How do you "reside in your soul" ?

[Metaphysical Me]

Ach, I'm struggling with a bout of insomnia tonight. It's just gone 3 am here and I'm only half-awake (which is my excuse for the muddled question I'm about to post...)

Okay, so this is maybe a stupid question and technically maybe not even a mindfulness question, but how does the concept of "residing in your soul" sit with the general concept of mindfulness?

A couple of books I've been reading lately suggest that you have:
1. a mind,
2. a body,
3. emotions and
4. a soul (whatever your definition of "soul" is).

I tend to agree with that and I guess that a lot of us have been taught to live in our minds, or in our emotions for much of our day-to-day lives. I know I get stuck in those modes and check in with my soul way too little.

I suppose you could say that when practising mindfulness, you're residing more or less "in your soul" as opposed to "in your mind". (At least, that's how I understand it. Though, of course, this is technically not how it's described in any of the mindfulness literature.)

Sorry that this is so muddled. I wouldn't usually post something so lacking in a coherent train of thought, but I do *feel* like there's something important in this question *somewhere*... Hmm.

My personal view is that I don't really believe in a soul in a "religious" sense. But I do think that we have "something" in us, for which it's hard to find a more fitting lable than "the soul"... There is that "something other" which is not the mind and not the emotions... Something older and wiser than all that.

As I've written in other posts, I've been in the throws of an interesting mid-life crisis for half a year now and a lot of that feels like it's about "listening to my soul" instead of to my mind... Maybe "listening to my heart" is another way of putting it, if the word "soul" sounds too odd for some... But then, "listening to the organ which pumps blood around your body" doesn't sound like it makes all that much sense either, really!

Do you find you have "moments of residing in your soul" when you practise mindfulness? Does mindfulness practice make you feel more in tune with your soul?

XXX Janey

[Metaphysical Me]

Actually, I think I'm a bit scared of the idea of "listening to my soul" or "residing in my soul".

I suspect that my "soul" would find most of my life (my job, my apartment, my finances, my possessions, my cares, my worries, my interests, the people I know) boring and irrelevant.

And perhaps, secretly, so do I. And perhaps, that's what my mid-life crisis is about.

But I'm kinda scared of the idea of "listening to my soul" and hence radically scrapping 90% of the contents of my life.

[Metaphysical Me]

Ooh, well, I've just had a mild epiphany on this. I was listening to a guided meditation yesterday that mentioned something like "forgetting / letting go of the outer world and focussing on the inner world".

Maybe this is what I mean re. "residing in the soul".

I guess that we've been taught to pretty much live fully in the "outer world" - which as adults is work, stress, demands, finances, friends, family, acquaintances, committments, hobbies, interests, bla bla bla...

This leaves sooo little time for the "inner world" - in fact, often the only time spent in the inner world is when sleeping! Or, in our case, when doing mindfulness practice of course!

But still - even if mindfulness practice brings you more in touch with your inner world for, say, an hour per day - that still leaves 90% of your waking day spent wholly in "the outer world".

Maybe being more in tune with your soul - or "residing" in it - is actually about bringing a greater balance to the time we spend each day in the outer and inner worlds?

So maybe a good start would be me clearing an hour or two per day where I can "be in the inner world" (in whatever way seems fitting on a given day) in addition to my mindfulness practice.

Because I find that if mindfulness practice is the only time of the day I truly "turn inwards", then it's kind of way too much energy, focus, expectation, etc on that single daily hour of "gazing inward / soul-searching"...

[Metaphysical Me]

I'm so glad I started this thread, because even if it started out totally vague and muddled, it's now crystallising into something really central to my life and my mid-life crisis.

I was describing the "inner / outer world" issue to my best friend today and we agreed that this issue is going to be (one of ?) the key(s) to moving beyond my mid-life crisis time.

As this issue has resonated more and more inside me, throughout today, I'm finding how much I abhor how work, relationships, finances, and similar issues have kept me stuck more or less permanently in "outer world" mode for the past 2 decades. I've hated it desperately.

So, at the moment my financial situation is relatively relaxed and I can afford to work part-time to go on my soul's journey of crossing the mid-life crisis river.

But how do I proceed, once the mid-life crisis phase has passed?

Do I continue working part-time? And even if I do, the combination of part-time work, household, errands, looking after the dog, tending to relationships (including a partner), etc, etc makes for a LOT of "outer world" stuff to deal with, each and every day.

I mean, I've already simplified my cooking and eating, using the book "The Zen of Eating" (which is primarily geared to people struggling with their weight, but I found it helpful nonetheless).

