lost my way a bit

[calm_one]

Hi,

Just looking for a bit of support, I've really struggled the last couple of weeks of the 8 week programme. I was up to week 5 but then life got busy so I found it hard to follow the course.

I have done some sort of meditation every day even if its been just the breathing space.

However I'm getting less and less mindful. I even struggle with mindful showering.

I think I am trying too hard to do the course and I should just let it be and repeat weeks as and when needed.

I'm also thinking of paying forking out and paying for a 8 week MBCT course as I think a class would help me more.

I know some of you on here have done courses, do you feel they have been more valuable then just following the book?

Thanks
X

[Gareth]

but then life got busy

It is the greatest paradox of mindfulness that it is is impossible to truly grasp until you have been practising for a while. Being busy is an especially good reason to meditate, more mindfulness will give you the space and clarity to make decisions more effecticely. I don't know about anyone else, but mindfulness makes me infinitely more productive.

That said, the past is the past. It's done now so don't waste too much thought on it. You still sound really keen on mindfulness, and the course is going nowhere. It's waiting for you whenever you are ready.

[JonW]

Hi Calm_one,
I think it's Mark Williams who suggests in his book that, if you get waylaid during the 8 weeks, it might be better to return to week one when the time is right.
I'm a firm believer in the 8-week course and a firm believer that it pays to follow it as close to the letter as possible. The course, as devised by Kabat-Zinn is beautifully calibrated to give you a solid grounding in mindfulness.
I started with the Mark Williams book/CD course and, during week three, was fortunate enough to find an 8-week class starting in my area. So my grounding was in book and class. The class with "live" teacher was invaluable.
I'm soon to do a Breathworks course which I'll be reporting back on for this forum. So watch out for that.
Wishing you all good things, Jon

[larorra]

be gentle on yourself. Start again do it at your own pace. I didnt follow the 8 week faithfully it took me double the time to complete it! Actually thinking of reeating it again for a wee "refresher". Good luck!

[BioSattva]

I think what tends to happen when we arrive at mindfulness methodology is we have already been awash with concepts and ideas as to how best deal with our busy minds and then we have to start thinking about what all this discussion of 'beginner's mind' and 'letting go' and 'judgemental thoughts' is, and of course things get 'busier' - we are busy installing mindfulness into our lives.

Often because we feel need to install the promised emprically-touted benefits of mindfulness in our lives as urgently and as quickly as possible, we busy ourselves with the details and the literature, etc., and this intense busy-ness kind of revs us up and we don't feel calm or peaceful, or less stressed at all and we give up for a period of time.

If we can see the futility of such an intense process, we can take a step back and allow for MBSR practice to seep into us more slowly - to see that our relationship to it needs to be organic and not digital - we can't just download the whole methodology and discipline into our heads as if we were a hard drive and then just double click on an application that drops us immeditely into tranquility. There is a saying here in China "You can't pull on a plant to make it grow".

If we see the teachings as water poured on a soil containing mindfulness seeds, we can allow those seeds to grow and develop at a healthy, normal rate, and enjoy that process. Continually pouring water on them; akin to obsessing over the conceptual details of mindfulness methodology, will only drown them and hinder their growth, however. Mindfulness practice needs space to breathe - to take in and integrate what is happening internally beyond teachings.

Maybe your 'losing your way' was your body and mind enforcing this space; maybe your seeds were being watered too much and needed some dryer ground in order to healthily take root and grow? As Gareth says; the seeds are obviously still there. Looking at your practice as a plant, rather than a body of information may help.

What effort does it take to eat food when hungry? None. What effort to drink when thirsty? None. What effort to absorb and practice mindfulness when stressed? None. Trust your natural biology to take care of things - you don't need to do anything. If you don't need it, you don't need it (for now ) - simples.

Bio.

[calm_one]

Thank you for the replies, I think I was trying too hard. Now I'm just letting it be, doing something everyday without worrying about how much or the type of meditation. Its most just 8 min breath and body. And I do yoga 2 - 3 times a week. I try and do that as mindful as possible. I do really enjoy it

I think I will sign up to that 8 week live course, just waiting for the teacher to reply to my email

Thanks again xx

[liza118]

Hi all

I'm fairly new to the mindfulness program and am having a similar problem, but mine is about letting go. I feel like the logical part of my brain 'understands' the concept, but as soon as I am more than 10mins into any meditation I find it hard to even sit still, there is so much going on in my mind.
If I am doing a lying down meditation, at this point I will often become overwhelmed with all the stuff going on, and more times than not I've found myself zoning out and falling asleep, almost as an escapsim. Obviously this means I can't 'progress' further than a certaim point. But what several posts on this thread have said about there being an information overload very true to my situation.
It is almost as if meditation has unleashed so many thoughts and emotions I didn't even consciously realise were there. For about a week or two I found it paradoxical that this calming practise at first has the opposite effect.
I do have an extremely overactive mind, so perhaps it'll take longer for me to learn to let go. I will persevere - but I just wondered if anyone else has had this kind of experience or worry near the beginning, and could lend a hand/some affirmations?

Thanks.

[JonW]

Hi Liza,
Welcome to the forum.
It would be useful to know which practice you're following. Are you following a book course or attending a class? Are you following the course to the letter? Do you skip days?
It's not uncommon for people to find mindfulness challenging at first.
Assuredly, you'll find no shortage of people willing to help on this forum.
So do stick around.
All best, Jon

[FeeHutch]

Hi Liza and welcome to our community,
I can relate to what you write about feeling you don't have the time to sit still. My own discomfort with this became apparent really quickly to me. It wasn't just when I sat to meditate, it was all the time. I seemed to be running to stand still all the time and it was exhausting. Even with a well established practice I still sometimes have to remind myself that I do have 20 minutes or how ever long I am practicing for, I read somewhere that the only bad meditation is the one you didn't do and it is true for me.
You aren't on your own, there are lots of us here to share the journey with you.
I look forward to getting to know you better.

[liza118]

Hi,

Thanks for your encouraging messages.

Jon - I'm currently following a book course with occasional use of CD recorded meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I a full-time student, so it's hard to find time (and money) to attend a weekly class, especially in term time, and that I'm in a different city during the holidays. I wanted to be able to follow the course from wherever I am, hence the appeal of the book. It would be interesting to hear what people here have to say about the benefits of the class sessions vs reading alone, nonetheless. Or if there are other methods there are of accessing mindfulness.

Fee - thanks for your words of encouragement - it really helps to know I'm not alone! How would you say you began to conquer this urge to go and do the next thing on your list? I feel my difficulties lie in responding too readily to events around me and don't allow myself the space to just exist. Forgive me if I sound like a novice at the moment, but I am very much looking forward to continuing this journey with you all.


Thanks,
Liza