Dealing with anger

[Cheesus]

One of my best friends is essentially bullying my girlfriend, and as a result I am experiencing extremely vivid anger at the moment. I am not usually an angry person at all, and in regards to actually handling the person that is making me angry I am doing quite well at being anti-inflammatory.

However, I keep finding that I am working myself up more and more and I can see it all happening. I feel extremely justified in my anger, and don't feel that it's something that I can remove through addressing negative thoughts.

This will resolve in time (with or without the continuation of my friendship), however at the moment I need to address the deeply deleterious effects that anger is having on my health (I have chronic health issues).

Can I approach this mindfully?

[JonW]

I'm not an expert but this is my view.
If mindfulness has taught me one thing it's that holding onto strong emotions simply results in those emotions becoming more intense and unbearable to live with. Something has to give here.
If this guy wasn't one of your best friends, would you have confronted him about his behaviour by now? Is it the fact that he's one of your best friends stopping you from taking that step? Are you concerned that, if you confront him, you risk losing his friendship?
Is it possible to talk to him in a non-confrontational way and let him know that his behaviour is upsetting to both you and your girlfriend? It's likely that he is unaware of the effect his behaviour is having. If so, he needs to know the truth.
If he reacts defensively or angrily, then so be it. At least you have tried to address this. You've done your best in a difficult situation. What is certain is that your girlfriend doesn't deserve to be bullied and you don't deserve to be left feeling the way you do at present.
Like I say, something's got to give here.

[Cheesus]

I've long since confronted him. The situation is complex and the story long, so I don't want to bore you guys with the details as I am not sure it is really necessary. The point is that he feels he is owed something and we feel he is not. We came to a conclusion on one thing, so now he has moved onto something else.

My girlfriend is currently at a summer school in China, and is free of anxiety for the first time in months. But now he won't stop contacting her and bullying her, and she is constantly being reduced to tears thousands and thousands of miles away where I am finding it very difficult to help her.

He is fully aware of what he is doing, as I have explicitly told him what impact it is having. I don't know what else I can do here, but I do know that I need to address the serious anger that is arising from the situation as it is really impacting my health (and I don't want to spend my days ruminating on all the ways that I feel this is unjust).

Any ideas?

[Cheesus]

You were spot on correct about something having to give. He text me saying he wants nothing more to do with me and I let go of everything I've been dying to say.

Mindfulness kind of just went out the window there.

EDIT: i'm feeling so much better now though keeping that stuff stored inside you is no good. I'm finally able to turn mindfully towards my mental, physical and emotional turmoil through all this. I feel like i've had a lovely hot bath or something.

[JonW]

It seems to me that you dealt with a very difficult situation mindfully. That's to say, you considered your response rather than reacting with anger which would most likely have made a bad situation worse.
The mindful thing to do now would be to watch all those emotions rise and not get attached to them. A lovely hot bath would surely help.
All best, Jon