Odd question....

[tcabril]

I am new to meditation and mindfulness so naturally I want to know how to determine if it’s working....
Some days it’s great others my mind is a mess....
I am reading many books on the subject and using the Breethe app....
But I just don’t have a reference point to know it working....

I am sure that my thought process is wrong but I figured I’d ask anyways....

[JonW]

Hi tcabril,
Welcome to the forum.
Your question is a good one and often comes up.
As you've probably realised from your reading, mindfulness isn't about attaining a particular state of mind or achieving a particular goal. It's about being with your experience just as it is.
So, when you write, 'Some days it’s great others my mind is a mess,' that's simply your experience. So be with that.
Unavoidably, goals and expectations are fairly inevitable when one begins practicing meditation. As a teacher, I always invite people to set those goals and expectations aside when they begin a course and simply go with the process.
It's perfectly ok to occasionally check in with yourself and ask what benefits are accruing from regular practice but those questions can get in the way. If we're not careful, we can begin judging our 'progress' from meditation to meditation, and that's not really what it's about. Some meditations are peaceful. Sometimes our minds are all over the place.
It's worth remembering that we can only be mindful in the moment. So there's little point is speculating where practice will have taken us a month from now, a year from now, ten years from now.
When we sit and practice, we are cultivating the ability to stay with our immediate experience, being present with whatever is arising - whether the experience is pleasant, unpleasant, or something in between. It's not really about getting anywhere. It's about being aware of where we are and what is happening, as it happens.
Right now, you are grounding yourself in practice. It takes time, patience and not a little commitment.
Maybe look into finding a teacher in your local area or, if that's not a possibility, do an 8-week course via a book. Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman is a great one. Doing some kind of course will not only help you ground yourself in the practice, it will also introduce you to a variety of meditations including body scans, walking meditation, mindful movement...
That aside, I'd recommend not getting too immersed in reading about mindfulness/meditation at this early stage. You don't want to get too wrapped up in the concepts underlying the practice at this stage. It's experiential, not conceptual. Regular practice is the key to folding mindfulness into your everyday life.
Do let us know how you get along. And please don't hesitate to pipe up if you have any questions at any time. We'll do our best to answer them here on the forum.
All good things,
Jon

[Peter]

Great elaborate advise from Jon! I totally agree with him. I hope I'm not embarrassing him if I say I find it truly amazing how much time and effort Jon is willing to give to the community for years now.

Very concretely: For me the thing that stands out the most is a perception shift. In stead of living in one's head and experiencing thoughts as being one's reality, one notices that those thoughts are just a phenomenon one can witness and examine. In time this perception shift enables us to respond with a mindful intent instead of a knee-jerk reaction. A lot more has changed for me, but this stands out the most for me today. If you'd ask me again tomorrow, you might get a different answer though

[JonW]

Thank you, Peter.
I agree 100% with your point about perception. That's definitely my experience too.
Mindfulness becomes the default position and an altogether different way of being from the one that defined my life before I started meditating.
As I'm fond of saying, the sitting is the practice, the rest of the day is the meditation.
It takes time, patience, self-compassion and commitment to get to that point though and, in my opinion, not realisable unless one has grounded oneself in the practice. Once the grounding has taken place, this stuff, in my own experience, becomes second nature. The concepts underpinning the practice are important to grasp but, ultimately, it's about embodying the practice in everyday life and fully participating in the moment.
I like the way Noelle Oxenhandler puts it: 'As a child, I loved to play Rock Paper Scissors. When I discovered meditation, it was as though I discovered the shape that could rise to meet any obstacle.'
Exactly that.
All good things,
Jon

[Peter]

Thanks Jon. Great stuff.

[tcabril]

Thank you!
This was great help!
I will keep you updated as I progress but it’s been great so far.
I find I am a bit calmer - when I find agitation building I quietly focus on my breaths (breathe in - breathe out) and it calms me.....

tcabril (aka Todd)