Affirmations and Striving?
Hello star
I am new to this board, and I don't know what the official line would be on: "striving", but striving sounds like hard work to me!
As I understand mindfulness, it's not meant to be hard work, i.e. more about 'being' than thinking about where you 'should' be, or even want to be.
My suggestion is that you say your affirmations out loud: that is, don't just think them, but say them so that you hear yourself speaking them; followed by a period of mindfulness using a single focal point, such as your breath, or some other focus within the usual practice of mindfulness.
Various research projects have shown that speaking out, i.e. putting thoughts into words outside of your head can make a difference to the way it is processed by the speaker.
But I am a great believer in the idea that we are all scientists in our own way, and that what we do in life constitutes numerous chains of on-going experiments, so maybe you can give this suggestion a try and see if it works for you?
If it does, then maybe it is something you might want to incorporate into your practice, or not ... depending on how you feel about it.
ATB
Sky
I am new to this board, and I don't know what the official line would be on: "striving", but striving sounds like hard work to me!
As I understand mindfulness, it's not meant to be hard work, i.e. more about 'being' than thinking about where you 'should' be, or even want to be.
My suggestion is that you say your affirmations out loud: that is, don't just think them, but say them so that you hear yourself speaking them; followed by a period of mindfulness using a single focal point, such as your breath, or some other focus within the usual practice of mindfulness.
Various research projects have shown that speaking out, i.e. putting thoughts into words outside of your head can make a difference to the way it is processed by the speaker.
But I am a great believer in the idea that we are all scientists in our own way, and that what we do in life constitutes numerous chains of on-going experiments, so maybe you can give this suggestion a try and see if it works for you?
If it does, then maybe it is something you might want to incorporate into your practice, or not ... depending on how you feel about it.
ATB
Sky
Thanks for reply Skywalker, i just thought, with Mindfulness you are not meant to get anwhere or acheive anything by it, just be and accept, so maybe some affirmations are a bit like wanting things you don't have, but i have also read that affrimations don't necessarily work if used too often, the mind just gets desensitized and they lose their power. I shall try with the saying out loud though and i believe writing things down helps too : )
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piedwagtail91
- Posts: 613
- Practice Mindfulness Since: 0- 3-2011
- Location: Lancashire witch country
If you're going to use affirmations then be careful of what you use.
Only use words that are real, are fact.
Some of the phrases you suggest may lead to difficulty,life isn't always joyous and if you use an affirmation suggest it is then disappointment is waiting for you.
You're right in your second post in what you say about them.
You may be better with metta which uses very generalised words which do help but which have no implications, no goal or aim. There are some examples here.
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/h ... lness.html
mick
Ps. I've just checked the link and notice they've sneaked a survey in. At the bottom of the survey is a' skip button'. don't fill in the survey.sorry about that it didn't show when I copied the link.
Only use words that are real, are fact.
Some of the phrases you suggest may lead to difficulty,life isn't always joyous and if you use an affirmation suggest it is then disappointment is waiting for you.
You're right in your second post in what you say about them.
You may be better with metta which uses very generalised words which do help but which have no implications, no goal or aim. There are some examples here.
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/h ... lness.html
mick
Ps. I've just checked the link and notice they've sneaked a survey in. At the bottom of the survey is a' skip button'. don't fill in the survey.sorry about that it didn't show when I copied the link.
Last edited by piedwagtail91 on Sun Jul 12, 2015 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Star
There is nothing wrong with wanting things you don't have, and from what I see of it, mindfulness can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be, e.g. the more books that are produced, the more interpretations there will be.
But my understanding of meditation is that it involves observing one's process without getting drawn into processing, or following up on the the thoughts that arise.
My advice is to aim for a single focus, such as breath, a single sound, maybe a single word (mantra), etc. Keep it as simple as possible. The focus is a vehicle, not an end in itself, that's my opinion. I'm thinking your affirmations could be an end in themselves, which might complicate the process of meditation. But then why not try it and see how it works for you? You can compare it with the simple approach I describe. You won't come to any harm. Life is an experiment, if one thing doesn't work for you, try something else, that's my advice.
Very successful people have usually made many mistakes along the way - if we learn from our mistakes without getting bogged down by dwelling on them, then we can achieve many things. Mindfulness won't change your life, but it may free up the potential you have to make such changes. I think that is the paradox of accepting where you are now so as to get somewhere else.
I like the metaphor of the computer that has got bogged down with malware, i.e. it runs slowly because the processor has been loaded up with unwanted background processes. While mindfulness may not remove processes like an anti-malware cleaner, it does seem to allow the brain to sort things out a bit.
I went through a period of depression some years ago, and I tried my hardest to think myself out of it, but the more I tried, the deeper I sank - it was like struggling in quicksand. So I just stopped trying, and used various relaxation techniques, which I don't think were a cure in themselves, rather they allowed my brain to relax and to recover naturally.
Clinical depression is an illness that requires professional assessment, and I would never recommend mindfulness as a cure in itself. But as an adjunct to other things, I do think it can help. If you are struggling with depression or some other serious difficulties don't be too strong to seek other forms of help, perhaps counselling, for example. Life comes with ups and downs, and sometimes we need a helping hand to bounce back again.
