Not Working

[JonW]

I'll be up for restarting the course. Like a refresher, as it were.
Note to self: buy a bag of raisins.

[FeeHutch]

Fab.
So, this weekend I'll put it together and post a separate thread for each week. I was planning on starting week 1 again on Sunday if that's OK with you both?

[Cheesus]

Fab.
So, this weekend I'll put it together and post a separate thread for each week. I was planning on starting week 1 again on Sunday if that's OK with you both?

Absolutely!

[Vixine]

Jenna, I'm sorry you're feeling it's not working... from what I know, it can take some time and patience and work... but I understand the frustration. I hope whatever you choose will feel right to you and if you do leave mindfulness for now, you can always return as many of us have done more than once.


Fee and all, I'm at the end of the 2nd week of the 8 week course but I think it might be worth it for me to start over and participate in the threads with you guys. I think that could be beneficial and one way to keep motivation up (as I was discussing on the other thread). I'll keep an eye out for the posts!

[JonW]

And Jenna, please don't be hard on yourself if it's not working for you right now. It does require whole-hearted commitment and maybe you're unable to give that right now for one reason or other. If you do decide to stop for the time being, remind yourself that you've learned a few things and, as Vixine says, it's always waiting for you if you decide to return to it.
Wishing you all the very best, Jon

[JonW]

Reading Susan Murphy's Upside Down Zen tonight and came across this quote which might be useful to anyone, newcomer and experienced meditator alike, when faith in mindfulness begins to waver:
"The practice of meditation is called 'practice' because you have to give yourself to it almost blindly, and put up with its difficulty, in order to grow truly skilful in the art of holding yourself open. It's called practice because you are training and habituating the mind to a radically different set of responses than it has been settled in since childhood. But it is a practice of bringing your entire intentional and focussed will to bear on the infinitely delicate task of opening, becoming willing."
Terrific book.

[monkeymind]

Hi Jenna,

I can really sympathise with your frustrations. I feel like I'm in quite a similar situation to you and it's because of that that I find it hard not to chip in with my comments here.
Maybe my views are not be too helpful - I'm not an experienced meditator and I guess I have problems similar to your own, so maybe my ways of thinking are too similar to your own at times to be constructive. Nevertheless, as I say, it's hard not to chip in here:

Firstly, as a more objective external observer, I would say that mindfulness does appear to be working for you at least a little.
If you look at the various posts you've written on this forum, and recall the changes you've been making and the progress you've made, I think you'll be able to see that for yourself. The kinds of observations you've noticed about your thinking are all good demonstrations of someone learning and practicing mindfulness
Perhaps the changes aren't as far reaching as you'd like (yet), but there are some unquestionably positive changes that you should be proud of. Very proud of!

Secondly, I might be wrong but I get the impression that perhaps you were just having a bad day, or a bad period at the time you wrote this post..? Until then your posts have been honest, but positive. Noting when things have not been easy but also noting when things have gone great, or been helpful. You've made many more positive comments and observations than negative.
Don't make any decisions now about giving up. Rather, delay that decision until you feel you're really being objective about all the benefits it has brought you so far.
Everybody is different and some people will pick up mindfulness quickly, while others will tune into it more slowly. That's neither good nor bad, it's just how things are. Don't beat yourself up about not being more expert by now, just try to be a bit patient with yourself and acknowledge how far you've already come and the progress you've already made. I think you've been doing really brilliantly.

I think that mindfulness is a brilliant tool for people to have in their toolkit, and especially for people like you and me, who get lost in their own thoughts all the time, and who ruminate and dwell on certain thoughts. The more I think about it (no pun intended), the more essential I think it is. I do believe that it can make an enormous transformative difference to the way we live our lives, and some of our more experienced friends here seem to embody that.
But as others have mentioned elsewhere, even for experts, mindfulness won't stop the negative thoughts outright. It will just give us the means to distance ourselves from them.
Also, do remember, mindfulness alone will not cure a depression. Nor is it any kind of miracle cure for other problems. It's no substitute for the basics wellbeing such as eating well, sleeping well, getting a bit of exercise a few times a week, and so on. For help with depression and that family of problems, speaking to a qualified expert is essential. Absolutely essential.

The 8-week suggestion is, I think, a good suggestion. Just to be clear here though.. I know you mentioned that you've been practicing for 8 weeks already but when our friends on this forum talk of '8 weeks', they're really referring to a structured 8-week course, such as the one set out in your Mark Williams book, rather than having started 8 weeks ago.
The 8-week book is structured to help us and guide us through the learning of this new and difficult skill. It will remind us along the way how normal it is to find our minds drifting initially and will remind us to be kind to ourselves as we learn.
Only you can tell whether you feel ready to start that 8 week course right now - perhaps it's not the best time, or perhaps there's never a bad time, I'm not sure. But certainly the 8-week course will give you a lot of opportunity to develop your practice more deeply by increasing the amount of time you practice, and I think you'll find it very rewarding if you can see it through to the end. Even if it isn't the right time for that just now, it's a fabulous goal to set yourself for the future.

In the meantime just stick to as much mindfulness practice as you can manage (even if it's just 3 minutes per day), be kind to yourself, and write back to us here when you feel ready.

[JonW]

I love that post, monkeymind. Absolutely brilliantly put. Every word of it.

[FeeHutch]

Me too Monkeymind.

I hope Jenna and anyone else feeling they are in a similar situation will read that. Thank you.

[avidswimmer333]

While we cannot control our thoughts, we can learn to 'choose' them but it takes practice. The first thing I would say is to be a little gentler with yourself. As long as you are practicing this on a regular basis, you will continue to gain momentum.

When I cannot still my mind, I silently say to myself, 'peace be still. peace be still. peace be still,' or just the word , 'peace.'

Know that you are not alone. Everyone's mind is like a movie reel continuously playing something, but YOU can choose what it does play and since our thoughts create our reality, know for certain that if you choose to think positively for the greater portion of our day, that the outcome of our day will be positive!! Good luck!