returning to the breath

[razvan_g]

Hi. I am new to the concept of mindfulness and when I heard that being in the present moment is a healthy way of living and looking at life, something positive clicked in me. I somehow realised that all the happy moments that happened in my life were due to the fact that i was present in that moment and that a lot of my unhappiness and fear came from my thoughts, the thoughts that, we all know, are not the absolute truth. However, here comes my problem. I have heard about "breath awareness" and "returning to the breath" and started noticing and being attentive to my own breath. And, although maybe the first three mindful breaths that I took after hearing about this conscious breathing put me in a peaceful state, I find it impossible to maintain that state and I feel constantly frustrated. So althoughy I constantly become aware of my breath or try to become aware of the energy and life in my hands or feet, like I've heard Eckhart Tolle suggesting, I feel that i am, like before, a prisoner of my mind and my thoughts. It's almost like being mindful or in the present moment has become just another goal I can't reach. So, in other words, I feel like I'm failing this "mindfulness thing". Am I expecting too much too soon or something like that? Probabil my mind is interfering with this process, then how do I stop it or accept its interference? Do you have any suggestions? Thank you

[JonW]

Hi razvan_g,
Welcome to the forum.
You say, 'Although maybe the first three mindful breaths that I took after hearing about this conscious breathing put me in a peaceful state, I find it impossible to maintain that state and I feel constantly frustrated.'
Mindfulness is not about attaining/maintaining a specific state like relaxation. It's about being with whatever is arising in your experience in the present moment - pleasant, unpleasant, indifferent.
How are you going about learning mindfulness? Via teacher? Book? Online course?
All good things,
Jon

[razvan_g]

I can't say I'm learning mindfulness properly. I have read 3 books by Eckhart Tolle and, whenever I feel flooded by thoughts, I try to return my breath. So far, that is my entire "practice".

[JonW]

It is worth thinking about bringing some structure to your learning.
Tolle occasionally nods in the direction of mindfulness but he's not really a mindfulness writer/teacher.
Jon

[razvan_g]

Can you suggest, for starters, a few mindfulness books that nod in the right direction, as you say?

[JonW]

Sure thing.
Finding Peace In A Frantic World by Mark Williams & Danny Penman.
Wherever You go...by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
The Mindfulness Manifesto by Jonty Heaversedge & Ed Halliwell .

Cheers,
Jon

[Gerard]

I wonder if I might add a suggestion - Meditation Made Easy by Lorin Roche. Not strictly a mindfulness book but it's a wonderful introduction to not giving yourself a hard time about things in this broad field.

[Innerchatter]

i have just finished the finding peace in a frantic world book, and would also strongly recommend it. it will give you a good grounding in the main concepts.

one of the main things that i have found in my practice, is that when following your breath, you don't do it it, to achieve any state of mind, or to block out thoughts or replace, them. that will never work, all you do is follow the breath, have no expectations of it, just follow it.... sounds like an over simplification but although sometimes its easier said then done, that approach is easiest, then if you find your mind does wondered, its no trouble, no reason to fell like you have gone wrong, just notice that have been distracted and go back to the breath,

if you actually follow the breath and don't try to control it in any way, its actually quite riveting....

but yes its best to have a formal practice, as it will help you in your everyday life.

[JonW]

'all you do is follow the breath, have no expectations of it, just follow it..'

That's it, exactly.
Jon

[clwguy]

Hi razvan_g,

I'm relatively new to Mindfulness as well. I found Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn to be extremely helpful. It's quite long and somewhat repetitive (which I myself had no problem) but it really takes you through the concept of Mindfulness along with providing guidance and exercises on how to practice it. It closely follows the course taught at the Center For MIndfulness at U Mass.