Also, after seeing a brief info on TV about the fact that the average western person owns a grand total of 10,000 "things" (objects, stuff, possessions) and that a few brave nutters have tried to radically reduce the sum of their possessions to "less than 100"... I decided to cut the number of my possessions by half. And once I've done that, I aim to cut them by half again. Which will leave me with 1/4 of my previous possessions. Which is less stuff to "deal with"...

So there are some ways in which I'm simplifying things... Oh - also important - doing a major spring clean of my "friends, family and acquaintances" list... That's been chopped and pruned recklessly and all I can say is "Good riddance to bad rubbish!"

So I *am* simplifying things. But will that be enough to be able to be more "inner worldy" on a day-to-day basis?

I've been saying since my mid-life crisis started, that I want to be something like an atheist, western, part-time, Zen Buddhist, female monk.

But how do you get that working in western society? What will the neighbours say? Haha...

Honestly tho - if I spend more time tending to my inner world, people will assume I'm "doing nothing".

The modern world has totally lost the concept of being contemplative, of just being, of reflecting, of meditating...

Will it be possible to find a niche in the modern western world, where I can insist on not being trapped in the "outer world" for 90 % of my whole life?????

[JonW]

Hi Metaphysical,
You say, "The modern world has totally lost the concept of being contemplative, of just being, of reflecting, of meditating... Will it be possible to find a niche in the modern western world, where I can insist on not being trapped in the "outer world" for 90 % of my whole life?????"
This is all possible and mindfulness can only help. I would gently suggest that you are over-thinking this though. Mindfulness is simple but it's not easy. The main reason for that is that the practice is so simple that we often begin to question it. And then the mind stirs once again with questions, ruminations, speculations etc. Maybe speculation about the inner and outer world is promoting more turmoil for you.
Could you remind me of your current mindfulness practice? When starting the mindfulness practice, it is crucial to ground yourself in the teachings, otherwise it can become confusing and stressful. Have you read any of the Jon Kabat-Zinn books? Have you thought about finding a local eight-week course so you can learn with a fully-trained teacher?
Wishing you well,
Jon

[Metaphysical Me]

Hi Jon,
yep, I've had one-on-one training in formal meditation and done several mindfulness courses. Read JKZ, Mark Williams, Tara Brach, Rick Hanson, the whole kit and kaboodle...

I'm not sure that I'm over-thinking the issue. The question I've posed is also a big issue for many friends and acquaintances of mine. Life is hectic these days. Connecting to "your inner world" is done like a hobby or chore - it's 30 minutes squeezed in between other tasks... Busy, busy...

Anyway, I know my questions aren't very Zen, aren't very flow-y, aren't very peaceful... but I'm in the midst of a mid-life crisis, so I figure I'm allowed to be in upheaval and all over the place...

I've been doing a lot of guided hypnosis sessions à la Steven Gurgevich and Andrew Weil the past week and have found that really, really helpful - it's such an ultra-intense method of connecting with your inner world, that 30 mins a day are working wonders. That, combined with my usual mindfulness practice are a good starting point.

I'd still love to get more inner world / soul stuff happening on each and every day, tho... There's just so much time and energy gobbled up by work, household and chores... Ugh.

I'm actually thinking of looking for different work to do - work which allows me to be more mindful *while* working, because it's not as mentally taxing, or as high-paced and demanding.

I worked in a factory briefly as a teenager and loved it - just manual, repetitive, unchallenging labour that you could do on auto-pilot, which meant you had your brain to yourself and could be mindful or day-dream or just *be* you...

I'm so sick of working in a demanding profession...

XXX Janey

[piedwagtail91]

mindfulness isn't just time spent on the mat or meditation stool, that's where you 'learn' awareness/ how to be mindful.
the rest of the day is there to apply what you learn on the mat, blend it into you day, sometimes seamlessly sometimes not!
it doesn't mean stopping and closing your eyes but being aware of where you are , what you're doing, where your thoughts are - fully.

work and household 'chores' are just labels, just thoughts.
mindfully washing the dishes, cleaning around the house, anything can be done mindfully. sometimes it means removing the labels we attach.
sometimes it's just how we perceive things that makes them a chore.
my boss loves mindfully washing the dishes, even though she has a dishwasher that she never uses as a result!
the whole day is mindfulness waiting to happen.

a lot of people complain about the weather - horrible rain- but my yoga teacher says in india the kids rush out to play in the rain and enjoy it.
so it's not the rain thats horrible, it's just a thought, what other time can you mindfully watch the raindrops splashing in the puddles?!!