Woah!
Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:02 am
I have just had a profound experience. It was during my nightly sitting meditation (guided by JKZ), just a few minutes ago. It was at the part at which I was focusing awareness on thoughts. Everything was going as it usually does, where I was getting caught up in some thoughts, bringing awareness back, (attempting non-judgment) and able to see some of them for what they are, as passing events in the field of consciousness. Then I had a string of moments where I was able to see all of the thoughts in a row very clearly as just thoughts and sort of naturally focused the awareness on the awareness itself, and BOOM. It was suddenly an experience unlike any other I've ever had.
Everything kind of zoomed away into a tiny spec (not visually, but also visually, too, if that makes sense), and my body briefly felt almost gone. So, everything was far but also there and "here." This is all in an instant. It startled me, actually, and I was semi-gradually (but I think it was actually pretty quickly) back to thoughts and physical sensations. My heart was pounding fast and I was pretty amped up from the shock of it. I was able to stay composed and not open my eyes or move or anything and finish the MP3, but barely.
This is the kind of thing I would have called you a fruitcake for saying only a few months ago, and wouldn't have really believed. I just passed my 9 week mark of daily meditating, and was honestly hoping to have some sort of deep experience at some point. So much for non-striving? But no, I feel like I am, at least sometimes, able to accept what *is* in the moment without looking for more, and I feel like maybe I was doing that while this thing happened. I don't know what to make of it. And, of course, the skeptic that I tend to be, I am questioning whether it was some sort of hallucination or what. Either way, it was intense and fascinating, and am kind of sitting here slackjawed and in awe.
Am I tripping? What do you suppose that was?
I appreciate any feedback as I don't have a face-to-face community of meditators, and kind of consider you all, as well as the authors of the books I'm reading, as teachers.
Dave
Everything kind of zoomed away into a tiny spec (not visually, but also visually, too, if that makes sense), and my body briefly felt almost gone. So, everything was far but also there and "here." This is all in an instant. It startled me, actually, and I was semi-gradually (but I think it was actually pretty quickly) back to thoughts and physical sensations. My heart was pounding fast and I was pretty amped up from the shock of it. I was able to stay composed and not open my eyes or move or anything and finish the MP3, but barely.
This is the kind of thing I would have called you a fruitcake for saying only a few months ago, and wouldn't have really believed. I just passed my 9 week mark of daily meditating, and was honestly hoping to have some sort of deep experience at some point. So much for non-striving? But no, I feel like I am, at least sometimes, able to accept what *is* in the moment without looking for more, and I feel like maybe I was doing that while this thing happened. I don't know what to make of it. And, of course, the skeptic that I tend to be, I am questioning whether it was some sort of hallucination or what. Either way, it was intense and fascinating, and am kind of sitting here slackjawed and in awe.
Am I tripping? What do you suppose that was?
I appreciate any feedback as I don't have a face-to-face community of meditators, and kind of consider you all, as well as the authors of the books I'm reading, as teachers.
Dave
