Begining again - and sustaining

[JonW]

Hi Walter,
It's worth persevering with. Turning Towards Difficulty is a pivotal part of the course.
We are conditioned to turn away from suffering, even though experience teaches us that
that turning away only seems to multiply our problems.
It is as though our minds and bodies are sending out messages and signs. If we choose to ignore them, those messages and signs tend to get more and more insistent until they are noticed and accepted. In the meantime, we suffer.
In turning towards unpleasant experiences, there is a chance we may be able to be intimate with them, to understand them. When we shine the light of attention on them, it is very possible that they will lose their power. Simply, that light is mindfulness.
Think of Turning Towards Difficulty as an extension of the body scan. Rather than get wrapped up in thoughts about the difficulty we are encountering, we are tuning into our bodies.
By doing so, we begin to see how quick and keen we are to avoid dealing with the unpleasant in our lives. We become more intimate with the way negative thoughts give birth to anxious feelings which, in turn, give birth to disagreeable body sensations. With practice, we can begin to un-do the habitual reactions that seem to cause us so much suffering.
In the longer terms term, we develop more skillful ways of relating to troublesome experiences.
Mindfulness helps to create a space between the difficulty and our reaction to it. The awareness that arises through mindfulness allows us to observe how we respond to things by ignoring them, avoiding them or distracting ourselves from them. With this knowledge, we can begin to make more informed decisions and respond rather than react on autopilot. Instead of becoming attached to the familiar story of what is happening to ‘me’ and how unfair it is, we can bring a wise attention to what is going on in our lives.
Mindfulness gives us back the choice to choose how we respond to things and allows us to turn towards our difficulties. To embrace them, become more familiar with them and encourage ourselves to grow and expand into them.
Staying with challenging thoughts and emotions, we then bring our curiosity to where they manifest themselves in the body. Whatever kind of discomfort is there, we rest in awareness, acknowledging the thoughts and feelings that arise, without judgment.
In the body scan we learned to breathe in and out of different parts of the body. Now we do something very similar with sensations connected with difficulty.
With practice we learn to work with the attachments and aversions that arise by turning towards our experience as it unfolds with gentleness and curiosity. As we open to our own experience and turn towards it, perhaps we can see that unpleasant thoughts and feelings will not consume us. Even the thoughts and feelings that we fear most can be accepted and worked with.
We begin to see that the experiences that we label “unpleasant events” can be welcomed rather than resisted. As Mark Williams and Danny Penman say about unpleasant experiences in Finding Peace In A Frantic World, ‘We welcome them in, as they are already here anyway.’
Like all experiences, they are constantly changing. Even as we experience these things (thoughts, feelings, body sensations), they are already on their way to becoming some other experience.
So what happens if we simply turn towards them, acknowledge with clear seeing that they have arrived, accept them, and allow them to be?
As ever, self-compassion is key here.
If parts of the various ‘Turning Towards…’ meditations prove to be too challenging, remember that you only need to stay with the intensity for as long as feels manageable for you in that particular moment. If the experience becomes overwhelming, bring your attention to your breathing and return to the body sensations when you feel ready.
Do let us know how you get along.
Best wishes,
Jon

[Walter]

Hi Jon,

Thank you very much for the very detailed answer!
I understood that it's really not an easy part in practice. I'll work hard to get it done this time.

All the best and happy new year!
Walter

[JonW]

Happy new year to you too, Walter.
If any resistance comes up to the meditation, use that resistance in your meditation. Bring curiosity to it. Be intimate with what it is that you are resisting, be it boredom, unease, uncomfortable emotions etc.
And remember to ease yourself into this meditation very gently. Choose a difficulty at the lighter end of the spectrum, rather than your worst imagining.
Do let us know how you get along. Maybe, at some point, you'd consider writing a blog for us about your experience.
Best wishes,
Jon, Brighton