I need help. Still confused about meditation.

[Uncharted]

So I have been researching mindfulness for quite some time and have checked out youtube videos on how to meditate. Meditation can be daunting starting out because the mind tends to think about so many things and the idea of getting away from our thoughts or whatever the case may be can be daunting because we do feel attached.

Having said that, what I understand about mindfullness is that you're not trying to eliminate your thoughts when you sit down and do a session. Rather, you're being present with your thoughts. You're letting them be, you're not judging them. You're just watching them. So this is what I understand about mindfullness meditation.

Having said that, I still don't know how to do it even though I have been trying. I don't know if I am doing it right. I need to make sure. So you're not supposed to try to shut off thoughts because by doing that, you will think about them. I get that. But when you watch them, how do you not judge them? How do you not do things when you don't control your mind?

Like I'm confused. You're not supposed to try to stop your thoughts. So that means that if you sit down and tell yourself not to judge your thoughts, that in of itself becomes a thought. So you're still thinking. You're thinking about not judging your thoughts. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? That's what happens with me. I sit down, close my eyes. Whatever comes about, I try to not judge it and I try to let it pass. But deep down, I still want to think about it, even if I try not to. Even if I tell myself just allow everything to be, I'm still thinking the thought, ''Just allow, Just allow.''

So that's why at times I feel it's not doing anything. Because whenever you try to be mindfull, you're just thinking the though try to be mindfull. I don't understand how exactly you do this. It is so confusing. And whenever I meditate, after the session I feel really tired and dehydrated. It's not a great feeling. It's almost a hung over feeling.

[JonW]

Hi Uncharted,
Mindfulness is likely to be confusing if you go about it having watched a few YouTube videos. It's very difficult to get a good grounding in the practice that way.
If there no classes local to you, it might be worth checking out online teachers. Otherwise there are a number of books that offer an excellent introduction. I'd recommend Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. The book takes you through the 8-week course and comes complete with a CD of guided meditations.
Also feel free to stick around this forum and ask any questions that arise. We're always happy to help.
Best wishes,
Jon, Hove

[Isabel]

Hi Uncharted
I think if you approach Mindfulness from the angle of trying to create a certain way of thinking or state of mind then you are likely to miss the point of it. You will have thoughts and judgements of, or feelings about, those thoughts whilst trying to be mindful. The idea is to keep coming back to whatever it is you have determined to focus on (e.g. the breath, the body, sounds etc) even though those thoughts/feelings are happening. You are not actively trying to do anything other than focus your attention to a particular sensation. I don't find it helpful to think of 'watching' my thoughts as this leads me into more active thinking which mindfulness is trying to get away from. I have completed an eight week course in Mindfulness and this has helped me to understand it. I think a course or books is the best way to understand it.

[Uncharted]

Thanks guys. but you aren't kidding. A book or course... I saw a youtube video that says all books do is distract you from the true way to meditate which is supposed to be simple.

[Gareth]

If you can't find/afford a course, then I would recommend picking up 'Frantic World' and working through it. You can always come here and ask questions along the way. We have some great topics for each week of the course, for you to read about the experiences of others who have undertaken it.

Everyone's experience of the practice is different, and while books may not be right for some people, it doesn't mean to say it's the case for you. Why not give it a try and see how you get on?

[JonW]

"I saw a youtube video that says all books do is distract you from the true way to meditate which is supposed to be simple."

Well, it is simple, but it's not easy, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says. The hard part is sustaining the practice.
A book is never going to replicate the experience of working with an experienced teacher but "live" courses are beyond the means of some, for financial or geographical reasons. But I know quite a few people who have a flourishing mindfulness practice and Williams & Penman's Frantic World or one of the Kabat-Zinn books sufficed in terms of getting them started.
When I started my mindfulness adventure two years ago, I followed Frantic World and attended a "live" 8-week course simultaneously, and that worked for me.
It really does depend on the individual.
All best,
Jon

[Matt Y]

Since when are youtube videos the source of valid information?

[piedwagtail91]

you don't judge your thoughts you notice them, let them go as you take your awareness back to where it was before, the breath, a body sensation or whatever, and keep doing that.

[Uncharted]

Since when are youtube videos the source of valid information?

Here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wirV265ZYSw

Leo is the guy who made the video. He says that books, courses, and equipment are just distractions. Says you don't need any of that to meditate cuz it's supposed to be something you can do without all that.

Well I did end up buying the 8 week course. I have read 2/3 of it and am enjoying it. But I will start the program soon. I just like reading it for now.

Mindfulness is starting to make better sense. It can create anxiety if you try not to mess up with the program. But I'm thinking if one just follows the program and has true intent with it, it can do something. I'm guessing it won't help if you keep questioning it.

[JonW]

"Leo is the guy who made the video. He says that books, courses, and equipment are just distractions. Says you don't need any of that to meditate cuz it's supposed to be something you can do without all that."

It would be odd if Leo was saying that in respect of mindfulness in which meditation is central to the practice but no more important than understanding the concepts that underlie it.
I would always advise someone to sign up to a course with a recommended teacher if that is feasible for them. For others, a good book like Frantic World or any of the Kabat-Zinn ones may suffice. But nobody is going to get a decent grounding in mindfulness by looking at a few YouTube videos. That might suffice if somebody simply wanted to learn a few meditation exercises. But there's a lot more to mindfulness than that.
Cheers,
Jon, Hove