Mindfulness of anxiety and OCD impulses - how?

[Jonaaaa]

Thanks to some of the kind people here I am now applying the basic mindfulness tenets to my general life. I now seek to apply them to the OCD and anxiety which burden me. The two overlap to a great extent.

The OCD I have is weird. I do NOT do compulsions to ward-off some tragedy, like "If I don't do x, this person will die." I just feel compelled to think things through until they feel 'right'. This can be remembering something and feeling as though I actually did at the time, as if the recalled event was actually happening. It can be imagining that things I worry about until I feel convinced that they will turn out okay.

In addition, I often have to repeat these thoughts if I use the wrong words or the wrong sequence of words, or the idiomatic English I think them in wasn't strictly correct use of language.

I have had therapy for both of these issues but the psychologist just said to use the 'STOP!' technique. Problem is, that doesn't tell you what to do with the impulses to think and feelings of dread if I don't think things through and convince myself that they won't happen.

So, my question is this: how should I apply mindfulness to these situations and feelings? At the moment it feels that I am returning my concentration to the present but also either walling these fears and impulses off or pushing them down.

[JonW]

Hi Jonaaaa,
Mindfully speaking, we would simply notice those fears, impulses and thoughts as they arise - then return to the anchor (usually the breath). We're definitely not trying to ward them off or push them down. We are, in a sense, befriending them.
Cheers,
Jon

[Kukurijek]

I struggle with this too. My OCD is exhibited primarily through health worries, especially regarding my wife and child. Something will trigger my impulses and I could spend hours researching, worrying, reasoning. For example, we went over to friend's house and they had a new puppy who was on its last deworming pill. They have not seen worms in its poop nor did we bring our son near the dog, but the friend's parents did hold my son. Shortly thereafter, I was overriden with panic around my son getting the worms, which culminated in a pnic attack and being convinced my son might lose his eyesight due to this (internet searches yielded such results). Took me few hours to settle down, exhausted.

I find it hard to observe these obsessions in a curious, friendly way. When they come about, however, I can say "hey, this is you analyzing" and that makes it easier to move on.

There is a book on OCD and mindfulness that I found useful - look it up on Amazon its the first thing that comes up when you search both terms

[JonW]

Hi Kukurijek,
A 'Turning Towards Difficulty' meditation might be useful for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7UZiD-Wen4
All best,
Jon

[japa.guru]

Hi Jonaaaa,
Mindfully speaking, we would simply notice those fears, impulses and thoughts as they arise - then return to the anchor (usually the breath). We're definitely not trying to ward them off or push them down. We are, in a sense, befriending them.
Cheers,
Jon

I completely agree with John here - and through bringing your focus to your anchor you will be working through these. Slowly, bit by bit, you will reduce their frequency and intensity. It may feel as if you are pushing them down but that is your mind trying to cling on.

[Jonaaaa]

I struggle with this too. My OCD is exhibited primarily through health worries, especially regarding my wife and child. Something will trigger my impulses and I could spend hours researching, worrying, reasoning. For example, we went over to friend's house and they had a new puppy who was on its last deworming pill. They have not seen worms in its poop nor did we bring our son near the dog, but the friend's parents did hold my son. Shortly thereafter, I was overriden with panic around my son getting the worms, which culminated in a pnic attack and being convinced my son might lose his eyesight due to this (internet searches yielded such results). Took me few hours to settle down, exhausted.

I find it hard to observe these obsessions in a curious, friendly way. When they come about, however, I can say "hey, this is you analyzing" and that makes it easier to move on.

There is a book on OCD and mindfulness that I found useful - look it up on Amazon its the first thing that comes up when you search both terms

Thanks for your thoughts and I wish you success in living with the disease. I have tried to the book on Amazin (the workbook, right?( but I wasn't a fan as it seemed to focus on people who perform rituals to ward-off some imagined future tragedy - "If I don't touch the door handle 25 times my uncle will have a car crash," type OCD.

It frustrates me that there is little to no understanding that there are OCD forms like ours that are not just purely thought-based, but which have at least some basis in realistic fears (albeit to an exaggerated level).

Thanks, Jon W. When I catch myself 'OCDing' or otherwise worrying I will return to the present. I think it will be very hard initially because both OCD and worry impulses are massively strong as there's the feeling that things are wrong and when the 2 conditions of GAD & OCD collide and overlap, the 'wrongness' feels as though it is very real and very present.

But there is no other way through it.

[DJLSFC]

"I think it will be very hard initially because both OCD and worry impulses are massively strong as there's the feeling that things are wrong and when the 2 conditions of GAD & OCD collide and overlap, the 'wrongness' feels as though it is very real and very present."

Could you try practicing maybe not scratching itches, not giving into the urge to move, or just feel the reaction to when you feel bored. Not saying these urges are anything like OCD but at least its a small step on the way ?

[Jonaaaa]

It could work. Though the urges are 'different' in how they feel, the overwhelming urge with both is to scratch and to think. So it may be a useful practice ground and I think this is a very wise suggestion, thanks.

I do this during formal practice - I see if it the itch goes on its own before trying to mindfully scratch it.. Maybe time to try the same in everyday situations.