ATB
Sky
There is nothing wrong with wanting things you don't have, and from what I see of it, mindfulness can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be, e.g. the more books that are produced, the more interpretations there will be.
But my understanding of meditation is that it involves observing one's process without getting drawn into processing, or following up on the the thoughts that arise.
My advice is to aim for a single focus, such as breath, a single sound, maybe a single word (mantra), etc. Keep it as simple as possible. The focus is a vehicle, not an end in itself, that's my opinion. I'm thinking your affirmations could be an end in themselves, which might complicate the process of meditation. But then why not try it and see how it works for you? You can compare it with the simple approach I describe. You won't come to any harm. Life is an experiment, if one thing doesn't work for you, try something else, that's my advice.
Very successful people have usually made many mistakes along the way - if we learn from our mistakes without getting bogged down by dwelling on them, then we can achieve many things. Mindfulness won't change your life, but it may free up the potential you have to make such changes. I think that is the paradox of accepting where you are now so as to get somewhere else.
I like the metaphor of the computer that has got bogged down with malware, i.e. it runs slowly because the processor has been loaded up with unwanted background processes. While mindfulness may not remove processes like an anti-malware cleaner, it does seem to allow the brain to sort things out a bit.
I went through a period of depression some years ago, and I tried my hardest to think myself out of it, but the more I tried, the deeper I sank - it was like struggling in quicksand. So I just stopped trying, and used various relaxation techniques, which I don't think were a cure in themselves, rather they allowed my brain to relax and to recover naturally.
Clinical depression is an illness that requires professional assessment, and I would never recommend mindfulness as a cure in itself. But as an adjunct to other things, I do think it can help. If you are struggling with depression or some other serious difficulties don't be too strong to seek other forms of help, perhaps counselling, for example. Life comes with ups and downs, and sometimes we need a helping hand to bounce back again.
ATB
Sky
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piedwagtail91
- Posts: 613
- Practice Mindfulness Since: 0- 3-2011
- Location: Lancashire witch country
Do positive affirmations work? Here's an article that has strong arguments for why they may not:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2 ... dont-work/
"The reason positive affirmations don’t work is that they target the conscious level of your mind, but not the unconscious. If what you are trying to affirm is incongruent with a deeply held negative belief, then all that results is an inner struggle."
Another article explicitly recommends using mindfulness instead of using positive affirmations:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wi ... tions-work
For instance, if you think, "my life presents to me joyous circumstances" and your subconscious responds, "No it doesn't, I'm depressed!" then you are immediately into an argument, and increasing the suffering. Might it not be better to simply be mindful of your depression, to accept it, let it be. Then, in this state of calm awareness, the depression might slowly dissipate.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2 ... dont-work/
"The reason positive affirmations don’t work is that they target the conscious level of your mind, but not the unconscious. If what you are trying to affirm is incongruent with a deeply held negative belief, then all that results is an inner struggle."
Another article explicitly recommends using mindfulness instead of using positive affirmations:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wi ... tions-work
For instance, if you think, "my life presents to me joyous circumstances" and your subconscious responds, "No it doesn't, I'm depressed!" then you are immediately into an argument, and increasing the suffering. Might it not be better to simply be mindful of your depression, to accept it, let it be. Then, in this state of calm awareness, the depression might slowly dissipate.
I'm not sure that affirmations as such are normally included in standard mindfulness practice. From my own experience of having tried them (before I discovered mindfulness), I found that telling myself 'I am' something which I don't really feel can lead to the opposite of what mindfulness is all about - which is learning to 'be with' our experience, just as it is, in a kind and gentle way.
As has been mentioned - metta (or kindness) practices do incorporate the use of phrases, but the language is usually more conducive to this mindful acceptance, eg 'May I have ease of being'. In framing it as a wish or intention, the 'May I' makes room for us not to be feeling that way right now.
Personally I've benefited hugely from self-kindness practices like this (which are now taught within some 8-week mindfulness courses like the Breathworks programme) - and you can find a free version of this style on my website.
I also wrote about this in the piece How To Be Happy, Just As You Are - which was published here on Everyday Mindfulness http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/how ... s-you-are/
Kind wishes,
Sheila
As has been mentioned - metta (or kindness) practices do incorporate the use of phrases, but the language is usually more conducive to this mindful acceptance, eg 'May I have ease of being'. In framing it as a wish or intention, the 'May I' makes room for us not to be feeling that way right now.
Personally I've benefited hugely from self-kindness practices like this (which are now taught within some 8-week mindfulness courses like the Breathworks programme) - and you can find a free version of this style on my website.
I also wrote about this in the piece How To Be Happy, Just As You Are - which was published here on Everyday Mindfulness http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/how ... s-you-are/
Kind wishes,
Sheila
"We can't control what happens in life, but we can choose a positive response"
http://www.lollipopwellbeing.com
http://www.lollipopwellbeing.com
I suppose an affirmation could be used as a mantra, but then a simpler and more meaningless mantra would likely serve the purpose better.
Using a self-hypnosis CD to induce a relaxed state, then reciting the affirmation might be more effective. Being more about using power of suggestion than mindfulness.
Sky
Using a self-hypnosis CD to induce a relaxed state, then reciting the affirmation might be more effective. Being more about using power of suggestion than mindfulness.
Sky
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