the first I experienced anxiety was when I got sick badely last year , somehow my mind kstarted to work like crazy at the time trying to find solutions to be well again wich didint really help it just started to analyse everything leading to over thinking a lot of sleepless night, anyways after I got better the surprising thing is that he didint stop I was rumuniating about the past why did it happen to me its like my mind or my ego to be precise didint like the weakness and kept fighting what happen at the time i wasant aware that I was putting gas on fire by following this thoughts searching for pride again .
Reading about mindfulness led to give it a try and boy it was shocking how my brain would literally refuse to stay still I would even say trying to meditate made me a lot more anxious by bringing those suffering moments and I started to notice how my reflex was to fight those memories making things a lot worse , and how my mind would immediately go to the mode of flee or fight especially the fight mode and just resist all the way
The funny thing is when I stop fighting it change come I just observe my mind working and trying to help and I just feel appreciation and compassion toward it , all I do is to **Gently ** move my attention to my breath and the fact that I'm alive only than you would see ur mind as a llittle scared child , your child and you can calm him just the same way you made him think in the first place just observe it don't judge and boy its very hard no to judge theese days and watch everything rise and fade and be glad your here monitoring dont engage ... So yea mindfulness work give it a try ...

[Gareth]

Best of luck in your journey.

Consistent practice is very important. Remember to go easy on yourself.

[jdandre]

Interesting thread. Since you started off talking about the ego and pride, you might consider exploring the "self" and how you actually exist.

I recommend this article as a starting point - it's written by a psychotherapist, and is extremely insightful:

"You" don't exist: Why an enduring self is a delusion.

[tunesx9]

Thanks both of you for responding , i want to ask a question its about sleep , meditating makes u aware about the fact you are thinking staying mindfull all the day would mean noticing everytime your mind wonder and getting him back on track , but when you are ready to sleep and your mind start wandering what is best to do stop all the thinking process or just focusing on breath till you get sleep wich is harder cause you are making effort any help ?

[JonW]

Try a 20 min sitting meditation before you repair to bed, tunes. Should still the mind a treat.
Best, Jon

[jdandre]

Hi, for me better better sleep is a "side benefit" of my practice.

First, a little about my practice:

When I meditate, I'm learning not to get caught up in my thoughts and other mind-made activity. I focus my attention on an anchor (my breath, a mantra), and when I become aware of thoughts I guide my attention back to the anchor. In doing so, I'm not indulging the mental activity.

The more I develop this skill, the more I can apply it to my "non-meditating" time (as you put it, being mindful through your day). This benefits sleep because I'm not as caught up in what my mind is doing.

It may take a while to notice this benefit, or sometimes - no matter how well your practice is going - you just have a racing mind that draws you in. One exercise that has worked for me in the past (and for most people I've shared it with) is to pick a number at random between 500 and 900, and start counting backwards in increments of 3. If you pick 747, you would count 744, 741, 738, and on and on. The subtraction is just complicated enough that you need to focus, and it will draw your attention away from your racing mind. It's kind of like an advanced version of "counting sheep." If you lose your spot, pick another number and start over.

My best advice, however, is this: develop a consistent meditation practice (one you do every day), and work to transfer that skill to your non-meditating time!

Best wishes.

[tunesx9]

Thank you jdanre . God bless you

[mindfull_student]

When I meditate, I'm learning not to get caught up in my thoughts and other mind-made activity. I focus my attention on an anchor (my breath, a mantra), and when I become aware of thoughts I guide my attention back to the anchor. In doing so, I'm not indulging the mental activity.

The more I develop this skill, the more I can apply it to my "non-meditating" time (as you put it, being mindful through your day). This benefits sleep because I'm not as caught up in what my mind is doing.

I am new to mindfulness (been meditating for only a year) and I can really relate to your experience. Learning not to get caught up in thoughts and other 'mind-made activity' (as you quite nicely put) has improved my life quite a bit. I still have a long way to go!