Everyday Mindfulness

Hi all

I have realised that throughout the day I notice my negative thoughts a lot after I get embroiled in them.

I then use the noticing to become more mindful. However, I'm becoming concerned by the frequency of my negative thoughts (I have been ruled by my negative thoughts for the majority of my 29 yrs).

Is this normal? Why am I having so many negative thoughts?


Thanks

Hi Jenna,

I'm a newbie too. I'm sure some of the more experienced meditators here will be able to offer some wise words but since I too have a lot of negative thoughts, I thought I'd reply.
Firstly, I think its great that after a moment if negativity, you're able to reflect upon it and notice it. Id say thats already a pretty huge accomplishment. Noticing how you've acted and how you're behaving while you're out in the real world is no small achievement and is something I'm working in myself.
I think one thing we could try to remember is that our negative thoughts are just thoughts. Which is to say that they're just one side of a story, just one opinion. In my case, I tend to assume that my negative thoughts are The Only opinion that matters because it came from within me, but its not necessarily true. And in fact for me, its often not the case.
Mindfulness let's me try to practice the skill of detatching my thoughts from their automatic acceptance. I'll probably never be able to stop various thoughts from popping into my head, but I don't have to believe them all or act on them all. And if I can observe them popping in and out in a more distanced way, then they don't even have to carry any positivity or negativity with them. They'all just be events which I choose not to get caught up in.

As for why we have so many negative thoughts, its hard to say and I'm sure the reasons could well be different for everyone, but perhaps one reason is that the more we pay attention to them and get caught up in them, the more sensitive we become to the circumstances that caused them, and it goes around a bit like a vicious circle. One way to break the cycle with mindfulness will be to mindfully acknowledge the thoughts as they arise, but not be swept up by them or taken in by them. Just because they're our thoughts, that doesn't make them true.

I'm not at the stage yet where these things are easy for me but its what I'm working on with a bit of mindfulness every day (or as many days as I can manage).

Be kind to yourself, you're already doing great!

Hello
One of the first things I noticed when I started practising mindfulness was how the most neutral of thoughts could lead to negative thoughts and emotions in a few seconds. I'd find myself rehashing old memories or going through arguments I hadn't ever had. I found it shocking but didn't beat myself up about it. If anything realising it was such a big deal and made such an impression that recognising when my mind was doing this became much easier to spot. My practice also grew to include compassion and kindness to myself and I use this to acknowledge, examine and observe my thoughts.

Thank you monkey mind and feehutch.

Monkey mind I do so often tend to think negatively and get caught up in them and I discredit the positive thoughts.
I am working on it just like you. I tend to be fine whilst in my bubble but as you day the real world is hard.

Fee- is it just practice?

I will continue to practice compassion. Today is a tough day.

X

could it possibly be that as you're being more mindful you're able to be more aware of when you're having negative thoughts.
obviously i don't know but is it possible that you're just more aware of them and not really having more of them?
a few people that i've spent time with have told of similar things.
using the emotions and sensations in the body stirred up by negative thoughts and meditating on those sensations, just breathing into them and allowing them to be there without criticising or judging yourself is a pretty good way to lessen their impact.
mark williams has a short meditation called (something like) working with difficulty on his mindfulness cd.

Hi Jenna,

Do try to remember to be kind to yourself and patient with yourself. You're already noticing important things about your thought habits, which is really great and an important step along the way.
The real world is full of distractions, which is what our minds love, so its easy to get sidetracked with stray thoughts, and before we know it, our thought habits are up to their usual tricks. I think of my daily dose of mindfulness as helping to build up my focus and patience to be able to resist these tempting familiar thoughts. I'm sure practice will help me along the way. In my newbie opinion, regular practice is generally a good thing for everyone.

I think its the way of the world/human nature to dwell on negative thoughts. Your mind is trying to watch out for you and looks for any possible threat so is searching for threats/negativity. Positive things it does not see as a threat so pays little attention to them.

Like many people, I can dwell on past problems and worry about future ones but being mindful enables you to be aware of this. This is the first step (and initially it can seem like you are noticing negative things even more). Then you begin to realise that you have a choice, you can watch the negative thoughts and choose to let them go rather than dwelling on them. You can also choose to look for positive things. This does require practice, it's not instant. The 'how to train an elephant' thread is based on this - you train an elephant (in this case your mind) step by step, by practising and more practising. Some of the practising can be tough, some can be fun. Many of the weekly tasks we are working through involve looking out for more positive aspects of life, becoming aware of the simple pleasures of life, of just appreciating being. I am not an expert at this and have lots more practising to do but I have noticed that I am able much more of the time to take a more positive attitude, to not make bad stuff worse by fretting so much about it - its doesn't always work but I feel my positivity is starting to dominate and that I recover from setbacks more easily and more quickly than I used to.

