Anxiety Worse after after 2 weeks of Mindfulness programme.

[samdylanirwin]

Hi ACC67,
As someone who has suffered a lot from anxiety in the past I can say this is a pretty normal feeling. Just be gentle with yourself. I felt this too when I first got into mindfulness...

For me I fell into the trap of thinking I need to force some kind of resolution or solution...you know the kind of 'instant fix-it' mentally...One day I decided to approach mindfulness with the intention of just to create a safe and accepting inner environment, inviting up whatever feelings were here without the need to force anything...I instantly felt a entire relaxation...

Remember there is a fundamental drive for safety at the bottom of anxiety...when we are anxious we are feeling our powerlessness, our vulnerability...This is something we are not use to feeling, so natural there will be some initial discomfort...but that passes.

We feel this because we are completely immersed in aspect of conditioned sense of that feels broken at it's core...
So what I suggest is just to keep coming back to your natural presence that is always here. The easiest way to do this is through body awareness exercises. Simply become aware of physical feeling of your body.

Notice to body is always in the present moment...and the mind is always in the past or anticipating a future...

So coming back to your body naturally brings you into the present moment...and if you carry an intention of allowing to let whatever emotion you are feeling just be there....'Yes, may this too be held in loving kindness"... you find yourself coming back to your centre, a natural presence that is greater than any problem that you may have.

Wishing you all the best

[JonW]

Great post, Sam.
And a very warm welcome to you.
Please feel free to make yourself at home here at Everyday Mindfulness.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[samdylanirwin]

Hi Jon,
Thank you, this really does look like a great forum.
Looking forward to having a look around and getting to know some people here!
Cheers, Sam

[KernelOfWisdom]

Hello ACC67,

There are already a lot of great replies to your question here but I wanted to reach out and reiterate the point that you're certainly not alone in this. It is, as some of the other posters mention, it is really common for feelings to intensify when we start with mindfulness. What the practice has us do it look into ourselves and, often, with intense feelings we are more used to stuffing them down/trying to hide from them and so we feel their intensity more at first. But it is also true (as someone mentioned), that you will also start to develop more coping mechanisms, and often really sustainable ones. Essentially, the more you meditate you end up going through the following steps:
(1) you learn to come back to the breath, step out of the feeling a bit and calm down (2) you learn how to "hold" your feelings, and listen to them, which is for some people a HUGE step because many people tend to be so scared of their feelings they don't listen to what those feelings are trying to tell them and so the feelings persist because we keep ignoring them and what they are trying to teach us (3) the more we start to understand our triggers and what's at the root of those feelings, so the better we can deal with the 'source' and (4) the more we learn to love ourselves and be gentle with ourselves, so we can hold and accept our feelings without feeling as affected by them.

If at all possible for you, the more you can practice with a teacher or group, the more you might be able to progress past the intensity as they can help you reflect and deal with the feelings in different ways. Otherwise, just be gentle with yourself and if you need to take your time and pull back a bit or just come back to your breath and focus on calm, do. It'll get easier BUT letting things come up is a great first step, so congratulations!