I too find reading mindful/positive tweets a good counterbalance to the negativity we are surrounded by. One I loved recently was "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many" a superb illustration of how we can be grateul for what we have. Another one that JKZ uses with people with all sorts of problems is "if you're still breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you".

Steve

Actually you could look at the negative thoughts as something of a reminder that all thoughts are merely discrete events that come and go in the make up of our daily lives. Thoughts are not facts or the truth, just our interpretation of something in our minds. This is important to remember because it is one more step of understanding in our journey to a more peaceful existence.

At the beginning of my practice, I used to think that thoughts were bad things. I was wrong. They're just thoughts, you can't stop them, as Jon Kabat-Zinn said "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." But these thoughts are not you, you are much bigger. Allow the thoughts to be, welcome them with open arms even.. It sounds crazy I know, but it really does help.

The most important thing now is to keep practising, every day if possible.

piedwagtail91 wrote:using the emotions and sensations in the body stirred up by negative thoughts and meditating on those sensations, just breathing into them and allowing them to be there without criticising or judging yourself is a pretty good way to lessen their impact.

I totally agree - I consider Kabat-Zinn's quote in my signature one of the keys to successful mindfulness - the dynamics of mind-body connection needs to be felt and experienced at all times.

Gareth wrote:At the beginning of my practice, I used to think that thoughts were bad things. I was wrong. They're just thoughts, you can't stop them, as Jon Kabat-Zinn said "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." But these thoughts are not you, you are much bigger. Allow the thoughts to be, welcome them with open arms even.. It sounds crazy I know, but it really does help.

The most important thing now is to keep practising, every day if possible.

Yes - I agree again.

Here are some of the quotes from various teachers from my blog post last month, Thoughts vs Reality:

Mindfulness for Dummies (2010), p50:

"By fighting the pain, you still feel the pain, but on top of that, you feel the emotional hurt and struggle with the pain itself. Buddha called this the ‘second arrow’. If a warrior is injured by an arrow and unleashes a series of thoughts like ‘why did this happen to me’ or ‘what if I can never walk again’, that’s a ‘second arrow’. You may inflict this on yourself each time you feel some form of pain or even just a bit of discomfort, rather than accepting what has happened and taking the next step."

Ex-Harvard Positive Psychology teacher, Tal Ben-Shahar, coined the phrase "Learn to fail, or fail to learn". Mindfulness is an unfolding, not an exploding. Having a negative thought is not a failure - it's part of the opening - 'growth pains' so to speak as one grows towards a healthier state. Pain felt in the body as one stretches during yoga is not a sign of failure - it's a sign of future flexibility.

Dr. Andrew Weil’s Mind-Body Tool Kit illustrates the power of negative thoughts over the body, and the 'toxic' physical reactions to negative thoughts quite nicely:

"You close your eyes and imagine a lemon. You imagine every aspect of this lemon, the color, smell, feel of it as you cut into it. Then imagine bringing a slice of it to your mouth and sinking your teeth into it. ... chances are, simply imagining that you are eating the lemon will make you start to salivate. [...] this exercise shows us how our thoughts affect our bodies. If you can make your mouth water simply by thinking about eating a lemon, imagine what is going on in your body when you’re thinking you’d like to drive right over the car in front of you”

Practicing compassion towards ourselves - and accepting and caring for the negative dimension as if it were a crying child and one is the comforting mother limits the impact and cuts the negativity feedback cycle.

Although I don't like to directly quote Buddhists, Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh writes in The Heart of Buddha's Teaching (2008), p32-33:

"When we drive through a city, our eyes see so many billboards, and these images enter our consciousness. When we pick up a magazine, the articles and advertisements are food for our consciousness. Advertisements that stimulate our craving for possessions, sex, and food can be toxic. If after reading the newspaper, hearing the news, or being in a conversation, we feel anxious or worn out, we know we have been in contact with toxins."

The above quote is supported by Jon Kabat-Zinn in Full Catastrophe Living (2005), p 415-416:

"The constant agitation of our thinking minds, which we encounter so vividly in the meditation practice, is actually fed and compounded by our diet of television, radio, newspapers, and movies. We are constantly shoveling into our minds more things to react to; to think, worry, and obsess about; and to remember, as if our own daily lives did not produce enough."

One can significantly reduce negative thoughts - akin to wind/burps generated from the low quality 'food' we 'consume' - by consuming higher quality 'food'. For example; if one doesn't look at an air-brushed model in a magazine and compare oneself, then one doesn't encounter the consequences. This is what Thich Nhat Hanh calls limiting 'toxic consumption'.